To be sick of one person dominating the conversation and going on about themselves constantly?

[TheSalesGirl]

I have a group of friends that I usually meet up with a couple of times a month. We usually go for coffee, lunch or sometimes out in the evening. A couple of the women in the group I'm close friends with, but am also friends with all the others, and get on with them all.

However, one woman from the group has always been self centred but in the last few years she's got worse. It's got to the stage now where our meet ups are her talking about herself, dominating the conversation, talking about herself, and also making put downs. She's also quite loud voiced so everyone seems to take notice of her and stops talking when she starts going on, and then she goes on for ages.

Yesterday we met for coffee and one friend started talking about a holiday she's going on, and then the dominating woman instantly cut in about a holiday she's booked, and then that was it. It was her show.

She's also one of those who knows everyone, claims everyone that anyone knows is a friend of hers, knows everything, has done everything better than everyone else....! She also is always claiming different men fancy her and are messaging her, or looking at her, despite having been married for years herself!

I do try to ask other people questions whilst we are there, but when they start replying she jumps in again and takes over about herself.

It fucking infuriates me. I know if it pisses me off that much I should just stop going to meet them all but I do want to see the others and don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face.

You have to be Louder than them.

This friendship group is on the fast track to break down as it is, so I would start interrupting her when she cuts in and say "Well anyway, Lucy you were talking about your holiday before you were interrupted" I'd keep doing it. She'll either take it badly and won't come anymore or she'll learn to behave properly.

Must admit, I have a friend like this. I want to tell her something that happened, could be about my work, my son, been out shopping, holiday, anything, she only needs me to say a few words & she cuts right in!

So then while she's telling me her story I'm trying to remember mine so I don't lose that thought & when I do get a chance (by this time she's on a different topic) I bring it back to what I wanted to say right at the beginning! Then it's kind of out of context cos she was talking about something else but I do it every time so then she has to listen.

It's frustrating cos you're excited, you're meeting your friends, got an interesting story to share & someone cuts in, feels like your balloon has just deflated.

She sounds awful and exactly like a woman I used to work with. No one can stand her!

I would have no problem telling her to zip it or leave her out of meet ups

Mum used to do this. With her I would snap my mouth shut as soon as she started talking over me, look directly at her, wait until she (finally ran dry, then pick up where I’d stopped. BUT that only worked because we were generally just the two of us or in a small group.

It didn’t “cure” her but it did tone her down a bit.

However, I have a friend who is impervious to this technique and to all others I’ve tried. She is naturally garrulous but lives alone and WFH a lot so often has a lot to spill. She’s someone it’s difficult to avoid, so I just go very quiet and let her run and minimise or manage my time with her.

I think @FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar has nailed it - I don't think it would cause any offence but it would have the desired effect. I might use that myself going forward!

How come she gets to decide when & where and the rest of you just go along with it?

Do you ever see any of the others apart from at these get-togethers?

Maybe sarcastically put your hand up like in school....

I work with a woman like that. No word of a lie, she and I were once in a one to one Skype call (camera off) and she droned on for 10 minutes straight barely pausing for breath. I couldn’t get a word in edgeways to tell her I was bursting for the loo so took off my headset and went! Luckily my bathroom is right next to my home office and I was less than a minute but she never even realised I wasn’t there 😂😂

I actually do this ☝🏻

I know someone like this and if you manage to get a word in edgeways to try to change the conversation she ignores you and just carries on with her monologue . I think nearly every group of people especially in a workplace setting has someone like this and in my experience they’re normally always tedious bores with no spark about them at all .

The conversation monopolised in my group is very sparky and articulate, she always notices details or compliments other people on a new hair style or wearing a nice jacket for example....but once everyone has arrived and meal is ordered, then its time to talk about her/her kids/husband/dog/house/garden/latest holiday etc!

Yes, the one in our group is attractive and sounds like she has a very busy full life outside of the group its just she always dominates the conversation and occasionally you think she’s actually admiring Marys dress just because she likes it, asking Carol about her holidays because she is genuinely interested, or asking Janet how her ill husband is because she cares. Yet really they are all lucky if they can get between one and three words out before she is on about the all the new clothes she is going to buy or has bought, the new outfit she needs for this that and the other event (as she is so busy) or so she can talk about all of her holiday plans or how ill her sisters boyfriends brother is and what a really awful hard time she is having as she is supporting her sister. When the reality is she is lucky if she sees her sister more than once a week and her sister hasn’t even seen her boyfriends brother for over 10 years yet she talks endlessly about how hard she is finding it all as she is supporting her sister and its so hard on her?!? Yet poor Janet’s husband is terminally ill and she barely got a word in yet she has no family support. So even though it’s a totally different ball game but that never even registers with the conversation dominator.

Ugh just don’t invite her. She’s not a friend, you don’t like her, be done with her.

this,

for you or whoever was talking, "oh before X interrupted you, you were saying, carry ion, what did you say...

that's kind of stuff, everytime she interrupts, take the conversation back to the person who was interrupted.

making it blatantly obvious you may want to add in the odd "You're always interrupting, it's very rude, she hadn't finished talking"

another good one is "no one can hear X speak when you interrupt "