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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it possible I come across as rude doing this?

11 replies

tiredmama23 · 31/01/2024 19:08

When I'm leaving the office one of my colleagues who finishes at the same time always says she will walk out with me to the car (it's quite a trek out of the building and the car park is huge so can take a while). However, she tends to take her time a bit, often stopping to go the loo first, sometimes caught up in conversations as she's walking out of the building etc, whereas I'm in a mindset of being on a bit of a mission to get out because I have a toddler to collect from nursery and then need to start the battle through the traffic home to get my child home and bathed etc (if it's relevant my colleague has no kids to collect after work).

It really frustrates me being slowed down so instead of hanging around waiting, I've started to say "I'm really sorry but I need to go for the nursery pick up" and then just walking off quickly. Is it possible I come across as rude saying this? I really don't mean to come across that way and I actually really like my colleague and enjoy chatting to her as we walk out (as long as it's speedy walking 😂), but I honestly haven't got the luxury of time for hanging around at the end of the working day when I have a child to collect and get home and sorted etc.

I'm now starting to worry though that I come across as rude unintentionally. So MN - would you think I was rude for doing this if I was your colleague?

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 31/01/2024 19:10

She might think you’re rude, but I’d be doing exactly the same as you.

EveryKneeShallBow · 31/01/2024 19:10

I wouldn’t think ou were rude, but I’ve done the rush to collect. I’d just say what you’ve put here. I like your company, but don’t have the luxury to take my time.

NewJobNewMeNewLife · 31/01/2024 19:11

Just explain to her like you’ve written here. Communicate with her and it’ll avoid a misunderstanding.

mynameiscalypso · 31/01/2024 19:11

I do this too when leaving the office. Even if a couple of colleagues are getting ready to leave, I tend to just do a cheery wave and quickly leave saying I need to pick DS up. You've then got to keep walking fast enough so nobody catches up with you!

hellsBells246 · 31/01/2024 19:11

Just explain to her what you have said here! That's fine.

Can't you talk to her at lunch time instead?

AllEars112232 · 31/01/2024 19:11

Seems reasonable to me. I wouldn't take that as your being rude.
But if it was me, I'd probably just say to her one day that I hope she's doesn't think I'm being rude by dashing off, and explain how your evening goes the second you leave the office.
I'm betting she'll be fine with it.

Cuppachuchu · 31/01/2024 19:12

Sorry, got to dash, see you tomorrow. Then dash. Easy. Not rude.

crew2022 · 31/01/2024 19:13

As others have said explain you're in a rush. Offer to grab a coffee together if a) you want to and b) you think your colleague might appreciate a chat

tiredmama23 · 31/01/2024 19:13

That's validating, thank you!

Yes we do chat at lunch as well but I guess it's just nice to chat on the way out too. I have no issue with the chatting as I say, I do like her. It's just the anxiety of needing to get out and to nursery by a certain time that takes over and I need to just march out on a mission! 😂

OP posts:
Clarinet1 · 31/01/2024 19:14

No, I don’t think you’re being rude; You’re just making clear you haven’t got time to dawdle and, if your colleague can’t see that she is showing a lack of understanding of your circumstances! If she takes it up with you just state the facts that you only have X minutes to get to the nursery. OTOH if she is child free she may not realise the demands of being a working parent so enlighten her!

tiredmama23 · 31/01/2024 19:14

I will definitely explain to her though as I have here, I'm sure she will understand. ☺️

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