To ask for your advice - keep crying in the morning whilst getting ready and don't know what to do

[cryini]

I'm at university as a mature student, studying for a healthcare career. I have a history of anxiety, but had been doing ok for the last 18 months and was deemed fit for the course by occupational health.

Since coming from Christmas I have really struggled, and ended up missing 3 weeks of lectures and seminars. I emailed in each time, got doctor's note in case I needed it, and kept up with all of my assignments from home.

I went back last week and really struggled, and again this week I've been really struggling. I had to keep redoing my makeup this morning as I kept crying it off. I'm not sure why, and can't actually articulate what's wrong.

I feel so lonely on the course, it's a small course (45 of us) and there are close friendship groups that I don't feel like I know anyone. I tend to sit on my own, and I know I shouldn't as it makes me feel even lower but I also just don't have the strength to put on a happy face and approach groups of people.

I had a test this morning and I know I did badly on it, I missed most of the seminars needed to prepare for it and despite trying to prepare for it on my own I still found it really difficult.

I start placement soon and I just don't know how to pull myself together. I don't know what to do.

Are you on any medication to manage your symptoms.

what is in the way is the way.

you need to make the first move to get into some conversations with the group. You know that. How can you make that happen?

Hi OP
i have no experience of anxiety, but to me you sound depressed, could be low hormones etc. but you need a bit of TLC and help, is there anyone at Uni who you can talk to in a professional capacity and get you some help

You definitely need to talk to your course leader or if the uni has a mental health team then someone from there. You should see if you can get a bit of time off - you might have to resit the year, I can’t remember exactly how it works.
But, potentially when you start your placement things might improve for you. You may find that you connect to people you’re working with, or if any of your course mates are in the same place as you then you have a chance to connect more 1 on 1 with them.
First things first though is to speak to someone at your uni regarding your mental health 🧡

Maybe the degree isn't the right choice? Do you have other options?

I've been on medication nearly 2 years which has worked fairly well up until now, so I'm not sure if I should see my GP about getting my dose increased or switching to another medication?

University already know I have anxiety, I don't think they can really give any more support

GP- defo go back and talk about what you’ve said on here. There is an increase in anxiety and it could be that they can increase your meds.

Uni will have a welfare officer and they can help you.

Firstly sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. I would strongly urge you to contact whatever support service is available at the uni. They might be able to provide counselling. But you also need to explain your situation to the course leaders. It's already affecting your studies so getting that on record would be useful. As well as your doctor.

I know it's difficult and exhausting. I had anxiety and it really affected my time at university (actually before and after for a long time). I wish I had known what it was and asked for help at the time.

A lot of people experience this kind of thing, so please do not feel that you are alone in feeling this. Best wishes and good luck to you.

Thank you, I'll contact my GP.

I'll also try and contact university to let them know, I'm just worried as it could be deemed that I'm not fit to practice and I could get kicked off the course. I don't really have a back up plan career wise as I've had lots of gaps in my CV where I get burnt out and need time off between jobs. I'm wondering if I should suspend my studies and return next year, but I'm worried that having a year with nothing to do might make me worse.

If you do take a year off then make sure you fill your time with things that will not put pressure on you, but will help you to stay active and relevant to what you want to do in future. You could volunteer, or try to find a part time job in a healthcare setting. Just doing something that shows you’re still interested in having a career in healthcare and you’re using your time wisely.

Don’t do anything drastic. Speak to your GP. How are you feeling?

I'm still struggling, but after a lot of reflection I think that the course isn't right for me. I want to withdraw, but have no idea what to do next and I'm concerned about my CV having gaps... I'm not sure whether to go to my GP and ask for a longer sick note and ask to suspend my studies and see if I feel like returning in September, or whether to just leave completely.

I would keep your options open op. I feel for you, and I understand. x

Go and speak to student welfare. You need to talk through how you manage your time, so you're not missing classes to revise for tests, and you're able to manage in classes where you feel you don't know "anyone". Your personal tutor may also be able to help with this by assigning names together for group work.

It is a bad idea to quit the course while you’re in this frame of mind.

Have you made a GP apt yet?

Making a long term decision whilst feeling this way might not be the best move. You could ultimately be right it might not be the course for you or when you have got the anxiety under control you might feel differently. But deciding that now could be unduly coloured by how bad you are feeling. Like other posters have said keeping your options open can only be a good thing.

Have you spoken to the course leaders, student welfare and the GP? I do feel for you.