Rude, but justified??

[Suninmyeyes12]

What are your thoughts on this?

It takes a lot for me to lose my rag with people btw and I like to think I'm a friendly polite person 99% of the time but my neighbour has really pushed my buttons tonight.

I received someone else's parcel a few days ago (the persons name but my address on there) and I didn’t know who it was so put it to one side and thought they'd either collect it or order a replacement. Just as a side note, there are 45 houses on my street so I really didn’t have time to go door to door to find out who it was.

Anyway, someone came yesterday and a couple of times today, this morning and then again just after lunch. I work from home and have meetings throughout the day and it just so happens I was on a call on both occasions so couldn't answer the door. There is a letterbox so they could have easily left a note if it was important though. It turns out it was my elderly neighbour. She came again just as I’d finished work this evening and made a point of saying “oh I’ve knocked on a few times but you haven’t answered, Emily (other neighbour) has asked me to pick up the parcel”.

I reminded her (I’ve told her before) that I work from home and can’t always answer if I’m in a meeting, and it’s probably best to leave a note in future if I don’t respond. She then responded with “I’m sure you could have taken 5 minutes to answer” and asked me why had I not attempted to bring the parcel around to the neighbour in the first place!!! By this point I was already pissed off but politely told her that I had no idea who the neighbour was and suggested she check the address properly in future before ordering parcels, and closed the door. She walked off and that was that but I feel a bit guilty now.

A part of me feels awful for behaving that way, but was I justified? Why do people think if you work from you can just stop everything that you’re doing to attend to them? Surely she wouldn’t just walk into someone’s office and expect everything to grind to a halt for her?! We’ve always got on since I moved here 3 years ago so I do feel bad now but I also think she was rude and I just reacted!

Leave a note saying you don't take parcels in....

YANBU. Hopefully she's got the message now that WFH actually means working and not necessarily being available.

You were perfectly justified in what you said.

Do you think it was addressed to you as they are aware you work from home? Get a locker for your deliveries

It had the OP's address on it.

Op did they just abandon it unsigned for?

How did they know you had the parcel?

People are always getting up from meetings I am in to answer the door, nobody minds…

The parcel had my address on so she entered it incorrectly/selected the wrong one.

I honestly don't mind taking parcels in for neighbours, that's not a problem but the fact she was arsey because I couldn't answer and expected me to stop working for her pissed me off. If she had left a note explaining I would have taken it around to her afterwards.

Sounds like it was delivered to the OP on purpose. And the neighbour knew where to collect it on behalf of the other neighbour. This could be the beginning of a cheeky fucker thread.

Gets 🍿

YANBU. And it doesn't sound particularly rude to me, either. Although I understand your tone may have been snippy / exasperated.

I bet she'd have something to say if she was on the phone to British Gas or her GP and they said 'hang on Mrs Smith - my neighbour's at the door so I need to see what they want'!

@Malarandras that's great for you but I think it's rude and wouldn't leave an important meeting (with the company directors, head of business, HR, my manager etc) without a good reason

Depends on the meeting surely

Casual team chat absolutely. Presenting to the C-suite probably not

@WillYouPutYourCoatOn I think the company told her when she reported it hadn't been delivered

Nah she was rude. The "surely you could have spared 5 mins to answer the door" would have really fucked me off. You're at work, end of. It really shows a lack of respect for your time and work imo.

I don't think that was rude. I would have been annoyed too. And I would have been properly rude knowing myself.

I think if she has a lot of form for disturbing you during meetings and not getting it, you are maybe ok to be a bit snippy. But it’s pretty common for people to just not understand that working from home is exactly that, perhaps especially if it’s a way of working they would never have encountered.

I do think that the traditional tinkly laugh would be the better approach here - unremittingly cheerful and brisk “of course I can’t answer when I’m in a meeting, it would be terribly rude” big smile “do just pop a note through if it’s urgent”. And then “I’m sure I’d have dropped it round to her if I had any idea where she lived!”

If I went to a neighbouring house to collect a package, I wouldn't ALSO carry pen, paper and tape on the off chance they weren't in and I'd need to leave a note!

I do think many people still don't understand working from home though! My MIL be one of them 😡

Your options are to not take in packages, have a note on your door about working from home and not to call between xhrs-xhrs' or leave it.

Oh very rude of your neighbour and her friend!

Some people can answer the door when WFH, some can't.

I can't, in fact I need total quiet as well and even told the builder to zip it and stay quiet whilst I took a call this afternoon (which he did, whilst giggling at the difference in my 'work phone' manner and my normal sweary every day manner!) - I absolutely cannot answer the door whilst on a call!

She knows now! I don't think you were rude in pointing out you can't answer the door sometimes, just factual! And if she is addressing things to you intentionally because you're at home and she thinks you can be her mail collection point, you've marked her card politely but firmly!

I understand what you mean and would agree if it was just the once or twice, but she came round on 4 occasions (once yesterday and 3 times today) before I was able to answer so common sense might have been to leave a note explaining what she wanted, that's all I'm saying. She also knows I work from work so yes I'm at home during the day but doesn't mean I can answer...

Then you go back home and write a note!

And the parcel was addressed to OP’s house so it’s understandable she accepted it.

Just as a side note and I probably should have mentioned this in my op sorry. I didn't actually accept the parcel. It was small and put through the door so I didn't get the chance to hand it back to the postie