Pregnant woman suicide HG

[rainbowballoo]

Woman with acute morning sickness hanged herself after reducing meds
mol.im/a/13019563

I've found this story very sad to read.

I suffered from HG twice and felt so alone in it. I found the care around it pretty shocking and had to spend hours waiting in a and e for fluids, when already feeling so unwell. This was the only way to get help when at my lowest.

Together with the guilt of not being able to work and people telling you to ' just eat ginger biscuits'.

The care is not good enough. No one really cares about pregnant women, you have to brave it all.

Midwives and medical professionals often make throwaway comments. The issue is also that you're seen by so many different people and services during your pregnancy. There's not one team or person responsible for your care, you just get passed around and no one really knows what's actually going on with you.

I was also on medication for my entire pregnancy and even getting a new prescription each time was a saga. I also had these kinds of comments made by doctors. I had to justify it right until the end of my pregnancy - why I needed the medication. The only nice person I spoke to was an GP who had suffered herself from HG. She prescribed it, no questions asked and really asked me how I was doing mentally and how I was coping with it all. She was the only person to really ask me and really care about it. I only spoke to her once, unfortunately.

Anyway. We need to do better for pregnant women.

RIP to mother and daughter together forever.

That’s tragic.

I had HG in my second pregnancy. It was a nightmare. Literally, when I look back on it, it was like a terrible dream.

I was SO incredibly ill from week 6 until about week 33 (and then got another, quite dangerous health condition so the whole pregnancy was a shit show!).

The nausea was horrific. I couldn’t hold down more than a sip or two of water. Lost 20 lbs in my first two semesters, Was in hospital on a drip several times. Couldn’t look after my older child.. Barely left my bed, let alone the house.

I remember just lying on the sofa feeling like I was on a ship, sick as a dog and delirious and looking at my toddler watching telly again with no interaction from me and just not knowing how I was going to get through. The effect on my mental health was huge. I was so depressed and lethargic and just a shell of a woman.

Other than the spells in hospital, I got zero care. No advice. Nobody really understood. It was desperate. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

I had HG for the whole pregnancy, I did at one point consider an abortion. And this was a much, much wanted baby, so was huge for me to even consider it. But thankfully I stuck with it and have my wonderful son.
I also kept having ginger products suggested to me, ginger biscuits and anything else with ginger in 😂
The poor woman to have done that must’ve felt utterly hopeless 😔

I've been thinking of this since I commented earlier. All of my HG pregnancies took such a toll physically and mentally.

As well as what I posted earlier, I have thought of other things too since then...

The muscle wastage from being bed ridden.

The paramedic telling me you can't be sick if there's no food or drink in your stomach. (Even swallowing my own saliva would make me vomit, and if nothing else bile would come up every 10-20 minutes).

The isolation.

The ginger suggestions.

The "pregnancy isn't an illness" dickheads.

The "you need to have a positive mindset".

The appointments were you're sat in the waiting room with all the glowing healthy mums to be.

Etc etc.

I feel so sad for this lady and her family. I know exactly what she was living with.

This was heartbreaking. I had HG with my second, I was under 9stone (I’m 5ft 10) when I gave birth. A few stone below my normal.
I remember feeling like I was going mad. I can relate to doing this in one of those moments. The being dismissed, messing with my head. Feeling alone. Poor woman. My heart breaks for her

I had HG with my first pregnancy, it was utterly awful, couldn’t even move a muscle without being sick, it was relentless vomiting, constant nausea and I was delirious with dehydration.

I went to my GP twice, was sent away with it’s just morning sickness, it will pass in a few weeks. I twice went to hospital, got turned away from there too, though they sent me home with diorolyte sachets…how I was meant to drink that when I couldn’t even hold down water was beyond me! I tried…hard!!!

I ended up weighing less than 6 stone, I was pure skin and bones. In the end I was so incredibly poorly, my DP was afraid I would die and booked an appointment with Marie Stopes, I was too out of it to really decline or consent, but the termination went ahead. What I can tell you is that the most care, sympathy and compassion came from the staff at that clinic, even as I threw up over more than one nurse, and had to be carried everywhere as I couldn’t even walk.

I was full of relief and huge regret, I wanted my baby!! I developed severe OCD as a result and battled that for a long time. It took a very long time to regain the weight I had lost as I had developed issues with food and eating.

I still grieve the loss of that child 23 years later, had any of the doctors I had seen actually helped instead of dismissing me, offered medication (I didn’t even know there was medication to try, not one ever mentioned it!) or even just a drip to rehydrate me things could have been different. I will live with the guilt of that termination forever.

It took me 5 long years to even attempt another much wanted pregnancy!

I am so sorry for this poor lady and her precious baby. I’m so sorry for all of us who have been through this 💐

Sounds absolutely horrendous. That poor poor woman. And all of you poor women having to go through everything I’ve read on this thread.

I had standard morning sickness and that was bad enough.

Cant imagine how horrific this must be.

I agree that no one cares about pregnant women - or post partum women come to that! The “have you tried ginger biscuits” line is bad enough when you have ordinary morning sickness, but I can’t imagine how much you must want to wring someone’s neck (not literally. Or maybe literally!) if you have HG.

I think it s almost worse that it’s been so publicised that Kate Middleton had it. So everyone thinks the excellent private care she had is the norm. Or perhaps wants to think that.

Sorry hadn’t read this when I posted re KM - not her fault but it doesn’t help that now people think “oh well she was fine”. Of course she was - she was cared for as all women with HG should be.

I think you have to witness this condition to understand how awful it is. I have severe nausea from 6-16 wks and then actual vomiting from wk 25-term but it’s absolutely nothing like HG.

I was once on the antenatal ward for a week with my first child and a lady on the ward had it. She didn’t lift her head once. Just vomited as she lay. She wretched and sobbed all night and her family would leave each day in tears. She couldn’t even speak or move position when her toddler came to visit. Her mum told me she had been that way for 36 wks with her first child. It was probably the most severe case but nonetheless it was eye opening.

I really feel for this poor woman.

I'm so sorry. You've nothing to feel guilty about - you should have been taken seriously and given some help 🌺🌺

Oh how heart breaking and tragic. I've gone ice cold.
Before I had DD I used to think being pregnant was all putting your feet up reading magazines rubbing you tummy with a huge smile on your face while people fussed over you and peeled you grapes. How wrong was I, my pregnancy was an absolute nightmare. I hated every minute of it. It most certainly wasn't the lark I envisioned. I also don't know why it's called "morning sickness" as if it stops at 12PM.
RIP to this poor lady and her poor baby.

Absolutely heartbreaking reading these posts, from previous experience with HG I can totally understand someone being driven to suicide. Just coming out of the first trimester with HG, still needing the ondansetron but starting to feel a lot better. Excellent early treatment this time and although it’s still been miserable, it hasn’t been the hell I experienced previously with no treatment for weeks until eventually admitted for IVs. I’ve still been fairly debilitated by it, lost a lot of weight, been off work sick and hardly left the house in weeks but everyone has been incredibly understanding and kind. It’s just awful to think you’ve had comments like that while going through what can be such hell

Just completely awful 😢 I got to they stage where I hadn’t been able to keep a even a sip of water down in days, had lost 2 stone and GP surgery not really understanding how ill I was (they’ve been amazing last 2 pregnancies) but luckily midwife saw me and sent me straight me to hospital where started on IVs. I cannot imagine getting to that stage and turning up at hospital and being turned away, that is so awful, and then what you were forced to go through so you didn’t both die. It’s just absolutely dreadful, thinking of you ❤️

I had horrendous morning sickness and weighed less than 8 stone when I was about 4 months pregnant but it was just morning sickness.
My sister had severe HG with both pregnancies. The first time in hospital with her first pregnancy, she prayed for a miscarriage and had intrusive thoughts about hanging herself with her dressing gown belt just to make it stop. She weighed 61/2 stone at 7/8 months gestation.
As someone else said pregnancy for some women is the absolute worst experience of their lives.

Yanbu. I suffered so much under medication from doctors and so much judgement from people who thought i was just being pathetic about morning sickness. It's horrendous.

This is heartbreaking! Some midwives/doctors can be very dismissive during pregnancy.

I had HG during my pregnancies and lost so much weight during the first and was severely anaemic. The second one I ended up in hospital on fluids because I had high levels of ketones in my urine and I was extremely ill and weak, I couldn’t even stay awake. I couldn’t even have a sip of water without throwing it back up and the 24/7 nausea was unbearable.
My mental health was completely shattered and I ended up with postnatal depression afterwards.

Her family must be incredibly devastated losing both her and the baby, it’s so sad.

This gave me the shivers. That poor poor woman.
I completely empathise, my hearts broken for how she must’ve felt.

I had 2 HG pregnancies, one I lost over 8st and was told it was in my head. I had a picc line for easy access to give medication and fluids through as I was in the hospital most of the time.
There was a time I’ll never forget that I just wanted to jump off the hospital roof but I couldn’t physically get there.
I was well overdue my medication, vomiting bile & blood, heard myself being talked about that it must be in my head.
This is the first time I’ve written it down or even “told” anyone. I felt guilty I felt that way, but that moment I couldn’t carry on.

Oh my word, you poor thing.

I'm glad you couldn't make that roof, but what way to feel.

I'm so sorry. But you should feel no guilt.

I can't imagine what you went through.

I just want to say how much I feel for all you ladies dealing with this. I've had a stillbirth at 31 weeks, so I know a bit (understatement) about pregnancy trauma 😣
Do you mind if I ask some questions about HG? Because I don't know much at all about it. I obviously know it's worse than morning sickness though!
.
If it's your first baby, would or have gone through it again?
I chose to get my tubes tied in my last section.

Again, I'm so sorry you went through this, wish all of you the best.

I had hg. I lost so much weight. After birth I was skinnier than I had ever been before being pregnant. I had sunken eyes with dark circles and looked like I was dying. And the way I was treated by the hospital throughout my pregnancy and after birth was outright abusive.

Refusing to admit me because, as triage nurse actually said to me, ‘I wasn’t pregnant enough.’ I argued with her that you are either pregnant or not pregnant, there is no such thing as not pregnant enough. And whether I was pregnant or not wouldn’t change the fact that I needed medical attention. She called security (not because I yelled or was aggressive or threatening, which I wasn’t, but because I disagreed with her and insisted that I needed medical attention) and I was made to leave without any medical attention. I had been sent to the hospital by a gp who told me to go to the emergency department. I left without any medical attention.

Another time I had been sent to emergency I still wasn’t admitted or put on a drip but a doctor did see me. He told me that it was very important to try to eat little and often. That I was severely dehydrated and that if I didn’t eat or drink I was putting my baby at risk. I told him that I did eat little and often and immediately projectile vomited every time I ate or took a sip of water. The gp had prescribed anti nausea tablets but each time I swallowed one with a small sip of water I immediately projectile vomited. I am not vomiting on purpose and can’t stop. What am I supposed to do? He prescribed me a wafer type anti nausea medicine that dissolves on the tongue. I was given one right then and there and it worked. The doctor told the nurse that I had to be given a sandwich and fluids and monitored. As soon as he left the nurse told me that they were not going to give me any food and if I want to eat I can go home and feed myself.

The wafer type anti nausea was expensive but worth. I went back to the gp to get another prescription for it but he refused.

Back to constant projectile vomiting until I gave birth.

I am not in the UK, so this complete disregard towards women in need of medical attention is clearly a worldwide issue.

So this previously healthy young woman becomes extremely unwell for a long period of time, pleads for help from medical professionals and is basically ignored. So what in god's name do the medics do? What a staggering failure, criminal actually.

I read all your posts my hg sisters. I'm so sorry to each and every one of you all. I've been in hg groups over the years and known women with appalling health care terminate IVF pregnancies. HG is a dark sickness that destroys women.

I've written my experiences that mirror lots of others, seems this incredibly isolating time we've all had individually is also within the hg community very common.
It feels like there is some level of shared hg experience here, almost like a bingo checklist.

I've also knocked myself out puking, on the toilet. Had a huge bump on my head.
I've also thrown up blood from torn oesophagus repeatedly.
My entire face has been filled with blisters due to the acid burns from the sick.
I've had to have my DP to use leave, we've had to save for unpaid leave and use emergency sick pay when planning pregancy knowing I'll potentially be in bed for 9 months.
I've had canulas in my feet due to such severe dehydration a few times.
I've lost the following, friends, jobs, teeth, hair due to my pregnancies. The friends one still hurts. Comments about me "not just cracking on" when I couldn't walk for being so weak.
I've had an impacted bowel due to ondansetron countless times.
I once had norovirus and HG, I was sick my partner counted over 100 times within about 5 hours, because norovirus is so contagious I didn't go to hospital and had 4+ ketones for over a week.
The pain of retching and vomiting pulled all my back muscles.
Let's not talk about my pelvic floor after all the throwing up. Peeing like a David Walliams sketch.
My first hospital admissions I was so weak I was in a wheelchair because I kept collapsing and a triage nurse sent me home because I didn't have enough wee to dip. When I was sent back to hospital another nurse dipped by trickle of wee and got me fluids (that was when the registrar had to canula my foot as no other veins worked) and I pee'd almost brown sludge after 2 bags of saline, it took 3 days to clear the ketones.
I couldn't bare the smell of my partner, my kids, I had my carpets replaced with laminate because the smell of them meant I couldn't leave the bed, I needed the fridge replacing because the smell I thought was going to kill me off, I could smell it from my bed upstairs.
We couldn't wash our clothes in scented laundry detergent because the smell made me so sick, I still hate it. Poor dp could only use deodorant in the car, away from the house.
I had to have a new sick bowl weekly because the acid sick smell triggered my sick so badly.
The medication (the prednisolone) along side cyclizine and ondansetron didn't stop the vomiting all together, but it did give me diabetes.
I remember feeling stupid and weak, besides my DP nobody understood its severity and made me out to be a princess. I still have digs made from family members about being a drama queen. One in particular who categorically did not have HG makes my HG experience sound like I'm a desperate little attention seeker and says, "I had it, I never took up NHS resources, I just got on with it" and it kills me tbh, because she barely had morning sickness.
I also hate hearing about how wonderful ginger is.

I wish Jessica had read this thread. She was not alone. 💔

We've all be alone too long. It's too much now. Jessica can't have died for this time next year more new harrowing stories like ours are being retold from more young lasses.

Jessica deserves legacy and I'm unsure how we go about it, but she was one of us and we can't just keep allowing this to happen to women.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't believe how cruel life is some times. I'm so sorry. 💐

I've had been pregnant 6 times and I have 4 children, 4 times I've had hg but one pregnancy was an early loss, so it wasn't a full 9 months. So 3 hg pregnancies for 9 months.
I have been told off on mumsnet for being selfish having more dcs when I do get hg and can't really parent for the 9 months. However my family is so small, without siblings they've no cousins etc, they'd be alone in the way I am when dp and I pass, and I never ever want that for them. Which is why I've decided to have a large family and more than one pregancy.
As much as I love being a mum, if I'd have brought my DS into a close family with aunts, uncles, cousins etc I'd have never had another pregancy again.
But I grew up lonely and isolated, I didn't ever want that for my children. I wanted them to be given the opportunity to have a close knit sibling group and I'm so happy that I have. There is 16 years between eldest and youngest and they are all so close it's incredible. We discussed, (controversial) as a family when the younger DC asked for a baby as all kids do what would happen, mum in hospital, being broke for a year or so, all hands on deck from the eldest if we went down the route of more of us. They all said that they wanted another baby in the house. I explained it may not happen but they all individually expressed wanting more siblings. I can't have anymore now anyway but the younger one still says "can we call our next baby bernard" etc 🙈anyway we gave it a shot and I fell pregnant quickly.
And as soon as I was sick my eldest took it upon himself to be in charge of his younger siblings when dp was working. So he would make them their dinner, snacks, brush their teeth with them. He would sit with me and say, "it'll be amazing when baby is here tho, I get to show her off to the girls" 😂
My little dc love their baby sister dearly, one cried when we told him he was going to be a big brother with absolute joy. We filmed it and it's the most heartwarming reaction I've ever seen. It's just taken a lot from me physically and mentally. I know hg lasses who've had ptsd from their experience, I've not got that thankfully, I've needed some of my teeth rebuilt, which is sad because when I'm not pregnant I'm really big on looking after them. Physically that's the only lasting thing I've had.
But my family is here, it's been tough and definitely no more now, 4 was my number and 4 I have been blessed with. They became really close when I was in hospital in spring. My eldest took out dc2 to the park or soft play and dc3 is severely autistic and a dc1 would bring him treats home and do things like let him use his computer when he took dc2 out so I could have some peace.
DP has been a superhero and dc1 his sidekick.
I'm just all round grateful I've had them to support me.

I'm proud of myself for refusing to let hg determine how big my family got, but my level of stupidity to refuse to allow it to impact it also isn't lost on me. Sometimes I think, ffs Lauren, you idiot, you should have just collected dolls or cats, but I am so happy with my family I'm glad I am too arsey to let hg boss me around 😂

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Does anyone know what causes it? What's its purpose? Usually, I don't have a particularly delicate stomach so why would pregnancy affect it so badly?