How do I focus?

[NewKidOnTheBlock99]

So my issue is two fold - one I simply can't focus or get anything done, I have been sitting here for almost three hours with high priority tasks and no meetings and I have done NOTHING. I have been reasearching how to focus, productivity everything but basically working.

Second issue - I can't ever start anything or commit to anything. e.g I really want to get back in to exercise and healthy eating but I spend hours researching the best thing to do - do I want to do classes? or running? or maybe I want to purchase a guide or maybe I am best with an online subscription. This all culminates in hours of research and no plan - and this happens with EVERYTHING even clothes for DC - hours of research and looking. If I let myself I would spend HUNDREDS on new workout stuff, supplements as I convince myself thats all I need to get started. I spend my time doing this instead of working!!! I also then wake up and because I have no plan or not sure what to do I just don't exercise.

Thats it. I can't focus on anything - I always feel like my mind is running a million miles an hour and it is exhausting, I get so frustrated and upset with myself because I don't feel normal. I also feel like I have NO TIME and that's because I am unable to utilise my time effectively.

I have thought about inattentive ADHD - I have always been a bit distracted, I remember very vividly barely ever listening in school and spending most of my time daydreaming. Somehow I have always managed to scrape through though with quite good grades and now have quite a high powered job BUT I.Just.Cant.Focus. I have always thought if I actually applied myself I would be unstoppable. With my job I know all the things I should be doing plus going above and beyond and I just can't do them.

There is also definietly some hormonal things going on in the background - this has all gotten alot worse since having DC.

Does anyone else feel like this?? How on earth do you focus?? It is really starting to affect my life and I am not sure what to do about it. Any tips would help!!!

My brother was diagnosed with ADHD as an older adult. He found the meds very helpful. Go back to the doctor and push for them.

Yeah I was going to say ADHD. There is some evidence that it can get worse with pregnancy/postpartum hormones. However it doesn't generally come on out of nowhere - have you always struggled with this?

The waiting lists are long, so I'd recommend getting on one and in the meantime, ask your doctor for blood tests for vitamin deficiencies, and a thyroid check. These things can get messed up with pregnancies too and can cause similar symptoms, so it's worth ruling them out.

Are you sleeping enough?

Could have written this word for word. Also suspect inattentive ADHD

I think in the absence of a formal diagnosis, some things I do that I find useful (as I could have written a few of these things) is: using lists, using a calendar on my phone, using the pomodoro method (20 mins on, 5 min break)

in terms of exercise, following something like couch to 5k which is structured may help. Similarly, would meal boxes like Hello Fresh help to take away the mental load of having to plan.

+1 to the Pomodoro method. You can find a timer online. It's the only thing that keeps me going sometimes!

Everyone is going to say ADHD, and yes it could be, but it's also not uncommon to feel like this. It doesn't need to be a pathology. I could have written your post, okay maybe I have undiagnosed ADHD, but 90% of people in January probably threw themselves into a new hobby and have already chucked it. The modern lifestyle is not good for our brains, and distraction is all around us. I'd suggest trying a mindfulness app. I know! 'Try walks and yoga', I was always a cynic but there is a neuroscience evidence based behind it. I find the Healthy Minds app very good.

Agree with this as well - Boots did a “change one thing” campaign a few years ago. Trying to overhaul your life just because it’s the new year will likely fail because you are overloading yourself. Maybe start with “I’ll walk 10000 steps a day” before adding in classes and running may help.

This is me. I have several high priority things I need to be doing but simply can't focus. It's like a part of my brain is switched off. It's always been like this but, like you, I scraped through with good grades. Mostly by making informed guesses about the marking criteria and taking shortcuts, which makes me feel like a fraud. Work is always done at the last minute, often involving all-nighters. It leaves me exhausted. Every evening I go to bed feeling absolutely infuriated with myself and want to cry at how little I've managed to get done and how much of my life I'm wasting. I can procrastinate anything, even picking up a glass of water to have a drink or scratching an itch.

I was referred for an ADHD assessment by a psychiatrist, currently on the waiting list but it's very slow.

Recently started drinking caffeinated coffee again since it's a stimulant, but so far it's only making me focus more intently on procrastination

I could have written this post word for word too!

Its so hard - looking back and I have only realised it today, I never listened in school and luckily I have always been good at building relationships so would quickly ask friends what we had to do- even now work friends will fill in the gaps when I zone out. Or I pull the 'Sorry I was dealing with an urgent email - hence why I zoned out'. I hate it.

Funnily enough - I actually think coffee now has the opposite effect on me it deffo used to help me focus whereas now I feel like it scatters me. I am thinking of trying Lions Mane as a supplement and switching to Matcha.

I will give that app a go and I thought something like mindfulness or running may help me!

Thanks for the response! I realised today looking back I have always had a problem with listening, I used to miss alot at school and even now my husband says he sees my eyes glazing over. I once said this to a friend when I was around 15 and her mum overheard and said 'are your mums nerves shot to shit?' and I said 'no?' and she said its deffo not ADHD so I kind of never brought it up again.

I am under a specialist for my thyroid but maybe worth getting some additional tests!!

Definietly not sleeping enough - DC isn't the best sleeper lol I do have quite an overwhelming life for various reasons so sometimes wonder if its just I have alot going on. I don't get much time for myself, but the time I do get I just sit and mindlessly scroll to tap out almost.

Yes to asking others what we're supposed to be doing And I do that, 'Sorry, I was dealing with an urgent email' a lot. Also, 'Sorry, could you repeat that, you were breaking up'

My friend is raving about Lions Mane at the moment... I might give it a go as at this point I'm desperate.

Do you have a speech-to-text app? I use otter sometimes so I can walk around while dictating something. Walking and nicotine are the only things I've found helpful, although I wouldn't recommend the latter.

This is very much me. Always was daydreamy at school but did ok. Used to have a brilliant memory until pregnancy and then it disappeared. Lack of focus has got worse since the lockdowns. Possibly I burnt during that time but not sure.

I don't know if it's adhd. For me I don't think I have too many other indicators, I don't spend money like mad, I don't particularly lose things or miss appointments and trains etc.

It's not fun though. I should have been madly catching up with doing pieces of work ahead of yearly review this week but it's only really now I'm doing it as deadline approaches!

I have recently started hrt patches which is helping with memory. I also take some nootropic coffees from London Nootropics which I think helps a bit, but too much makes me feel ill.

I'd love to be a person can just focus and DO stuff!

See I dont tend to lose things or miss appointments and trains but then not sure if its because I have now learned to write everything down? I have always been quite forgetful in terms of walk in to a room and forget why I am there but have an insane memory when I am interested in things and can always remember alot of details about people. I really have to watch not getting in to debt though as I find it hard not to spend money on things.

I have heard of the Nootropics might be worth me giving that a try too! Thanks

Honestly, I'm a bit of a convert! I've only been doing it for a month and there are a lot of exercises and learning tasks to get through so I have a way to go, but it's very good and really makes sense to me. They talk about strengthening the executive network of the brain by practising focus, and pulling your mind back from distraction. The executive network is linked to executive function, and ADHD can present as executive dysfunction, so for me in theory strengthening that part of my brain should help reduce my lateness, disorganisation etc. Not a quick fix though

This describes me too. I'm pretty sure I have inattentive ADHD. I get round it by making very detailed timetables and lists of things I have to do, plus a notebook on my desk which I scribble important tasks in (and cross off when done). Otherwise I will have bits of paper everywhere. I have post it note pads upstairs and in the kitchen and in my handbag to transfer to the notebook if I need to make a note in a hurry. People say I'm very organized which is the exact opposite - I've just had to learn how to manage it.

Oh and using the calendar function on my phone is very useful!

Honestly I think a big part of this is that (to use your example of running) thinking about running, researching running techniques, buying running outfits, downloading running apps...etc is all a lot easier (and probably more fun) than getting of the sofa, going out in the cold and actually running!!

I say this as someone that a) finds it hard to focus and b) actually goes running, when I can motivate myself.

At work I've been opening a tab for YouTube and searching ADHD relief music. Helps to focus on writing or whatever.

Read this about satisficers and maximisers - maximisers want to get the best option, but are less happy with their choices gretchenrubin.com/articles/are-you-a-satisficer-or-a-maximizer/

You might also want to look at her stuff about analysis paralysis and being a questioner - gretchenrubin.com/articles/use-the-four-tendencies-to-get-started-especially-when-working-from-home/ - I can be like this too, it's exhausting!

Watching this thread for tips!

I could have written your post, OP. I suspect ADHD is the issue in my case, I've always had the signs but it's never been picked up on because I'm female and mask it "well".