Hormones, WWYD, HELP.

[DefinitionOfMe]

I need a bit of help/advice.

I'm having real struggles during my menstrual cycle. From after the ovulation phase so around 2 weeks before my period starts I am really struggling, I'm so angry, depressed have crippling anxiety and am unable to regulate my emotions. I have outbursts with my husband and I'm short with my children. The things I'm angry about wouldnat another times of the month be an irritation or something I'd talk through however during this phase I'm a monster.

Once my period starts my mood instantly lifts its like coming out into the sunshine, I feel myself again, loving and controlled. However during my 4/5 day period I feel poorly, very light headed and persistent headaches but relatively happy. Then my mood and health feels fantastic and loving and have interests again all through before ovulation and during ovulation I'm at my best. Then the dreaded depression/anger etc starts again.

I have been going through this for years however its getting worse and worse. I have previously spoken to a therapist due to thinking I had depression but now I think it's all linked to my cycle.

I need some help but I do not want to start antidepressants, I want to get to the bottom of why my cycle impacts me like this and treat the cause not the symptoms.

FYI I do not take any Contraceptives, I am however overweight but have a moderately active lifestyle and mid 30's. This month I have tried exercising through the rage and going for long walks with the dog. It doesn't make me feel any better ut at least gives me something productive to do.
I'm struggling with work during this time and feel I'm not a very good mum.

Has anyone been through similar? I'm lucky enough to have private medical insurance through work, what specialist can help me? I'm already dreading next month, it's unbearable it is more than just a PMT I'm not sure what to do next.

I've had almost identical symptoms. I'm 36 and not yet peri menopausal, I have got so bad I was suicidal.
I recently saw a female doctor who appeared to take it seriously, due to my age and weight she didn't want to out me on the combined pill so I have been prescribed the mini pill and estrogen patches to try and regulated my hormones and stop them dipping for 2 weeks mid cycle, its only been a few weeks and I'm no longer suicidal but still full of rage and ratty, I have been assured this will settle down so I'm hopeful.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a thing. You can definitely consult either your GP or your health insurance provider about it. The quickest fix is hormonal contraception, but that's no good if you're TTC or can't take it for another reason.

Don't turn your nose up at CBT, btw, big emotional reactions are exactly the type of thing it's good for.

@Me1987 thank you for sharing.
I'm so sorry you have been feeling like this. And glad at least the patches and pill have helped a little.
Have you had any unwanted symptoms from them?
I have awful anxiety about long term side effects from medication, although an advocate for friends taking what they need to feel better. Urgh what a mess.

@2024GarlicCloves thank you.
I have read about PMDD and mentioned it when I was going through the period of helplessness. The GP had heard of it, but she said she didn't know much about it to treat it. I was referred and had CBT to treat my anxiety/overthinking which helped a bit but what I worry about and overthink is genuine and the therapist agreed. Maybe it would work to tackle this?

I used to take the mini pill and that just made me feel worse, the estrogen patches is to balance out the mini pill. At the moment I'm quite ratty probably about 80% of the time which I wasn't when I wasn't taking any medication at all but I have been assured from people who take estrogen patches it should settle.
I'm definately happier being ratty rather then suicidal though

This is classic PMDD. There is no one definitive treatment. CBT is sometimes used, as are hormonal treatments and antidepressants for part of the menstrual cycle. Please ask your GP to refer to a gynaecologist. Gynaecologists who deal with the menopause should also be able to see people with PMDD. Access this privately if needed.

@Me1987 gosh why does it all need to be so tough. I hope it continues to get better for you.

@HopeThatHelps thank you. I have found a few Private Gynaecologists that I will reach out to to understand their experiences treating this. Lots are male with only a few female so we shall see.
Do you have any direct experience with PMDD?
I wonder if there is a blood/hormone test they can do to establish if it is PMDD.