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AIBU?

Work banter or am I being sensitive

6 replies

Saymynamesaymyname1984 · 02/02/2024 13:42

Hello,
I work in a team of 3. We get on individually but I’ve noticed that the two others have started ganging up on me. It started out as banter but I’m finding they like laughing together about the things I do or have said and it’s started upsetting me. It’s getting to the point that I don’t want to speak anymore incase I say the wrong thing. I’m not sure what to do anymore. I have tried to do the same thing to them and they don’t like it back. Aibu to be bothered about it? Wwyd?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

33 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
15%
You are NOT being unreasonable
85%
Lwrenn · 02/02/2024 14:11

Without an example I can't really say, however you feeling this way isn't good and you need to address it because you shouldn't feel ostracised in your job, op x

Irridescantshimmmer · 02/02/2024 14:40

That's cruel of them..

Make a log of what's going on with these two and include details of the effect their actions are having on your MH.

Then report them to HR, don't let it go on for too long, because the extra stress they are puttling you through can manifest as physical illness.

They clearly lack the intelligence to treat you with respect then you take it further and report them, you may want to warn them before you do this but for some inebriates, their behaviour gets worse, but this is up to you to decide.

When they have been pulled up and reprimanded, they will realise what Muppets they have been.

Hope things get better for you OP.

jackstini · 02/02/2024 15:22

What kind of things are they saying & what have you said back to them so far?

Hard to know without a bit more detail but they sound twattish...

DinnaeFashYersel · 02/02/2024 15:27

If its upsetting you then its gone too far.

You have 5 choices:

  1. leave (don't do that)
  2. put up with it (don't do that)
  3. speak to them about it (is this something that you think you could do?)
  4. raise it with your line manager and ask for support in dealing with it
  5. raise it with HR and ask for support in dealing with it

    I'd recommend you try 3, 4 or 5.
stayathomer · 02/02/2024 15:31

As DinnaeFashYersel said. It hugely depends on how easily you speak to each other. I used to be in a job where we were all close and would joke about each other a bit, but when I started finding it too much ( was finding the work tough so their jokes just made me start to feel worse), I said ‘guys, will you not please?’ and it stopped with no hard feelings. But as I said we were friends

Saymynamesaymyname1984 · 02/02/2024 17:35

these are the examples
i work in a planning office and we have to lock away important documents, which we have the key for, sometimes managers will come up and need one of them from the cupboard where they’re stored safely . So part of the job is to get the correct document out for the managers that’s where it begins:
“why do you get up out your chair to give them a document out the filing cabinet, let them get it themselves” then the laughter between them will start.
We were chatting yesterday and I could have sworn one of them was talking about a particular interested and I responded. I then get a bunch of laughter and a “what are you on about” which made me feel like I’m mental.
I’ve had them play jokes on me with them writing notes that managers have came in and asked for documents.

They ask me about my personal life with my partner and laugh because I have nothing negative to say about my partner like they do about theirs.

I can have a joke but feel that it’s getting a bit mean with how they are with me.

I just feel like they’ve got each others back when they’re together.

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