To think a sexless relationship can work long term

[sweetieplease]

Relatively sexless. Perhaps twice per year ? Even if baby has been conceived ?
One partner disinterested in sex generally and the other has a strong libido.

Yes you're quite right, for some that is an all too regular reality. I'm very glad that so far I have a relationship which doesn't feel like any of those things. We encourage and support each other, have hobbies outside of this house etc. Small children feel far more demanding than marriage 😂

My point of view is shaped by my past though. I was in an abusive relationship for years. The sex could be incredible when consensual, a lot of passion, but at times life was scary and genuinely terrible. In comparison to that time which really was stifling, restrictive and unbearable the compromises in my current situation feel tiny and totally worth it. Sure there's less sex than I'd like but I feel safe, loved and content. Wouldn't swap it.

Mind you you've said 'no sex' rather than less. Feel like that would be a different chat all together!! If one partner wanted celibacy and the other had a high libido then yes I'd agree it would be totally doomed. In the OP's example of twice a year that would be really difficult to accept.

No, definitely not.

Depends on the quality of the sex, surely? If your partner is selfish in bed, sex may well be just yet another chore rather than a perk.

Only if you both have low sex drives. DH and I rarely have sex, and have only been having more as we’re TTC.

It’s something we often check in with each other about, to each make sure the other isn’t feeling frustrated, as we both used to be total shaggers! But we just don’t feel the need in this phase of our relationship, maybe it will increase in future, who knows.

We’re also very physically affectionate - always hugging and kissing, which I think is a large part of physical intimacy. If you have no physical contact, that’s a bit more like living with a flatmate in my opinion.

It might work but not based on love and respect but more being convenient and often the higher drive getting their needs met by someone else. Unless it’s been a proper agreed conversation where you are both genuinely happy with no sex but seems unlikely with a high libido.

Even when a much loved wife or husband cannot have sex because of disability often one is getting the need met somehow be that non piv sex with each other or again one has permission or not to get that one part dealt with on a don’t tell don’t ask.

My dh has the lower libido and frankly is set was once or twice a year I’d be long gone.

No. The one with the sex drive will get bored of the set up and / or get their head turned by someone. It’s got a limited lifespan