To think that my child’s main source of nutrition will still be breast milk when they’re 10?!

[G0ldfinch]

I was so happy when breastfeeding worked for us. After a premature birth, bad colic and terrible sleep, breastfeeding was the thing that seemed to just click. Didn’t hurt, baby was fed, very convenient/cheap - happy days. However, now I have such a milk monster I’m completely failing with weaning.

DC is just not interested at all and is almost 1 year. In fairness, we all got a virus just after we started weaning and she got a complete food aversion. It took her 2 months to even try any other food but BM - she gagged and vomited every time we tried. Fast forward to now and we have made small progress in that she will sometimes put different foods in her mouth but nothing/not much seems to actually get swallowed and what does seems to be accidental. She likes to chew, so ends up trying more with finger shaped foods, but trying to spoon feed her or encourage her to spoon feed herself is a no go.

What am I missing?! Can anyone relate? It seems like madness that babies months younger than her are eating three square meals a day plus snacks and she is barely having anything. Will this get better? I’m losing hope.

You don't need to spoon feed. Keep going with the finger foods and give her a plate of whatever you're eating. If she is having a lot of milk, she may not be hungry. Can you try offering food just before her usual milk times so she will be hungry for it?

It will get better. My daughter went days at a time without eating anything solid when she was 1. Now that she's 2 years and 3 months she eats heaps. Still an absolute boob fanatic though, weaning is not going well 😵‍💫

It will get better!

Apologies for any of these suggestions that you have already tried!

Have you tried making very very runny readybrek made with breastmilk? Then slowly thickening up?

Assume you've tried yoghurt of different flavours? Often an easy eat if your child will take it!

Otherwise, if she doesn't like being spoon fed, embrace baby led weaning. Give her exactly what's on your plate (even if you have to cut your food up so it looks the same) and eat together. (Or at least she might put more food in her mouth, mash it about, and spit most out - but something will go down even my accident!) Suddenly more will get swallowed and less will get spat out.

Every time something goes in - celebrate it. If it comes out - never mind.

Ah shit. Mine is nearly four and I was hoping someone was still going longer than mine 😳

DS1 didn't really eat until he was 1, he was referred to a dietician in the end. It used to completely stress me out when all the other babies seemed to be on 3 meals a day and he would, begrudgingly, have some yoghurt. He was a little better at 1, in that he added toast and peanut butter to his repertoire. Stopped breastfeeding at about 20 months and there was no radical improvement. I remember saying to the health visitor at the 2 year check (which was delayed because of COVID, so was about 2yrs and 4 months) that I didn't understand how he was growing. At 5 he still has limited interest in food, but is on the 98th percentile for height. I thought he must be part plant and rely on photosynthesis. I recommend the vitabiotics multivitamins as they have iron.

Main recommendation from the dietician was messy play and DS1 clearly does have some sensory issues (which meant that he refused to ever touch the messy play stuff I set up). But if you think there's issues with gagging it's worth getting a referral to SALT. DS2 was very premature and has just been discharged from the SALT team. I've found generally because of his extreme prematurity (he was 13 weeks early) my health concerns have been listened to a bit more than I was expecting.

Baby led weaning sounds like it could be the way to go for you. My 3rd hated to be spoon fed too but loved getting his hands dirty! He just ate whatever we ate. Sadly he's 2 now and has become a right fussy bugger 😁 Solidstarts are a great resource for safe baby led weaning.

Just go with finger food.

Read up on baby led weaning.

I too had a breast milk monster. Would literally not open her mouth for any food at that age it was such a stressful struggle. Very fussy toddler. Now age 7 and is an excellent eater, has a very balanced diet and will eat her vegetables. Always clears her plate at mealtimes often asks for seconds and friends comment what a healthy appetite she has…!

Hang on in there. Yours is not yet one- their main source of calories is still milk. “Food for fun until one” Babies and toddlers really do require very little food (but lots of snacks!) I found “magic porridge” worked for us as a way to fill up and aid sleep when at that age she literally wouldn’t eat anything else (by which I mean cow and gate baby rice!)

My second child was exactly like this. Had a really sensitive gag reflex, and vomited every time he tried to eat food, so became a bit phobic! Don't worry, you'll get there. Some of them take longer to get into food. Still breastfeeding at age 2, though. (I'm ok with this.)

Thank you to all those who have replied, I’m feeling the solidarity. To those mentioning baby led weaning, that’s basically what we’re doing but it doesn’t seem to be progressing from having a little chew and then spitting big lumps out? This is how it’s been for 4 months, is it really that slow? It seems a bit like she doesn’t really know how to get food into bite size pieces to swallow, but if it’s done for her or puréed she’s not interested.

To be clear, I don’t at all have an issue with BF’ing at all, it’s just the lack of solids alongside that is the problem.

One thing that DS1 struggled with was moving food around his mouth correctly, and the dietician recommend those dissolvable sticks that Ella's kitchen do, maybe try those? They're also good from a baby led weaning perspective in that you can use them with dips.

Weaning with DS2 (who is 10 months corrected) has been far more straightforward. We do a mixture of spoonfed and blw. The things he found easiest at the start were things like sweet potato wedges, where he could really gum out the soft middle.

We also got this on the recommendation of the SALT team. I was very anxious with DS2 when weaning started because he had issues with his swallow (which was why he was under SALT) and it was so horrific with DS1. The theory is that it teaches the chewing motion without the risk of choking. I was very anxious though, it's probably not necessary!

I had one of these! She basically didn't eat till she was 13 months and went to nursery and that was all there was. I was beside myself! I remember meeting people at baby groups towards the end of maternity leave who were fretting about their progress after 5/6 weeks trying solids, when I was on 5/6 months 😆 She eats now.

It's so hard, because there are very real food issues out there, and there's a point at which it really is a worry....but I was in the same boat as you, and it was all fine in the end.

It might be worth speaking to your GP to get a dietician referral.

Just bear in mind that a lot of health care 'professionals' will automatically blame BF and tell you to stop. The two things are likely to be completely unrelated though.

Mine was 4.5 when finally off BF and ate just fine. I do remember her being very selective about texture of food for a long time though.

On another note, I'm so, so happy to see a positive BFing post with some really supportive comments!

Absolutely normal! I had one who just didn't get solids until over a year. I think he was 14 months when he finally ate a piece of pasta and I cried with relief 😂 he would thrust out purees etc at 11 months old and hated being fed so I just took a step back and gave him finger foods to try and took all pressure off. It clicked one day. I wasnt too worried as he was having breastmilk. On the other hand I also have a 1 year old who has been demolishing food since about 7 or 8 months. However he will not drink from a bottle or cup and only from the breast. It is a worry but they're all so different.
One piece of advice I would definitely give after my daughter ended up with an aversion to food/drinks (1st born and made lots of mistakes with weaning out of worrying she wasnt getting it as quickly as her peers). Whatever you do just don't compare and don't pressure them to eat or drink. As long as they're having milk there's really no rush. They will get there even though it feels like they never will. They can sense pressure a mile off and it will make them hate meal times. Just be assured that whilst they are still breastfeeding they are getting plenty of what they need and any solids are a bonus! Try not to see it as how much are they not eating but instead see it as a new skill they have to learn. If you have tiktock or Instagram search for Lucy Upton 'the children's dietician'. She is so fab and has loads of great content on there about weaning, fussy eating, food refusal etc.

If she’s struggling to break up the food in her mouth then with veg over cook it. Not to mush, firm enough she can still pick it up, but probably a lot softer than you would like. Broccoli and carrot would be good for this. Flaked soft fish might also work? Meat not so much.

Ultimately if she’s picking it up, and putting it into her mouth, swallowing will probably happen at some point.

You’ve not said how often you provide breast milk, in relation to trying to offer other food? offering food when they are too hungry can be just frustrating. Too full, they’re not interested. Somewhere in the middle is the magic place to be!

More replies that are really giving me food for thought (pardon the pun), thank you all.

@Merrow you’be reminded me that I actually have one of those, so perhaps I should get it out again. I had a half-hearted go with it, but then when she started putting food in her mouth I stopped. I might have another go though and see if it helps with chewing.

Thank you for all the success stories, I’m feeling more motivated by those after throwing meal after meal away 😂 maybe that’s just the process.

@Heyln thanks for the Instagram recommendation, I will give her a follow! We have actually seen a dietician, but only once and I’ve just emailed for another appointment.

To those asking about BF’ing schedules etc, I feed on demand and sometimes it’s not entirely clear whether she’s hungry or just wants a bit of comfort/is tired etc. I do try to give food first to try and help her associate food with helping hunger and I offer snacks often to try and catch her in the right moods! I don’t think anyone has advised reducing BM because she’s small and not gaining weight as it is (size 3-6 months still fits her). The dietitian did suggest trying to reduce nights feeds though in order to promote hunger/food during the day. This has not gone well, I could do a whole other thread about sleep issues!

My eldest wasn't interested in food and was a massive picky eater until 3. My middle child didn't swallow solid finger food until 14 months. He even still spat purees out at 11monthe. My 3rd baby on the other hand has been demolishing solid finger food since 7-8months old! He even eats bigger portions at 13 months than my 4 year old. They are all so different. Having 2 late starters to food I know how it feels when everyone else's babies are getting it and loving food nuch earlier but as long as they're breastfeeding I wouldn't worry and just keep offering with no pressure. They will eventually get it. Just so whatever causes you the least stress x

Sorry I only just realised I'd already commented in this thread and my last message is full of typos! I really need more sleep🥴

My DS was exactly the same. He's now 2.5 and still has days where breast milk is his main diet. He definitely eats less than I'd like but I presume he's getting everything he needs from milk.

One of mine would gag and vomit a lot at that age. She had very sensitive gag reflex. It gets better with time. If she has an Ella's (or something of that consistency) is she still gagging?