Workplace drama

[pinksheetss]

Will try not to make this too long but looking for some advice on how to approach

A couple of months back I took on a new job, essentially what I had been doing for years but in a senior role. The interview was great and the company really sold to me, seemed a fantastic and welcoming place to work.

Started with my new team, there was a lead above me and then two people in the team below me. Of course I had some learning to do as it's a new company/project and different procedures to what I work with prior, usual stuff really.

It was made quite obvious to me through passing comments and conversations I'd overhear that they wanted one of the girls below me to be the senior in the team. She's capable and knows the role well but for reasons not known to me (and rightly so that I shouldn't be told) she wasn't given the role and I was hired.

I'd overhear conversations between this person and the lead (had right in front of me/over me at the desks so not ease dropping completely, hard not to hear) about this person being promoted to senior soon and going through the steps to do so. Internally I worried a bit for myself and my role and thought I'd be let go as soon as this person was promoted as she knew more about the project than me.

A couple of months after I joined the Lead was paid off. Contractor role and the workload reduced so the company needed to make some cut. I'm staff, so contractor went first, again could sense the animosity and almost made out like it was my fault and I had some kind of involvement with it.

They've never really taught me the role too much, and I can see why the girls below me would be annoyed at having to show me stuff for the project when I'm senior to them. I have always felt set up for failure and like I'm not told some details so that I do a task wrong and then it's perhaps looking like I can't do the senior role.

My boss above me has been looking into project and making some changes, just with policies and has asked the girls to put some stuff through me which seems to have caused an issue
(Not to drip feed either but long story basically the two below me don't respect or like the lead above me either). The girl who wanted the senior role has messaged me on teams today to let me know they passed some tasks on to me and that they won't be having their work run past me and don't believe I have the experience to be in the role.
Completely blind sighted and I feel terrible after it. Trying to get my head right to continue on with work today but it's knocked me right back

I'm just not sure how to proceed. I really need the job and can't afford to leave but the thought of going into the office and having this animosity is terrible.

Any advice before I crack up?

I don't work in an office, but that sounds really hard OP so am commenting to bump your post.

What I would say is you need to stop questioning why you got that role. The fact is you did, so if the people below you have an issue following instructions from their boss' boss, they need to take it up with them.

You need to screenshot that comment from the girl undermining you and you need to go straight to HR. Regardless of the situation that created it, that was unprofessional and tantamount to workplace bullying.

Find your big girl pants and stop being a doormat.

You also need to speak to your line manager and ask for appropriate training for the role.

And please remember you didn't steal that job. You were given it over her for a reason. Quite possibly her attitude or inability to work as a team.

You need to start getting angry, not upset.

This. Where is the management in this situation? Get onto your manager and send them that email. She wanted the job, she feels overqualified for it over you and she's now jealous and acting out. Don't stand for it.

Stamp in this asap or it will escalate. Plus you will send an out you are not a pushover. Don't worry about being disliked. You're there to do a job not make friends.

Do you line manage this person?

Also stop referring to them as girls. They're grown women.

I'd ask for a review meeting with your manager.

Explain the lack of training and the undermining.

You're unsettled because of the staff and line management changes since you joined.

Can you have regular catch ups with your manager. Is there a mentoring scheme?

And yes, don't refer to your colleagues as girls. It's disrespectful.

I'll apologise on the 'girls' front and just confirm that's never something I have referred to them as in person or other than this post. I'm in a sports team and we all (despite being grown women) refer to each other as that so it's a slip of the tongue there but appreciate it's not respectful in this situation and thank you for pointing that out

I've let my line manager and HR know this afternoon and I have some good support from line manager but unsure what will come of this. I've been a bit taken aback by it but the posters who have said to stamp it out and put on big girl pants are right. I do think it would be a different situation if it were in person. I want to approach it the right way and make sure I'm not treated as a doormat but also without flying off the handle or saying something I would regret.

Hoping a good nights sleep and back to it tomorrow will help clear the head for going forward

I'm going against the grain here they sound frustrated and by your own admission they are more experienced especially woman in question who didnt get the job. I suspect having to take time away to help train you instead of doing the work themselves.

They are more experienced in the project - not the role overall.

I can understand it's difficult but I'm not entirely sure the comments and animosity towards me are justified.

I'm what way are you less experienced?

You genuinely have great experience in that role, you are just in your induction period so still learning about the organisation and internal processes etc. that's normal.

You should be pushing your manager for a proper induction programme to get you up to speed on these.

And go to your manager with a plan for managing this woman's conduct - you need to quickly gain control over this.

I assume you don’t manage these women?

then speaking to their manager about them refusing to do as instructed is the way to go, and the manager needs to deal with it.

personally id respond and say very happy to support and review as requested by x (line manager) on the fantastic work you guys do , any concerns please redirect back to x, or happy to take rhe discussion for you . And then id add the manager to the convo

If someone on my team goes for a promotion that I have influence on and I don’t think it’s right for whatever reason. I have a chat with them beforehand.

in the US and hiring practices are different, But I’v essentially taken people out of the race before they got started. The last time the person would be moving from an individual contributor role to a management position and I knew there was a hiring freeze at the time so he would be short handed. It would have been a situation that would have stressed a veteran. It would have burned him out before he got out of the gate.

We spoke. I gave my reasons, I workEd with him on a plan to gain more experience and transferred that plan the the manager I eventually hired.

On the flip side I’ve also stood back when one of my team members went for a promotion in another team, even if I thought they weren’t ready. If some other manger thinks they are a good fit, I’m not going to stand in their way.

Your post didn’t really make it clear the situation that you were on the panel (if it was your team or someone else’s). But at the end of the day you need to be prepared to face your decisions and the fallout from them.