Husband out again

[2amclubx]

I'm slightly tried off all my husbands "nights out" away again tomorrow this is most weekends now fit for nothing next day we have a almost 1
Year old and I do the majority as I'm a sahm
He does work hard but sometimes
It feels like his life didn't change the mine did he still goes
Away to football nights out work ect Nf doesn't bat an eye lid about childcare cause he knows I'm gonna be here we have no family close by my mum is 1 hour and a half away. ds is going through a phase to offf
Only wanting me so when I bring this up to him I get "oh he only wants you" "I've been working all week" well our 1 year old is teething it's bloody hard I'd love a break but unfortunately no can do he just doesn't see it and it's gettting in my nerves. Anyway sorry for the rant but he's went to bed and I'm just sitting here thinking 🤦‍♀️

What job were you doing before you gave birth?

how many times have you been out? And why arent you going out more?

Hairdresser we have no family close by he makes a lot more than I do so was the obvious option I stay at hime.
I dunno really my friends aren't really
Going out type every once and a while 3 times a year maybe but we do go for coffee ect but baby is with me. I guess I'll have to maybe start prioritising me but it's kinda hard when he's a social butterfly

Saturday morning get up early, tell him you're going out.
And go

I'm really sorry for you @2amclubx but sadly this is the story 90% of mothers will tell. Their partner/DH's life didn't change remotely when the baby came along, but hers was upended. And HE is resentful of getting up through the night as it's HER job. No matter what she does or says though it makes no difference/looking after baby/stepping up as a parent, because you are the mummy - and mummies are meant to sacrifice everything for their child(ren.) And the poor menz work so hard in their big important job.

I am sure a bunch of people will come along now and say 'not my Nigel' but it IS like this for most!

I wouldn't change being a mum in the slightest but some me tjme wouldn't go amiss.
I agree with the nights he doesn't get up cause he Works

Op you need to involve him more.

He can be tired from work but you are tired as well, he needs to understand this.

Go out with your friends, make time for yourself.

Let him deal with your child.
He will do it his own way, but that's okay, there's two of you- each of you deserve to have free time.

I do have anxiety as the twice I went out at night DS never slept and was still up screaming at 1am he just couldn't get him to settle this was months ago and I've been scared to try again think husband is scared too but I do deserve time
To myself x

Go out more not less, so they get used to it.

You really shouldn’t have to force your DH to spend time with his own child. He’s working all week and choses to spend his free time with his mates instead of bonding with his child and giving his wife a break. I am all for everyone having a bit of me time but he’s making himself clear, you and your child are not his priority.

I suspect if you start upping and leaving him to look after his own child (god forbid) he will see it as doing you a favour and use it as an excuse to justify another weekend away. Is this really how you want to live?

Talk to him about how you feel. If nothing changes, I’d be upping sticks and going to stay with mum.

If you don't want to do nights out then do early morning plans like exercise classes or hair - if he knows he's looking after a baby at 8am he might come home earlier!

Your husband needs to grow up. Parenting should be a joint venture. It's not fair of him to be going out so much, he should cut down.

You have a marketable skill which will be useful when your child is older and you can return to work. Keep your hand in with friends as models in the meantime. We will always need good hairdressers.