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AIBU?

To think that I am letting myself down if I don't go on the trip when everything is paid for?

17 replies

Avachip · 01/02/2024 23:55

I'm due to go away for a 3 night trip with a bunch of people I've never met before, all sharing rooms together, however the others already know each other and I've been invited along by the person leading the trip who I know from a mum's group I attended a few years ago.

I've been nervous about going but told myself I'd be brave and go and that it would be great to go and enjoy the outdoors with like minded people and the activities on offer. However, both myself and my children have been poorly for around 2 weeks. I got worse on Tuesday/Wednesday and spent 2 days in bed with a fever. I am starting to feel better but haven't left the house all week- very low on energy and my throat is extremely swollen and painful. The GP assures me it is just viral but I am snoring loudly at night through swelling in my throat and waking myself up and also coughing through the night.

I'm now extremely conscious about having to share a room with others who I'll no doubt keep awake at night. Even my husband is sleeping in a different room because of my coughing and snoring. It is too late for me to get a refund and I've paid a small fortune for this trip. I'm also conscious about not being able to do as much from an energy point of view and holding the group back. I'm not sure I'll manage the long walk that is planned for one of the days and there are fitness classes too. I have not prepared or packed a thing as I've been so run down with illness and also worrying about the children who are on antibiotics but are getting better. I don't even feel much like socialising although I am definitely getting better.

Ive no idea what to do.
I feel like I'm wasting a load of money if I don't go but also very anxious that I'm not well enough physically or mentally. Also genuinely concerned that my snoring/heavy breathing/coughing is going to keep everyone awake at night. What would you do?

Part of me really wants a restful weekend free of commitments and being with people I don't know feels it could be hard work. I emailed the group lead yesterday but it is too late to get my place filled.
Would you go?
YABU to feel bad- stay at home and rest
YANBU to feel bad- go on the trip

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

60 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
83%
You are NOT being unreasonable
17%
SpringSparrow · 02/02/2024 00:01

Are You contagious? It doesn’t sound like you should go if there’s a chance you could make the other people ill.

EIIaJ · 02/02/2024 00:02

I wouldn't dream of going and making everyone sick.

Avachip · 02/02/2024 00:04

I've no idea @SpringSparrow but I assume I've caught it from one of the children. We all had coughs/colds last week. I was still recovering, one of them returned to school at the end of last week and now we're all poorly again. One has a chest infection, one has tonsillitis and I can only assume that I have the throat virus which gave them the infections they have.

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 02/02/2024 00:04

I wouldn’t show up sick, actively coughing, planning to share a room with other people. I know some people are casual about illness, but that has got to be unacceptable

Klcak · 02/02/2024 00:06

The money is spent whichever option you take.

Stay home.

You are not letting yourself down, you are responding to the circumstances you find yourself in, which are unfortunate - however this is very common when you have kids.

Nobody will want to share a room with you if you are ill.
Your children and you will benefit from resting at home.

You've done nothing wrong.
Write the money off and forget about it.
Even though it's gutting, you can move on.

Avachip · 02/02/2024 00:09

Your points are really valid @Klcak thank you. I think perhaps because I'm feeling better than I did, I'm questioning my decision to not go. But very true, nobody would want to share a room with someone who's coughing all night.

OP posts:
Musntapplecrumble · 02/02/2024 00:23

Ahh what a shame, sounds like it would have been quite an adventure! Hope you are all fighting fit very soon😷

StartupRepair · 02/02/2024 00:26

It's really bad luck that you are not well but I think you should let the trip go. You don't want to spend the whole time apologising for your symptoms and feeling crap with people you don't know.

slithytoveisascientist · 02/02/2024 07:59

Dont suppose you have any travel insurance which would cover it?

Zanatdy · 02/02/2024 08:01

No I wouldn’t show up if sick and likely to keep people awake coughing, and make others sick. It’s unfortunate but not fair to go and make others unwell

underneaththeash · 02/02/2024 08:01

Avachip · 02/02/2024 00:09

Your points are really valid @Klcak thank you. I think perhaps because I'm feeling better than I did, I'm questioning my decision to not go. But very true, nobody would want to share a room with someone who's coughing all night.

I definitely wouldn't want to share a room with you!

If you don't have travel insurance, could you contact the organiser and explain that you're unwell and see if anyone would like to go in your place (maybe for half price).

Shoxfordian · 02/02/2024 08:03

You're obviously not well, why do you need validation from the Internet to stay home and rest? It's unfortunate timing but you're sick - that's your answer

MarnieMarnie · 02/02/2024 08:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

TheNoodlesIncident · 02/02/2024 08:09

Let them know you're not well and can't go. Someone else might be able to take your place? I'd rather somebody else got the benefit than it was totally wasted (if you can't get any money back).

Thisisthedawningoftheageofaquarius · 02/02/2024 08:09

Had a really nasty bug two weeks ago and even when I was over the worst my energy wasn’t back - I wasn’t able to go for a walk for at least another week

I think you need to stay home and mind yourself! Take care

Avachip · 02/02/2024 08:15

Thanks all. I think because I'm feeling much better than I was on Tuesday/Wednesday I'm finding it difficult to ascertain whether I am recovered enough to still go. I wouldn't know until I got there though and tried the activities as I haven't done a lot over the last week. I felt ok yesterday afternoon and managed to potter around the house absolutely fine but I woke coughing and snoring a couple of times last night still.

OP posts:
EIIaJ · 02/02/2024 08:34

I wouldn't thank you for it if I was one of the other people there.

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