Please sympathise

[PennyNotWise]

My child has been ill for 3 weeks, the last one in the hospital and I’m losing my shit. I’m so tired and now quite ill myself and feel like whenever I reach out to anyone they’re like “my kid has migraines” “do keep us updated” and “let us know when they can come to play”. I’m not being funny but I’m worried sick about her health, her life. My husband and I are alternating nights and it’s hard to support each other, he is good though, we just keep snapping at each other. Everything takes so long in the hospital and you just have to keep repeating yourself and each new professional seems to need the same information every day.

I feel like I should set up a service when this is all over, supporting parents who have sick kids, it’s just exhausting.

I guess I’m just moaning but I feel alone.

I’m so sorry.
Having spent so many hours in hospital, and many more to come, you have my sympathy. As if the worry wasn’t bad enough, the slowness and lack of continuity is very, very frustrating.
I hope your DD will be okay and you will all soon be home where you can, hopefully, get some much needed rest and recover from this traumatic time.

☕🍰💐🍫💪 <- best I can do. Wishing you all well.

Yep. Know how you feel I lived in a hospital beside my child for a year. I found the lack of privacy incredibly stressful there was no space to grieve what I was losing even as I was next to her

I hear you, @PennyNotWise . You aren't alone, although it does feel bloody lonely being where you are. It's horrible. I really hope you all get through this.

Massive sympathy. I've been there with DS and it's super hard. One school mum was messaging me with suggestions about what spice to sprinkle near my 14 month old's cot to help him breathe (she'd bumped into me the way to the GP that morning) just as he was being put on a ventilator in A&E. She wasn't to know that it was so much more serious that she thought, but it was so divorced from the reality of what I was going through.

Remember you don't have any obligations to friends etc, just focus on your family now. Talk to / message friends as far as that's helpful for you to get support, but don't feel obliged to spend time you should be spending with your child or trying to sleep/rest. Real friends understand you may need to go to ground. Or you could appoint one friend to keep others informed and off your back.

Good luck - really hope your DC is better soon.

Also, you are your husband are both exhausted and scared. A bit of snapping is normal. You may also both be trying to conceal from each other how scared you are, or he may be trying to be strong for you. Try to take a step back when you want to bite each other's head off and remember it is the stress and exhaustion talking

So sorry and sending love to you all

Oh god @coronafiona that is heartbreaking, I’m so sorry.
You're so right about the lack of privacy, I am quite an introvert and I guess that is another thing that tires you out.

Thank you @SummerInSun you're so right, I’m so surprised at how people want updates, as if we’re not preoccupied enough.

It’s so strange when you are in a serious situation and the world around you just carries on.
My brother has been on ICU for a week. I look about and see people just going about as normal and it’s weird. My world has stopped still and I feel like everyone else’s should have too.
For me I can cope with all the ICU stuff but it’s the little things that trigger my rage or tears. Like driving home and it starts raining, or litter or something else very trivial - it just tips me over the edge.

Oh @ThursdayTomorrow you hit the nail on the head. I don’t feel like I can just carry on as normal at all. I don’t care about anything else. My boss asked if I’d be in today and I just thought I can’t imagine ever coming in again! (How dramatic)
i hope your brother makes a swift recovery 🌼

It gets better- my mother: “can we do a video call later?” Noooooo
DD is a lot better and out of hosp thank god. We parents now have chest infections 😂

So pleased to hear your DD is back home! Take it slowly and gently. Plenty of time to make up for lost time with friends and family once you are all back to normal.

(Although in fairness to your mum, she has probably been very worried about her grandchild, and about you too.)

True, some people were video calling from the hospital, I couldn’t be doing with all that! I guess it’s a distraction for some, but for me a stress. Different strokes!
thank you for the advice, xx