Would you take this as a come on from a male?

[Planejaneisstunning]

Met through friends.
I hung out with him once which was cool, friends vibe.
The next day he says if I'm free the following week it'd be great to hang out again, like see a film or go for a drink or something.
Does it sound like a come on or just friendly? It's so hard to tell.
He didn't flirt at all when we met for coffee.

It were a female or a homosexual man I wouldn't even question it, it's weird.

Probably just friendly, but you'll soon find out when you go

True :) he hasn't used the word date at all or flirted whatsoever so..

Definitely a date.

I think that's an invitation to a date.

Using the word 'date' is a relatively recent thing tbh. I'd say treat it as friendly and see where it goes.

What makes it a date Vs friendly? Soo hard to tell. I'm the one who first asked him for coffee.

Blokes don’t generally ask single women out on their own unless they’re interested.

I wouldn't be too sure either. What would you like it to be?

As I say if a woman asked me that I wouldn't be questioning, but because it's a male it's somehow assumed it's a date. It's all so hard.

Yea because straight men don’t do that unless they’re interested.

Really? That's sad :(
What if I'd asked him, would he assume it's a date?
I know men and women who hang out together, both single yet nothing at all going on..

It's kinda like how do you make friends of the opposite sex? Must it only be in groups?

Friendly and interested, many blokes exist in a state of both

I also think that's a really outgoing thing to do, how did that fit with your perception of the person you hung out with? Lots of blokes also poor at communicating themselves and I wouldn't take lack of flirting the first time to be a sign someone wasn't interested.

There's only really one way to find out

We just chatted about work, hobbies, travel etc. And had a laugh. Stayed about 2 hours. Didn't even hug or anything, it felt 100% platonic.

If i had a male I saw in a friendly way, I'd happily hang out with them, whether that's to see a film, go for a walk, food, etc. However I'm too scared to ask as I worry they'll assume it's a date, even if it's just friendly.

People think the cinema is really intimate, but it's a very public place and you're sitting watching a film, you'd be sitting next to them in a café or whatever too.

So did you meet once through friends and then meet up again on your own? Because I think you've already been on a date! And to be honest, I can't think of any female friendships where I've met once through friends and then started hanging out on my own with them. Friendships tend to move slower than that.

That's right, well it was more like a meetup event except we both seemed to get on really well, it wasn't even flirty though, we just had a lot in common.

I have a female colleague and except for seeing her at lunchtime, the first time I saw her was the time I stayed over at her house!
That just wouldn't have happened with a male.
She was basically helping me for a night as it was before I moved into my new house.
I sometimes feel that male and female friendships will never be equal despite what people say.. it's a shame.

I take it from your response that you are not interested romantically in him.

Many, many years ago (nearly 50!) I had a lovely male friend who I went on walks with, saw bands with other people, listened to music at home etc. Definitely in the friend zone except I realised too late he had other feelings and so did I. The one that got away! He was just really nice and respectful not like the other guys I knew who wanted sex straight away. My loss.

No male and female friendships generally cannot be equal because usually men can’t keep it in their pants for long enough.

NOT ALL MEN OFC (caveat before people start getting the arse) but generally.

It might take years but at some point that male friend is going to try and shag you 🤷‍♀️

Oh but to answer your question if you absolutely have zero interest in seeing him romantically then you may want to either ask directly if it’s a friend date or date date or to tactically find out from your mutuals.

if you don’t fancy him and he thinks it’s a date then it’s going to be hella awkward when he goes in for a snog

I didn't get interested vibes from all and I thought he would be 'safe' to hang out with. I would like to go, I just don't know what it is.