Holiday with ex and kids

[Doppeydad]

Hi looking advice
Last year my ex wanted to go on holiday with our kids but didn't want me along as wanted time with kids which is totally reasonable but she wanted me to pay half the holiday, but I said no as wasn't going on the holiday AIBU?
Fast forward to this year and she said the wanted to go on holiday and I'm invited and said yeah that be lovely (we do all mostly get along) but once I had she then she said I had to pay for the whole holiday as she had to pay for the last one.........
I'm happy to pay half all the bills but not everything so refusing to so in her eyes I'm the bad guy yet again, AIBU?
What advice do you have for me to deal with the situation? I really love my kids and love a holiday away with them (which she knows) but hate being taken advantage of.

She’s being cheeky, just tell her you’ll take them by yourself like she did last year.

From what you have post, I would say she is BU. She wanted a holiday last year and she had one, of course she had to pay for it it was her holidaywith the kids. If you are going with them, paying half is the right thing to do. Otherwise, you have your own holiday with the kids.

I am separated, many years now, and I have never asked my ex to pay for the holiday. My choice my costs. That's how I see it.

Do ex really pay for holidays they are not part of?

Can she afford a holiday? Would you take them away by yourself? How old are the children? If she can afford the holiday then, yes she's out of order. Are you paying decent maintenance, or do you have them 50/50?

You're all being U thinking you could go on a holiday together without some conflict, when there was conflict last year.

I came on to say she may not be U depending on court orders/ divorce agreement. My ex hasn't paid the maintenance he owes for nearly 3 years now and then just told me what a shame it is that I'm not taking the children to visit my family in a lovely overseas location, how I'm denying my children this opportunity.... So I did point out that I don't have money for basics, I'm certainly not in a position to pay for flights.

Tempted to ask him to pay towards their flight, so if your situation is the exact same (are you him?!) then I'd say you are being U 😂

Does she only want you to go because she wants you to pay for it all. Unless you really want to go with her included, I would suggest 50/50 or take them on your own like she did last year.

I’d offer to pay half and go together or say you’ll take the kids away by yourself - you might have a better time doing this anyway, I always did!

That is madness 🤣

She takes them and pays
Or
You take them and pay
Or
Go together and go halves (why would you though!)

Have you taken them away alone? If not maybe pay for you and the kids because she paid for her and the kids last time.

But yeah she's clearly invited you along to pay, seems like you don't get on as well as you thought!

No wonder she is your ex! She is BU!

I'd just say no thanks, you take them on holiday on your own and I'll take them on a separate holiday.

This 👆

YANBU - just go with your kids and pay for the whole holiday like she did last year.

Cheeky
Nice to go together for the dc but only if she agrees to pay half

Literally this.