Need a hand hold through separation, please.

[forjustnow]

I posted in here about 5 months ago when DH had disappeared on a drink & cocaine bender. Long story short. Married 10 years. 1 DD aged 4. Im in a professional job, he runs a business.

Over the last 5 years his drinking has shown a worrying pattern. This culminated in his disappearing for 2/3 nights. He’d then reappear, make an apt with a therapist, attend a session, never go back, not drink for 3 months then slowly it would creep back in, build up and the cycle repeats.

Ive rehearsed asking him to leave and n my head since last Christmas (2022). We finally had the conversation last night.

Im so sad. He has the potential to be wonderful. I didn’t think I’d be this sad. I’ve not slept. DD will be devastated.

I know it’s for the best but I expected to feel relief and I’m not sure I do. I feel shame, failure and worry.

Not even sure why I’m posting this. I kid wanted to write it down and someone to tell me it’ll be ok.

Huge hug. 💝 I've been there and it absolutely sucks.

you.will one day not remember this feeling as unimaginable that is.

You bravely have done the right thing for you and your DD and I'm really proud of you. xx

You've done the right thing for you and DD, and it will be OK. You need to start not seeing him as your responsibility to look after anymore.

You will be fine , I promise .
Each day you will get a little stronger and happier. Believe in yourself and never forget that you are worth more than this and you will be a better mother because you can focus on a life for your daughter and yourself without the distractions of someone else’s problems .

I left over 7 years ago and treasure with joy and delight all the memories I have with my daughter , I’d never change it . The many happy moments we have shared simply would not have been possible if I had stayed with her father .

Good luck and come here anytime you feel rough or just need a hand hold .
thats what we are here for 🥰

Just because it's the right decision doesn't mean it's easy. But it will be ok. Give yourself and your daughter time. It's a grieving process for what you had and what you imagined the future would be. You'll come out of it the other side stronger. Right now, one day at a time and know you're doing what's right for you and your little girl. X

Thank you all so much.

Well done OP I know it's hard but the right thing for you and DD. Teaching her a dysfunctional relationship is the key thing to avoid so you should be proud.

It's hard at first but you will be great longer term. I've been a lone parent for 14 years, my life is very peaceful.

Let's hope he can focus on coparenting with you successfully.

I've been through it, under different circumstances.

It was the hardest time of my life, but I am out the other side and you will make it too. Keep looking forward, that's where you'll find the life you deserve. You can do this. Just keep going.