Or just incompetence…. A local call flashes up on my phone at 3.45pm. I’m in a meeting but suddenly clock it’s just after school time so it may be important so interrupt meeting to take it. Sure enough, no one has collected DD. It was my day to be in the office which means DH is wfh and does the run at both ends of the day (like I do for 3 days of the week). I look at text exchange from DH earlier that day. He asked ‘does DD have clubs today?’ And my response was ‘NO, never on a Wednesday’. I text and call him - no reply.
School tells me they will put DD into after school club and charge us. More than fair enough. He decides to make the most of the after school care and collects her at 5pm. Blames ME for not being ‘clear enough’ as I ‘should have replied with clear instructions such as: ‘You have to collect her at 3.30’. Tonight, 10.15pm he comes out with: ‘can you send me all our income details as I have to finish my return’. This is the same tax return that I have been warning him about for the last six weeks.
He did not get act together to use her. So now it’s down to me to sort it out… (we have shared income outside of our jobs that need to split in a particular way) and dig out my spreadsheet but of course laptop is not working and gmail on phone is a shit filing cabinet. He accuses me of having dementia as I cannot immediately locate said file and he does it in seconds. I want to throw something at his head especially as I’m at the stage in life when I can look at things 100 times and not find them.
Oh and I also have to book more after school care as his important man job means he cannot collect DD on Friday (I’m in the office). I’ve made social plans for the weekend, paid music teachers, put all events in family calendar and formed a shopping list for a school trip. We have 103 charity events for one of the schools in the coming month and parents’ socials etc that I have to organise (class rep).
I am being worn down by admin. I have always struggled with inattentiveness and executive function but masked it through school by having flashes of brilliance/acing exams. I am now fuming that my professional life and income have been stymied by always having to be the one to just remember life admin shit which I find overwhelmingly zaps my energy meanwhile men like him can keep and progress in their important jobs, getting paid more for their commitment.
And if you hadn’t guessed I am perimenopausal and this is making me irrationally angry. I have ordered a hormone test but have not had time to
do this or other self care things (I hate that term) as I’m too drained trying to adult but am behaving like a resentful teen kicking out about it.
I am now behind with work… and need to be in an inspired head space to do the semi creative thinking to do it well.
I have removed the vote but just needed to rant. Thank you. Feels better already. Thank fuck dry January is nearly over.