To ask for more help for ex with kids?

[ANONforthisone67374]

We have three children together and I'm struggling. I haven't asked for anything I've done it all on my own mostly for peace of mind because I can't be bothered with the drama that is his new partner. I can't work much due to having the kids and no childcare and in general I'm just struggling to do it all on my own. He does pay maintenance but this doesn't go far. I have no time to myself and I have no life. He can do what he likes without second thought and I'm just tired of struggling while he has a blast. I love my kids they mean everything but am I wrong for just wanting to be me again?

And I know someone will say ah you sound jealous I'm not jealous of him or his relationship or any of that I just want to have a life of my own where I can look back and say yh I still done the things I wanted to do.

Is using your DPs for childcare meaning you feel obliged to help DPs?

This will be my suggestion as that takes the pressure off the school run for at least two days of the week.

One gets transport. The other isn't in a setting she's on pathway waiting for assessments but currently on reduced timetable so I have to do an extra pick up during the day

No I cared for them while with my ex I've always been the carer so it's just continued I wouldn't be working without them though so maybe partially I do help because I need them as much as they need me.

You can and should ask.
However, speaking from (bitter?) experience there's bugger all you can actually do to make him step up. Either physically or financially. No one can make him have the kids if he doesn't want to. And being self employed means you're relying on him being honest about his income and choosing to pay fairly. If he's as crap as he sounds he won't.
My ex is self employed, he works less hours than I do and pays minimal maintenance, he can't afford to pay any more, but he also won't have the kids more than 9hrs a week so I can earn more. It's incredibly frustrating how he can still control my life.
I'm sorry you're doing it all, and I know how much harder it is having to take SEN into account too. But remember that in the long run you will have something money can't buy in your relationship with your kids. Maybe then your ex will regret his choices, maybe not. But you will reap what you sow. As will he. In my eyes my ex can keep the freedom he's so desperate for, it comes at the cost of his relationship with our kids, and that's not a price I would ever be willing to pay.