To want to know how to politely get rid of over friendly strangers?

[Fluffycreamrug]

I probably sound like a miserable so and so but I’m wondering how to manage it when you’re somewhere public, someone lovely and sociable latches onto you and you’re really not in the mood for chatting but obviously don’t want to be unpleasant.

So to give a few examples, one was when I had to go to an airport and someone started talking to me about where I was going and so on. But I was actually there for a sad reason and not in the mood to chat.

I was in a cafe with my baby and then two year old and I really needed to keep my attention on them but a lady on the next table started a ‘you’ve got your hands full’ type chat.

I find I get a lot of children wanting to interact with me if I’m out at a park or similar with my own kids and I don’t mind a brief conversation but they can become very demanding and it deviates my attention away from my own kids.

My hairdresser is the worst for this and just talks so much and I really value the time to chill out and read but she’s so bad at ‘reading the room.’

I am just wondering how others deal with it? I don’t ever want to be needlessly rude to people but if they don’t take polite hints do you just have to bluntly say you’re not in the mood for talking?

With adults I would absolutely be blunt and say, "Sorry, I can't chat right now." With kids I'd be much gentler and have a brief chat with them but then say, "I need to play with my children now- go and find your grown up."

Hairdresser is a difficult one- could you say at the start of the appointment, "Do you mind if I read? I've got my book club tomorrow and need to get to chapter 10!" or similar?

In public, I suspect if this is happening repeatedly you can afford to be more assertive. 'Nice talking to you - I'm just going over here with my daughter now'. It is obviously harder if you are in a 'captive' situation eg airport lounge etc but in that case I think you could appropriately have said that you nee a moment. In a cafe, you can just start a conversation with your kids excluding the stranger. Hairdresser, if they can't take a hint - get a new one.

I just avoid eye contact and make sure I look busy, i.e. reading a book, looking at my phone, talking to son, etc etc. Usually works. If they still try to make contact, I keep it brief but polite, i.e. short answers to their questions, don't extend the discussion, etc.

I think most people do seem able to "read the room" and read/understand the signals from people who won't want to be bothered. Just a few who are so self obsessed they decide they're going to talk to you, at length, whatever you do to try to put them off, and when that happens, the only answer is to be borderline rude, i.e. say I'm busy or just walk away etc.

With the lady in cafe, I would say very busy with a smile and then purposefully get busy with the kids and also pretend not to hear her because I'm so busy with the kids.

You don't need to be rude. A smile or acknowledgment would be enough, turn your back or make a pointed focus on whatever it is meant to keep you busy.