To ask for some help with my 3 year old?

[Dontknowwhattodo123456]

I’ve always had a very wilful three year old DD. She has lots of energy so always spend a good amount of time outside with her. She started nursery recently and is running around, not wanting to sit still to eat her food (I must admit unless it’s chocolate or tomato pasta she’s not overly bothered about food so to make sure she gets a decent amount in her I’ll put something on the iPad and then she’ll happily sit and eat more. I know this isn’t a good habit and I now only do it if she’s not touching her food at all and it’s a last resort.)

shes fighting at school, has bit someone, bit a teaching assistant etc. never sits still. When everyone is sat eating shes the only one who will try and run around.
I understand it’s a big transition and adjustment for her.
she’s never bitten anyone before until nursery. She’s a very loving affectionate girl. Sounds to me like she’s overwhelmed by nursery. I just don’t know what to do.

I talk to her on the way to nursery and at home and talk about how it’s not nice to bite/hit people. That it’s important to listen to teachers etc and she gets upset and says sorry. But then the same thing happens the next day. She’s only 3 and I understand talking to her about her behaviour and expecting her to fully understand and remember her previous actions and for her to know not do it again is perhaps not fully fully within her grasp yet.

up until nursery she’s always been with me. I’ve noticed sometimes she can be overly stimulated, she was never the type of baby who would fall asleep easily etc takes her a while to wined down etc and she can get overexcited and perhaps run into someone in the playground but she’s never bit anyone or anything like that before.

feel like she’s being labelled as the bad child and I can’t help but feel like I’ve gone wrong somewhere as she’s my first. Perhaps I’m not firm enough. The whole thing is starting to upset me and I dread picking her up to hear what else she has done.

please help

am I not being firm enough?

please can someone offer some guidance on how to improve this situation?

Mines the same and after a year of parenting courses, ot and child psychologist we are down the path for adhd and ASD assessments but as he is only 4 they won't diagnose adhd for years

Does she have to go to nursery? How often is she there for and for how long?

Have the nursery offered any advice?

It must be really stressful for you but she won’t be the first child at the nursery that is like this.

How long has she been in nursery? How long are the days?

If most children have been there/in other childcare from 1yo they will have learned to comply with the routine - it's might just be taking her a while longer.

Can you reduce her hours? Ideally same number of days to keep the routine but collect her earlier?

I'd be stopping all screen time completely.

So sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. There’s nothing worse than dreading pick ups to hear bad things about your children.

My son’s 4 and has ASD. Do some research and see if the traits apply to your DD.

Children with ASD are often overly affected by screen time - sends them into like a hyper stimulated place and affects their behaviour in all kinds of ways. They can really easily form addictions to it.

If she’s not getting much in the way of nutrition this can also be a factor - have you tried cooking together. DS hates most things but will tend to eat them if he thinks he cooked it!

It could be that the nursery is poorly managed and the kids aren’t supervised as well as you think expect. It might all be a bit dog eat dog and the kids are getting stressed and lashing out.