My Opinion Doesn't Matter?

[Littledear1]

So my DP has a dream of starting his own haulage company. He is currently a truck driver doing 50 hours a week. We rent, have little savings, I'm a SAHM my car is broken and I'm left at home with my little one most of the time as he has the other car for getting to work. He is very impulsive and saving is very poor as he will just decide he wants something and buy it. No matter what I say he doesn't listen.

Well last week he decided he had found a HGV he wanted to buy. Went to see it without asking my opinion. Applied for a loan. The truck is older with a lot of mileage on it and I have concerns as we have a lot to do before we can even consider starting a business including needing a lot of savings to have for emergency and for haulage license etc. I didn't think the loan would be approved but it was and now he has committed to buying this truck. I have tried to reason with him that if we waited saved more over another few months or year then maybe he could get a larger loan to cover a better truck and some of the other expenses but he said no.

He's just going ahead doing it without my opinion or permission. This truck is going to be sat at the side of our rented accommodation for probably 1.5-2 years getting mouldy etc while I have no car and we are paying every month for it. Plus by the time we finally do start will this truck have any value at all if we need to sell? He simply will not listen to me and is going ahead with his plan regardless of my opinion.

I see myself as a realist. He thinks I'm killing his dream. Am I being unreasonable?

You're not married and he's bad with money. You need to get a job and your own income. You are so vulnerable at the moment.

You're not married, he can do what he wants with his money. To be brutal, you're not his problem or his concern.

Op mumsnet is weird at night. Clearly in the real world being unmarried doesn't mean that it's OK for your partner to view you as not his concernm

If they separated, she wouldn't be entitled to anything from him other than CMS - none of his savings or pension. She'd be a single, jobless, parent. You see so many posts on here from women who've become unstuck by being a SAHM whilst not married and then split with the father of their child. I've totally lost sympathy with them.

Never be an unemployed SAHM to a boyfriend. You have zero rights and are basically entirely at his mercy financially. Leave him, get a job, and don’t look back.

You have put yourself in a position where you are tied to him financially he earns all the money so it is his money

People can go 'yeah but morally blah blah blah'

You need your own money and I can't believe you need to be told that

He's not a good Dad when he puts your family in financial difficulties like this.

financially he's an idiot & id be taking the emotionally difficult step of getting a divorce, and not allowing him to take me & the kids down with him.

if he wants to act independently then I'd be gone. Or rather he would.

In a healthy partnership, people discuss big purchases.

You are in far too vulnerable a position to be a sahm. You need to get back to work.

OP mentions Euros in the thread, so not sure she’d even be entitled to that. Where are you OP?

You're not married, you don't work and your partner is irresponsible with money. YABU by staying in this situation.