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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tell me to grow up😂

8 replies

Flamminsausage · 30/01/2024 14:52

Suppose a bit of a hand hold post really
had major surgery 4 weeks ago,12 week recovery time. Hubby has been amazing doing everything round the house and very supportive even though he’s working full time.2 oldest kids don’t live at home both live about 3 hours away both very early 20s one has called me twice and barley texts only if he wants password for Amazon ect then I get a How are you as what feels like a second thought. The other one is on the phone all the time but it’s always about him.
youngest still at home but just a typical 15 year old.
mother in law has text me twice in 4 weeks.
my mum is an odd one and it always is about her in some way, told me to keep quite about my surgery to the last min so I didn’t upset another family member who is waiting for surgery.
only really got one friend and she has text now and again.
doing college part time, but tutor not answering my emails.
ive always tried to be kind and helpful, send thoughtful gifts when someone is down, made a stew when people are ill and took it round ect, sent kids loads of stuff to let them know I’m thinking of them. But most of all I’ve always given people my time. I’ve tried telling people I’m a bit fed up but it appears to be falling on deaf ears. Feel like what I thought my family was….isnt if that makes sense.
I know you shouldn’t do it to receive, but not had a card or anything off anyone, finding it a hard pill to swallow.
like I say just feeling a bit sorry for myself.

OP posts:
Haydenn · 30/01/2024 14:56

Thats rough. I do hope you feel better soon. Your husband sounds lovely though. I hope when you are feeling better you can treat yourselves to a nice meal out just the two of you. 💐💐💐

WishesPromises · 30/01/2024 14:58

You might need to be more direct. I know it's disappointing that they aren't being very caring, but it's probably better if you say "it would be nice if..."

Moier · 30/01/2024 14:59

I'd hold your hand.. visit you with flowers and chocolate..
Awful when you're not well and recovering.. fed up etc..
Just texts from others would help.
Least hubby is stepping up.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Ispini · 30/01/2024 15:04

So sorry you’re feeling neglected, you are right to be disappointed when you have been there for others in the past. What you need to do now is look after yourself and do not think of anyone else except your DH who’s doing the right thing.
As for everyone else you know what to do the next time they need you! When your son phones be abrupt and tell him how you are feeling, at times youngsters just need to be reminded they are not the center of the world. Ignore your mum, she probably doesn’t want any ‘unnecessary’ attention on you as it would take away from her drama! If I were you I would also forget the Amazon password!
Do not be so available and thoughtful again, it’s hurtful when people do not treat you in a kind way especially when you’re not feeling the best. 💐

Makeitmakesensetoday · 30/01/2024 15:05

Thats a real shame for you, it must hurt when it's your kids too. I would probably be a bit more direct with them particularly, sounds like they need to realise you're human too with feelings and they're old enough to look after you now and not vice versa. I'd probably text them both 'just wanted you to be aware I'm really having a hard time here, DH is doing everything around the house whilst I'm stuck in bed and would be nice to see you/for you to help out occasionally or just hear from you a bit more' or soemthing along those lines.

Feel better soon!

Mangerine · 30/01/2024 15:10

Get yourself your takeaway, get under a quilt and put a show or film on and carry on feeling sorry for yourself. It's absolutely shit isn't it. When you're back on your feet remember all of this! And stop giving people your time
Get well soon OP xx

Theunamedcat · 30/01/2024 15:12

Next time they are ill remember this you have treated people as you wish to be treated and they have not given you the same courtesy

Flamminsausage · 30/01/2024 15:14

Arrr, thank you.
i think that’s what’s bothered me that you don’t always get back what you put in….think that’s how the old saying goes 🤔
hopefully come out of this a bit tougher than I went in.
@Mangerine a take away does sound good, might treat myself 😊

OP posts:
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