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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I'm going to be stuck here forever

3 replies

jf1992x · 28/01/2024 19:25

Please be gentle. I'm mentally done in at this point ☹️ I just need a bit of hope I guess.

I have 2 beautiful babies, age 5 and age 16 months and I split up with their dad in June of this year. Not married or anything. We live in a house all together that is provided to my ex through his job, with just his name on the tenancy/job contract.

I applied for social housing the day we split up and was put on band B (A is the highest), but was told it was around a 2 year wait if I was bidding for flats. Houses will be 4/5 years or longer. I can't get a private rental. I'm unfortunately unable to work due to having suspected ME/CFS. Please no one roll their eyes. I used to before I got this horrific condition and it's just the worst thing in the world.

Private let's round here are around £700 for a 2 bed place. Even if I got accepted I couldn't afford it, even with full universal credit. I'm never going to get accepted though. The last estate agent I rang literally said I had zero chance when I explained my situation.

My ex is becoming increasingly more abusive to me but is extremely clever in his ways and is never physically abusive to me. It's psychological torture at this point though and I'm slowly losing the will to live. He's actively said he refuses to kick me out because he knows I'll get housed quicker, and with his work schedule he'd only see the kids once every 2 weeks and he doesn't want that obviously.

So... any tips? 😔 I feel like I've exhausted pretty much every option. My mum has said we categorically cannot go to hers. She has a 3 bed house and lives by herself but there's a lot of animosity there and we don't particularly get along.

I just don't feel like I can cope with this for much longer. I've only been on the housing list 6 months and it feels like an eternity

OP posts:
Wingingit11 · 28/01/2024 19:37

No advice bit just to say even without the housing issues it’s a tough life stage you’ve found yourself in, but it WILL pass and things WILL improve, please have faith in that.

Summerhillsquare · 28/01/2024 19:37

Womens aid. If he's coercive controlling they may be able to get you into a shelter.

Any work at all you could do, eg live in carer, property guardian?

Ilovethewild · 28/01/2024 19:57

You can present as homeless and you are likely to be offered temporary housing, may not be nearby, but if you don’t work then travelling to your job won’t be an issue.

depending on where u are, there is little social housing and no quick way to get it. Being homeless doesn’t usually get you social housing quicker (but I’m in London and it’s 30yrs on wtg lists here!)

most are offered private rented as benefits will usually cover the rent (assuming you are in UK),

go to your council/contact womens aid, you don’t have to stay somewhere and be abused.

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