Ex wants to meet me, bad idea?

[Sunshineonmywindowmakesmehappylikeishouldbe]

I was with my ex for a few years, split up a couple of months ago for good reasons. It was tough but I've definitely fully moved on, I like other men and I'm still on good terms with my ex.
I went back to the flat we lived in to get more stuff, he was there and it was all fine.
We still chat often but it's all good.
Anyway I've moved to the next town up and he's asked to come and see me there.
The cynical part of me is saying he wants to take advantage. I'm happy to meet him for a coffee, but certainly won't be inviting him round or anything.
Not sure what to think really. I have zero interest in dating him again.

I wouldn’t. Past is in the past. No point in going back on yourself. It’s literally a waste of your time.

trust your gut. he wants a bit of familiar comfortable sex with no strings. No good can come of it unless thats exactly what you want too.

You don’t want to date him again, so what would be the point? You don’t owe him your time.

He's an ex. You don't want to be with him anymore, and it sounds like this was your decision. He (presumably) is hoping for something more.

Don't do it. There's nothing in it for you.

do you really want to have to get over him again?

If you aren’t genuine friends, why bother?

And if you are, I suppose a coffee would be alright. Meh.

There’s no need for him to travel to your new town/home. If you want to meet him go back to an old place. Personally I’d say no, you need to move on. Too soon, too many potential feelings. If this was your new fella and his ex- what would you be thinking?

No, he's a cling-on. I'd be civil but cut down on the chats. Absolutely no home visits. You need to consider that any future partner is not going to be accepting of closeness between you an an ex boyfriend. Civil terms, sure nothing wrong with that, visits and continual messages - nope.

You're right. I actually left him because he didn't want to commit to me and kept messing me around, so it was sort of mutual.
I honestly don't even fancy him any more.
I will have a coffee but make it clear that's all.

I have zero interest in dating him again.

Then do not see him again. Why would you even go for a coffee? It's just leading him on and continuing the drama. It's such a daft thing to do. The relationship is over, so let it be over.

Yeah, I do see now it's a bad idea.
He expressed interest right after the break up at missing me etc but honestly doesn't anymore.
I even asked if he's dating anyone and he said he's just trying to work on himself.

Nope.

Absolutely not. He will try to lure you in and that's waste of your time.

@Sunshineonmywindowmakesmehappylikeishouldbe

OP Get all the rest of your stuff out of his flat in one go - otherwise it will feel like you have a foot in your old relationship and a foot in your new future. Take a friend to help you if that will help you vacate quickly.

Absolutely don't let him come and visit you in your new personal space - this is a new start for you - no need to confuse either him or yourself that he is firmly in your past. 🌹

If you’re the person I’m thinking of, DO NOT DO IT.

If you’re really over him why are you even considering it? And if you’re not, remember you threw him back for a very good reason and he’ll continue to not give you what you want. So leave it alone.

I would say No
Just get on with your new life and be happy
Good luck OP

If he really wanted us to be together and he was serious, he'd say so.
He doesn't need to come to my new living area just for that.
So I am very cynical and will be cancelling

Good. He wants to think he can continue to string you along - probably after a shag. Don’t get sucked back in because you think he might be shaping up. He really won’t.

Thank you for helping me see sense.

You’re doing so well 🙂 massive well done for moving on with your life.

When people who held you back see that you are moving on, they often try to draw you back in because it makes them feel uncomfortable being left behind. I wouldn't even be entertaining a coffee. You've moved on now and he is a part of your past.