Damage dilema

[Daughtersandbristolian]

A girl at school had my DD (14) bag and wouldn’t give it back. My DD asked where their bag was and picked it up in an attempt to get hers back and she threw it at Shin height, probably less than a metre. It comes to fruition that the bag that my DD picked up, wasn’t, in fact, this other girls, and someone else’s fast forward to the end of the day, and the screen of the laptop in the other person’s bag is now broken (no laptop case or protector just for context) I can’t obviously prove that it was my DD picking the bag up and throwing it less than a metre did break it ( may have been cracked already which exacerbated it , wasn’t in a case) however now mum of said child has reported the broken screen and my DD has been told by head of year that there will be a consequence and I just want your opinions please is it my DD’s fault or is it Other girl for taking my DD bag in the first place Who by the way we have got a laptop case. Just also for context the child’s laptop that screen was broken, turned to my DD and said it’s not your fault, it’s the other girls for taking your bag - however I understand it’s a turn if all events / action and reaction. Please may I have some advice and should it be me that pays for it or should it be the other child that pays for it or should it just be the child without a laptop cases learned a lesson in using a case ( harsh).
I will take all advice openly - just need to know how to deal with this properly . Thanks

I agree. DD is responsible fir the damage and therefore you need to pay.

I do think the girl who took your DD's bag should be spoken to about he behaviour so if he mentioning this to the school if you haven't already.

I don't think I agree with the other posters (MN does have a strong 'you pay for it' mentality that doesn't tally with normal life).

I don't think throwing a school bag a metre should result in anything inside being broken, and if it does, it wasn't protected sufficiently. A school bag and it's contents should be able to stand up to a bit of squashing / throwing - it's the nature of school. Phones and laptops should be in protective cases.

I would offer to pay half at an absolute push.

So what did she set out to achieve by throwing someone else’s bag?

@RawBloomers thank you for your comments, and I guess I am trying to process it in my head that’s why I’ve asked for everyone’s opinion I haven’t spoken to School about it. What I meant in the comment above was you try and discuss low-level bullying and it’s dismissed or isn’t dealt with meaning things can escalate very quickly and very foolishly without thinking and that is what has happened here.

can I just ask though if a chrome book was in a bag and thrown ( not chucked) around a meter with it closed - woukd the screen crack? Ours is a gorilla screen and has been dropped at head height and no issue.

@SharedAccountWithMySister
she wasn’t thinking she picked it up just hoping it would let the other girl give her back

Throwing it a foot could break it let alone a meter. It's just pure luck how it lands and what on.

Please! Stop trying to justify your daughter's actions. You're trying to weasel your way out of it. She threw someone's bag. It doesn't matter who's bag or why she did it. She shouldn't have done it. Now cough up.

My DD’s laptop screen got cracked when she dropped it about 2 feet onto a carpet (we weren’t insured either - very painful), so yes, I think it’s possible. You’ll never know for sure, but if the screen had been unuseable before, why would the girl have brought it to school? Seems highly unlikely that she just happened to bring it to school and break it just before your DD threw it. You don’t necessarily have to pay for a new screen, though. If the chromebooks are a year or two old, it may be cheaper to buy a similarly aged secondhand one, and legally that should suitable compensation.

Your school’s response to low level bullying sounds dire. While I don’t think you can use the bullying as a reason why your DD isn’t responsible for the laptop, I don’t think the corollary is true. I think you can, separately to dealing with the laptop, use the incident as a reason why they need to take the bullying seriously. Have you put in a formal complaint about it?

Well done for pursuing it

It is 100% your DDs fault. Not even a grey area.

What was happening to your DD (which was indeed horrible) is irrelevant to the innocent person who had their bag thrown and Chromebook smashed by your DD!

Thanks everyone 👍🏼

A pencil case in front of it and a heavy textbook behind it would be enough to do it OP. You just don’t know with these things. My iphone dropped from my hands onto a granite worktop - shattered. My son dropped his out this window from the second floor of a holiday villa onto a paved patio - not a scratch (Go Otterbox!) it’s just bad luck.

Well once your 14 yr old has repaid the cost of the damage she will realise that actions have consequences.

Of course it's your daughter's fault and you will need to pay for a repair/replacement. I would also speak to the school about the events that led up to this.

These are my thoughts, but you have said it better!

Stop with the "who knows if it was broken before" shit and trying to imply that someone is trying to pull a fast one. Your daughter broke it.

The bullying of the girl taking her bag is a separate issue from smashing the chrome book. She pickup someone else bag and threw it and smashed the chrome book- so broke it, you have to pay. Address the bullying with the school and suggest the girl who stole her bag goes half on the cost

Surely if it used in school it should be insured.

Who fucking cares that the (entirely innocent) girls laptop didn’t have a protective case on it - if your daughter hadn’t thrown it, it wouldn’t be damaged!!

The fact you’re even questioning whether you should pay for it or not is scummy. Why tf should this girl who did nothing wrong have to be without her laptop because of something your daughter did…??

Oh, and ps:

”Please may I have some advice and should it be me that pays for it or should it be the other child that pays for it or should it just be the child without a laptop cases learned a lesson in using a case ( harsh).”

• I’d be more concerned with teaching MY daughter a lesson about being reckless with other people’s belongings.

Agree, it is a lesson not to be reckless and throw things. Dd should pay in instalments to you if she cannot afford it. Is it just the screen? Does the other girls family have insurance? Then you pay the excess, a screen at a local repairer or the excess shouldn’t be much more than £100.

IRL a cracked screen is always going to be a risk that you can't fully mitigate for. I've had a phone drop from a coffee table to a carpeted floor, in a case, and crack. If they are going to have tech at school there is always going to be a risk of breakages that the owner's parents need to expect, and cover. It's not a harsh lesson to learn, it 's just life. So stop going on about it being the parents' fault for not buying a protector. You don't know that a protector would have saved the screen.

Your daughter knew bags have laptops in so she shouldn't have thrown one, whether her own or not. But I think many parents in your position would simply refuse to pay up. School can give your child a consequence and the whole situation with the classmate could be awkward for your daughter, but I don't think they can force you to pay.

This is not to minimise the bullying of your daughter, but I don't think there is any hope of recovering the money from the bully who (presumably) didn't even touch the 3rd party's bag. The bullying should still be discussed.

The main thing here is how you handled this with your daughter. Lots of sympathy for the circumstances, backing her up with the bullying thing, but I would encourage her to face up to the consequence (or pay up) without shaming her or telling her how it's all the other child/other parent's fault.

@glusky thank you yes we have had lots of discussions about actions and reactions and fighting fire with fire. This is my eldest child and have honestly come on here for advice ( hence why I have not bitten on some really unnessesary wording and use of language by some others) . I will pay for the screen ( see if insured as would expect this at the very least and will bring up the second issue of the low level bullying as things escalate and we end up with situations like this/

Thank you for all your comments.