in thinking that just because you're a sahm, you're not automatically your dp's PA and in charge of all post?

[Boco]

Because I got woken up this morning being ranted at because he hadn't been through his pile of post, that I always leave in the same place, in a pile, and he hadn't opened his student loan letter so hadn't deferred in time and can't afford to start payments and it is MY fault because I should go through the post and I should have sorted out a system of in and out trays and then this would never have happened.

AIBU? Maybe I am, should sahms deal with ALL paperwork regardless of who it's for.

Do you have an in tray??

I work from home in a sometimes a bit vague sort of way, but was still working until 12.30 last night and am ranting because I'm tired and don't like being woken up with crossness. So, if you tell me I'm being unreasonable I might come to your house and cry on your doorstep. OK?

Madamez, thankfully I can never think of a time that i've been woken up like this. Dp seems to have regular Basil Fawlty style crossness when stressed, kind of spinning and fist shaking and shouting at the walls. It's not good. I don't at all feel like a minion or anything, just rather weary of his temper and mood.

Hmm, Boco. I'd get weary of living with a tantrum-thrower as well. I think generally the best way to treat someone like this is to calmly leave the room (they have to learn that squawking and spitting the dummy doesn't get desired results) but it is a PITA for you. Sympathy.

I do open DHs post, but not anything that looks personal, or something that I know I don't have to deal with. I started doing this because important letters weren't getting opened. I do the filing and attempt to get finances etc. organised. I tell him what needs doing, get him to sign things etc. It's easier than wondering if things are getting paid, and finding random piles of important paperwork in odd places. It doesn't take long and means things get done my way. This works for us, of course everyone's different.
Tell him either you sort ALL his post or none, and that the pile you leave him IS an in-tray. If he requires an actual in-tray, he must go out and purchase one himself.

xx

YABU. If you dont work you need to earn your keep

Earn your keep by opening his post for him?
I agree with Anna

Look, even if you work full time or part time you are still expected to do everything else. This week I have taken 2 days off work (because of course I can) as ds was having a minor operation. However, I totally failed to arrange for the gas boiler and fire to be serviced, or for the dodgy tap in the bathroom to be fixed. Why not? Because both will entail me having to take YET MORE TIME OFF WORK.