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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed when I find out my niece has been left out of a party invite by a mother who then teased her about it?

31 replies

singingmum · 20/03/2008 21:06

My mother takes my niece to and from nursery each day.My niece has probs(suspected form of mild autism)
So I can understand other parents being wary, but, the mother in question was horrid to my niece.
Let me be clearer.
She was giving an invite to my niece's friend but did so in front of my niece.While explaining to the other little girl what was happening at the party she proceeded to look at my niece in a way that was taunting and cruel(my mum thought at first she was talking to the other child but then saw her looking at my niece)She had a sickly cruel smile and kept saying how child x was going to have a lovely time wasn't she repeatedly.
If I had been there I think I'd have gone crazy.My mum handled it by taking my niece out of the situation.My niece was extremely quiet(unusual for her as is v.talkative to her friends and family)
What kind of person does this.Addmitedly my mum knew she was strange but to take pleasure in upsetting a 4 yr old is dis graceful.
Would it make you want to go to the school and give said woman a piece of your mind or am I being to touchy.This same woman has been rather rude in the past(interuppting my mother when conversing with others at the gate etc.,usual clicky stuff)but surely this is just sick.Isn't it?

OP posts:
Aitch · 20/03/2008 21:07

she's a cow. avoid avoid avoid. how old is she? 12?

Original poster
singingmum · 20/03/2008 21:08

Am thinking maybe she is to do this.

OP posts:
singyswife · 20/03/2008 21:09

Yeah I would be tempted to hit her a slap the next time I seen her, what a cow.

madamez · 20/03/2008 21:09

SOunds like the mother has something a bit wrong with her. It's not normal behaviour to be deliberately spiteful to a small child, after al - most parents who are bigots not too good around anything out of their comfort zone will be all shifty and embarrassed about excluding the children they don't want to invite.

Jane68 · 20/03/2008 21:09

Yup sicko, I don't think you would be out of order collaring her and having a pop about it either. She will deny it but I bet it shocks her, nasty cruel bully.

S1ur · 20/03/2008 21:09

Think your mum did the right thing.

I have no idea about this woman, possibly, maybe she wasn't sneering so much as looking embarrassed at neice?? (deperately grasping at straws!)

She sounds like a toad otherwise.

waffletrees · 20/03/2008 21:11

She is a cow! Your daughter is better off not going - you wouldn't want her being in the same room as her. BITCH.

Original poster
singingmum · 20/03/2008 21:17

She has done other things apparently.She seems to like being centre of attention apparently but this was the worst thing so far.Bad enough that they treat my niece diff because of her probs but this was sick in my opinion.
There seems to be a lot of it at the nursery my niece attends at mo but am hoping she will move to new school soon as this is horrid.She has enough probs the poor little thing without this.She is quite intelligent but because of her probs people don't tend to see that and treat her so badly.Also personally she has been through enough.
Just can't even begin to comprehend this kind of behaviour from an adult.
Worse thing is we can't let her dad know because he'll lose his rag and her mum is mentally unwell so no good telling her to much.Just feels so unfair

OP posts:
Jane68 · 20/03/2008 21:21

I'd be quite tempted to set the Dad on the horrible cow. Being mean to a kid means open season to me.

WallOfSilence · 20/03/2008 21:27

Realistically, your niece is better off away from people like that!!

PABLOP · 20/03/2008 21:32

what a bullying bitch!! your mum did the right thing. However I would go to school when she is dropping her child off then follow her out of the school gates and ask her what she was playing at, she'd probably deny it.
Most upset for your little niece

Shame we couldn't have a mumsnet meet at the gate and pull her hair and push the horrible woman in a puddle

minouminou · 20/03/2008 21:34

Fuck.
Her.

harpsichordcarrier · 20/03/2008 21:35

jesus christ that's appalling

Flubdub · 20/03/2008 21:37

Well presuming that it wasnt mis-interpreted - What a bitch!!! What kind of person torments a 4 year old like that?

peanutbear · 20/03/2008 21:38

Actually I would want to hit her around the head with a shitty stick

I hate playgrounds more as a mother than I ever did as a child

the woman is a nasty cow

3NAB · 20/03/2008 21:38

someone needs to torment her

peanutbear · 20/03/2008 21:39

Actually this has made me really cross

Original poster
singingmum · 20/03/2008 21:44

Know how you feel.Only found out by accident my mum has been dealing with all this without telling anyone till now.
Just needed to rant a bit as,as I say,my niece has been through enough.
Just glad I'm not the only one who feels angry at this.
Wish lea would do their job and move her.Fingers crossed

OP posts:
windygalestoday · 20/03/2008 21:46

ohhh im livid what a bitch .....dont u know anyone with a mean evil dog that bites HARD?

dizzychixies · 20/03/2008 21:50

I would be furious, how dare she bully a young child in that way

sad sad woman and am very obo your neice

Taweret · 20/03/2008 21:51

This nasty woman must have such low self-esteem - having to be unpleasant to a 4 year old in order to make herself feel superior.

Her behaviour is despicable, and your niece is better off away from her.

How dreadfully upsetting though, poor little girl.

Janni · 20/03/2008 21:54

agree with Madamez

madamez · 20/03/2008 22:09

Tempting as it is (and if anyone was mean to my kid I would want to slam their face into a wall) to go after this woman, I'm not sure it would do any good. She must have some sort of psychological problems to be that nasty to a small child. Your poor little niece. All her family can really do is love her lots and teach her that while some people are nasty, it is their problem and they are mean and stupid and she is much better than them.

girlfrommars · 20/03/2008 22:18

Foul woman.
My mother removed my sister (aged 5) from the local primary school when a mother invited all the children in the class to her child's birthday party except for my sister. The mother in question was also a teacher at the school, and her mother was the headmistress. She came into the classroom to hand out the invitations.
Some people are just nasty and spiteful.
In my family's case it was because my sister had a different accent. When people are looking for a target they'll use any difference as an excuse.

I'm sorry your niece has to face this. At least your mother has shared this with you so she's not dealing with it alone

jesuswhatnext · 20/03/2008 22:21

what a bloody old bitch!!!

you sound like a nice aunty, can you take your niece for a treat while the party is going on?

your poor mum!!! she showed great restraint and above average class - my mum wuold decked the cow!

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