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AIBU?

Video banycam

16 replies

doilooklikeicare · 30/01/2024 01:19

So I'm babysitting over night for my young great niece (13 months).

Mum and dad have a family wedding to attend and it's no children.

They've got a video cam thing on their phones, mum, dad and also Grandma (dad's side, who is also at the wedding).

They are all obsessed with this camera and when I've been out with are constantly checking it, leading to DN being quite anxious, baby isn't settling etc.

I don't want to be videoed and have this on when I'm babysitting, the whole thought that I'm being watched and listened to makes me uncomfortable.

We have no devices like this at home, ring doorbell etc. nor do we have phone trackers etc, as again I don't want to be tracked if I go for coffee or go off the beaten track to sit on the local downs and read a magazine for half an hour.

They're sufficiently far enough away that they can't return home, so I think if they see she is difficult to settle it will just cause stress, so no benefit to anyone.

AIBU to ask them to switch it off, take the night off and rely on me to contact in extreme emergency.

FYI DGN can be a dream to settle or a nightmare to settle, if she gets overtired.

YABU of course parents want to monitor and see baby
YANBU they trust you to babysit, so should have a night off

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 30/01/2024 01:22

Not trying to be difficult, but you haven't enabled voting, OP.

doilooklikeicare · 30/01/2024 01:28

TheShellBeach · 30/01/2024 01:22

Not trying to be difficult, but you haven't enabled voting, OP.

I'm on the app so I don't think I can? 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Garrisi · 30/01/2024 01:40

YANBU I wouldn’t want to be watched and listened to either.

doilooklikeicare · 30/01/2024 01:46

Garrisi · 30/01/2024 01:40

YANBU I wouldn’t want to be watched and listened to either.

Thank you, I'm not sure why anyone would want to hear me singing to DGN, I've a dreadful voice Grin! I actually also hate my voice on videos etc, makes me cringe, I sound awful, so that makes me more uncomfortable.

OP posts:
HAF1119 · 30/01/2024 03:25

You're not being unreasonable - it sounds like they are away now? I wouldn't approach it on this occasion, but would ignore it, and when they are back let them know that you really enjoyed it, so did Gneice, but if they would like you to repeat in future it would have to be camera free as it makes you uncomfortable being filmed.

The problem is people sometimes get addicted to what is 'their norm' so it may make them anxious to not have it (it's very much not nessesary for many parents, but has obviously become something they rely on). If you'd really like to be able to babysit again in the near future you can offer compromises - text soon as baby down to sleep, text not long after baby's woken, let you know she's eating good at the end of the day?

Is baby in any sort of childcare at the moment?

theGooHasGone · 30/01/2024 03:36

Certainly ask them, but don't be surprised when they don't want to do it, ask what you're afraid of, tell you if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear (🙄) etc.

WandaWonder · 30/01/2024 03:38

No way way would I be filmed not would film anyone myself and I am sick of this 'anxiety' be used for everything, if thery don't trust mer to babysit then then they don't trust so yes I would be switching them off

doilooklikeicare · 30/01/2024 03:48

HAF1119 · 30/01/2024 03:25

You're not being unreasonable - it sounds like they are away now? I wouldn't approach it on this occasion, but would ignore it, and when they are back let them know that you really enjoyed it, so did Gneice, but if they would like you to repeat in future it would have to be camera free as it makes you uncomfortable being filmed.

The problem is people sometimes get addicted to what is 'their norm' so it may make them anxious to not have it (it's very much not nessesary for many parents, but has obviously become something they rely on). If you'd really like to be able to babysit again in the near future you can offer compromises - text soon as baby down to sleep, text not long after baby's woken, let you know she's eating good at the end of the day?

Is baby in any sort of childcare at the moment?

No it's not happened yet it's beginning of March.

So childcare setting yet, probably towards the end of the year.

OP posts:
doilooklikeicare · 30/01/2024 03:48

theGooHasGone · 30/01/2024 03:36

Certainly ask them, but don't be surprised when they don't want to do it, ask what you're afraid of, tell you if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear (🙄) etc.

Yes, I think that'll be the "argument", what's the problem, we won't be looking much, so why would it be an issue.

OP posts:
doilooklikeicare · 30/01/2024 03:49

WandaWonder · 30/01/2024 03:38

No way way would I be filmed not would film anyone myself and I am sick of this 'anxiety' be used for everything, if thery don't trust mer to babysit then then they don't trust so yes I would be switching them off

Thank you!

I agree I hate the current culture of filming everything and tracking everyone.

It's something DH and I would just never do.

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 30/01/2024 03:55

doilooklikeicare · 30/01/2024 03:49

Thank you!

I agree I hate the current culture of filming everything and tracking everyone.

It's something DH and I would just never do.

I would mention happy to babysit but cameras off take it or leave it

doilooklikeicare · 30/01/2024 03:59

@WandaWonder I think it's best for them as well, what are they going to do if DGN is not settling or up during the night....

It's just stressful and sometimes ignorance is bliss!

I mean if it's guaranteed that she'll settle easily and sleep all night, that's reassuring for them, but if she doesn't that's stressful.

OP posts:
Niegenug · 30/01/2024 04:02

Agree that if you can be trusted to babysit overnight, then they shouldn't be recording you whatsoever!

If they agree to not recording you, then put the device in a drawer until they come back, just so that they are not tempted to sneakily spy on you. If they want to see the baby sometimes, you can use your smartphone to send little videos at your convenience.

AutumnNanny · 30/01/2024 04:03

I'd just tell them straight 'I'm more than happy to baby sit, but I'm not happy to be watched via baby cam.

As a nanny I won't look after babies/children if the parents have cameras. No way.

doilooklikeicare · 30/01/2024 04:03

Niegenug · 30/01/2024 04:02

Agree that if you can be trusted to babysit overnight, then they shouldn't be recording you whatsoever!

If they agree to not recording you, then put the device in a drawer until they come back, just so that they are not tempted to sneakily spy on you. If they want to see the baby sometimes, you can use your smartphone to send little videos at your convenience.

I would absolutely send them videos or FaceTime etc, I would be more than happy to do that.

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 30/01/2024 04:07

Niegenug · 30/01/2024 04:02

Agree that if you can be trusted to babysit overnight, then they shouldn't be recording you whatsoever!

If they agree to not recording you, then put the device in a drawer until they come back, just so that they are not tempted to sneakily spy on you. If they want to see the baby sometimes, you can use your smartphone to send little videos at your convenience.

Again if they trust me to babysit they trust me I would not be taking pictures or video - the child is not being looked after for weeks

they would haver to find someone else, I would not ask this of anyone looking after my child

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