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AIBU?

The ‘just have a cold swim and a bit of therapy to cure menopause’ narrative

12 replies

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/01/2024 17:01

Theres been a few things in the media recently about ‘have a bit of CBT to cure your menopause’ and this week it’s ‘have yourself a cold swim to cure your menopause’. It feels like a concerted attempt to move women away from the medical HRT model.

The narrative ‘menopause is a natural transition’ which is all very lovely if you sail through menopause with no symptoms. But women literally used to end up in asylums at this point in their lives and I would like to think we have moved on from the ‘have a cold swim love’ days.

Menopause made me suicidal and HRT stopped me feeling suicidal after a 4 year battle with my gaslighting doctor to actually get HRT. There are now shortages too and it’s often a dismal picture for women trying to get right treatment.

So Aibu to feel a bit ragey about these articles and commentators who make you feel bad and a failure if a bit of cold swimming didn’t help you with your natural menopause because you needed HRT to stop yourself losing your fucking mind and holding your life together.

Good article in guardian today about it!

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/28/bracing-dip-will-cure-us-of-menopause-will-it-remind-me-to-steer-clear-of-sewage

A bracing dip will cure us of the menopause, will it? Remind me to steer clear of the sewage | Catherine Bennett

A new study suggests a fashionable hobby could help with hot flushes and other symptoms

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/28/bracing-dip-will-cure-us-of-menopause-will-it-remind-me-to-steer-clear-of-sewage

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

32 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
3%
You are NOT being unreasonable
97%
Lottapianos · 28/01/2024 17:09

I'm with you OP. Yes menopause is a natural process but that doesn't mean that suffering through miserable symptoms is something that can be cured by supplements and cold water swimming. I'm all in favour of nutrition and exercise and being as healthy as possible, but how on earth is CBT supposed to help with joint pain or night sweats or memory problems? I will definitely be having HRT conversations when my symptoms really kick in

SoTiredArgh · 28/01/2024 17:10

Any illness or ailment that afflicts more women than men gets treated this way

Erectile dysfunction or male pattern baldness? Here's your treatment

ME/Chronic fatigue syndrome - sorry nothing we can do, all in your mind

Historically we were all just shipped off to the madhouse when we got ill as we were all suffering with hysteria!

SorrowsPrayers · 28/01/2024 17:11

I am with you, sister! And if this happened to men it would have been sorted years ago. Another thing that makes me livid( HRT hasn't cured the rage yet!)

HeadNW · 28/01/2024 17:12

I wouldn’t be without HRT. It’s been a game changer for me in my mid forties, when I thought I was going mad with perimenopause symptoms. Happy to try cold water swimming etc etc but not instead of HRT.

My periods are also ‘natural’ but they caused me absolute misery for decades until I was finally prescribed an antidepressant for PMDD in my 30s. Again, absolute game changer. I wish I’d been given them in my teens. I would’ve been spared so much suffering.

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/01/2024 17:15

@SorrowsPrayers yes I am not sure it’s cured my rage yet either 😂

I also read some absolute nonsense article last week about how HRT is anti- feminist. Just makes me want to scream fuck off at everyone!!

OP posts:
Comtesse · 28/01/2024 17:19

SoTiredArgh · 28/01/2024 17:10

Any illness or ailment that afflicts more women than men gets treated this way

Erectile dysfunction or male pattern baldness? Here's your treatment

ME/Chronic fatigue syndrome - sorry nothing we can do, all in your mind

Historically we were all just shipped off to the madhouse when we got ill as we were all suffering with hysteria!

I think Long Covid has been treated in a different way to many autoimmune conditions because more men seem to have been affected.

Not that there are solutions to Long Covid BUT it’s not (like ME) seen as something made up or psychosomatic.

So in short YANBU.

Paperbahhh · 28/01/2024 17:22

I cold swim. I have therapy. I also take HRT. I cold swam and had therapy before starting HRT (before knowing I was peri) and can confirm that HRT was necessary!!!!

Lightsideofthemoon · 28/01/2024 17:25

@Paperbahhh yes me too. I love cold swimming. But same- it didn’t replace my need for HRT as a cure and a ‘natural menopause’ as some kind of holy grail we should all aspire too!!

OP posts:
ProfessorPipsqueak · 28/01/2024 17:25

I'm utterly sick if the how the health system treats women tbh. Dh went to the Dr with a little bit of chest pain every now and then. He was seen by a cardiologist within 2 weeks who ran a load of tests and pronounced it to be a pulled muscle. I go to the Dr with chest pain, shortness of breat, palpitations, extreme tiredness and more, the Dr told me it was anxiety even though I knew it wasn't and told him so. 2 years later and having to travel 4.5 hours to be seen in a different country(not in the UK, get seen in a different country if waiting too long) and I get diagnosed with a condition.

Dh goes to see the Dr with some pain in his shoulder, gets an mri 1 week later and again just a pulled muscle. Me has pain in my hips so bad I can't sleep at night, had to have repeated Dr visits before 18mnths later I get referred for an mri and again get diagnosed with a condition.

I know it's kind of off topic but kind of not also. I hate seeing medical professionals, hate it. I leave almost everytime feeling like some kind of hysterical time waster. I know my body, I only ever go when I feel something is really not right but get fobbed off every time where dh gets treated like he is on deaths door everytime he pulls a fucking muscle.

FuglyHouse · 28/01/2024 17:28

I'm with you OP. Cold water swimming would have done fuck all to help the night sweats and hot flushes that kept me awake so much that I was no longer functional. I hate the implication that somehow you can overcome the worst menopause symptoms if you just try hard enough. I'm obviously lazy 😡

shellyleppard · 28/01/2024 17:33

Op..... I saw a female doctor about my extremely heavy periods when I first started with peri menopausal symptoms. She told me it was part of being a woman so get used to it. I finally had the coil after six years of yo yo periods and finally..... the menopause actually happened. I feel for anyone who is struggling because it was a very long nightmare for me.

Pinkocsb · 28/01/2024 17:38

HRT was a game changer for me, I was struggling so much before. Unfortunately I then got oestrogen positive breast cancer so not only have I had to stop the HRT but I have five years minimum of taking drugs to stop me making ANY oestrogen. It's f.ing awful. I just have to tell myself it is better than having cancer, which of course it is. Extreme Menopause.

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