I'm 35(F), never married and have no kids. I've always lived close-ish to my parents, max 30 minutes away, apart from when I went to university - around six hours from them - for three years. For context, my much younger brother is married with a kid and lives very close to my mum and dad, his choice.
I am an adventerous traveler by heart but I've always felt very stifled by my mother in particular. She has always drummed into me how important it is to live close to my family and has a big fear of me travelling. At 18, my dream was to do a gap year in America but my mum discouraged me from doing so, highlighting cost as a factor. I later discovered an uncle was prepared to fund my gap year as long as I went to University, but he went through my mum to offer it, and she never relayed this information to me.
I moved back in after uni at 21, got a job, and moved out at 23 to a town 20/30 minutes drive from my mum and dad's house. My mum wasn't very happy as it was "so far away" but I had the absolute best years of my life living with friends and don't regret it for a second.
Over the years, I'd expressed an interest in buying a house but there's no way I could afford to live near my parents and regardless, I don't love the town they live in enough to buy a place there. It has really gone downhill since they first bought their house there over 30 years ago. My friends are scattered around. I once expressed an interest in living somewhere 45mins/1h drive from my mum and dad and my mother shrieked that it was "too far" and "you might have a few friends who live near there now, but I'll be the only one there for you when it really matters." I didn't buy a place in the end, stayed renting, house prices went crazy and I got priced out of the market.
Now at 35, I've moved in with my boyfriend. He already owned a house around 2 hours drive from them. My mum wasn't very happy: in fact, I'd go as far as to say she was very disappointed in me, although she did understand that I couldn't help where he'd chosen to buy his house before we met.
We've now sold that house and plan to move around 3/4 hours away. I've told my mum it's temporary and she keeps saying: "Great, then you can finally move back this part of town!" and when I've told her I don't really like that area, she gets angry, reminding me how important it is to live close to family, etc. Sometimes she uses the guilt thing: "fine, live where you want, you'll see how much you need us and how much you'll regret that when we're dead".
One thing I've not told my parents is that our move is likely to be permanent. If not, the minimum we'll end up living from their house is maybe 90 mins away. My mum doesn't even like that I'm moving temporarily, let alone permanently.
My parents are older and have a few health issues, but whenever they've needed me, i've been there without a fuss and even though the new distance will make it harder for me to go instantly, I will absolutely be there if/when needed.
I am so excited about the move and finally getting to experience a different town in adulthood, but I feel so guilty for purusing my dreams because my mum tells me I should stay living there..
AITA? Should a child live close to their parents purely because their parents live there?