To wonder if my children just hate being at home?

[Winterstars]

Semi lighthearted but sort of a serious question in this.

My DD is now 6 months and when we’re at home is so difficult to manage. She won’t be put down apart from very short bursts in her bouncer chair but if held doesn’t seem particularly happy either, endless writhing, squirming and trying to be free. I’m typing this stood up with my elbow resting on a dining room chair and her in my arms but she’s still not happy (sitting down with her - forget it.) However, out in her pram, at baby groups, at church or cafes she is delightful and appears very placid.

Ds (now 3) was the same and while I do like being out and about with them it did get to the stage with DS where I was almost scared to be at home with him as he was just so restless and frustrated. As a result I do worry a bit he’s very behind with fine motor skills and even wonder if if meant his language wasn’t as advanced as many children his age as we weren’t talking as much.

Like most people I constantly stress I’m doing parenting all wrong! I don’t know if there’s a way to chill DD out as she’s exhausting me and I’m a bit stumped as to how to entertain her when she’s like this.

I don't think it matters where you are so long as your babies aren't "containered" for most of their day - in a pram, in a car seat, in a high-chair. Stationary babies should have lots of floor time to roll, grab, stretch etc. and crawling babies need safe environments to practice their new skills. All of these things can be done at home, in the library if there is a child-friendly space or at baby classes or playgroups.

When DC1 was a toddler, we used to take toys and books out with us and meet a friend in our local woodlands when the weather was nice, as we did tend to get cabin fever if we stayed inside too much. The little ones would collect twigs and stones in their dumper trucks and organise them, which was good for fine motor skills.

Tbh though I think 6 months is just a frustrating age! They're much more aware and often want to be on the move but not there yet, so they're not tiring themselves out as much as would be ideal. So many developmental leaps happen between 6-9 months - they really are the wonder months.

Not sure if call them wonder, she is driving me absolutely mad at the moment 😂 I know she should have opportunities to move but she gets angry after a few minutes on a playmat but will sit contentedly in her pram for ages!

I find this stage of parenting very labour-intensive, though mine have both been terrible nappers so I didn't really get a break from the frustration. When they're on the move, they can reach their toys and follow you round so less annoying.

Can you invite some friends with similar age babies around? Then you can chat and the babies can stare at each other and play with toys and it's less intense than one-on-one.

The other thing I find babies really like at this age is a washing-pile. I used to dump mine in the middle of the clean washing-pile while I got on with folding. Anything in reach would be unfolded, but kept us busy together with some music.

Part of her getting angry/frustrated on the playmat is probably having to work harder for entertainment. In the pram, she's sitting up and there's a constant kaleidoscope of colour and people to look at. She doesn't have that on the playmat at home - it's much harder work as she has to reach for things and actively interact with her environment.

It’s a tricky age. I’m mindful of not falling into the same ‘traps’ as I did first time round but also find her difficult to manage. In many ways it’s the opposite of when she was a newborn where days with just us and no DC1 were a peaceful joy, now I love it when DC1 is around as the chaos he brings seems to cheer her up 😂

Yes, I prefer having my DC2's older sibling around to amuse them for a bit 😂. Less whining and frustration (at least from the baby 😂). Though the older one sometimes gets enough and escapes upstairs.