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AIBU?

Should I bother?

9 replies

tiredoftheBS · 27/01/2024 17:11

I will try to keep this short. 

I have been in my current job for nearly 7 years. I love what I do and the pay is good. Two years ago we had a complete change in leadership and all was going OK. 

Around 18 months ago they hired a new team member, let's call her Mary. Mary is the manager of another team, and at the same level as me in the structure.

Mary was lovely for the first 6 months but then turned into an absolute cow. She has single handedly ruined the atmosphere in the office. 

I've managed to steer clear of Mary as i'm rarely in the office but my team cannot avoid her. They have also raised the issue directly with my manager but he admitted to me last week, that he's never addressed anything with her directly. He's also told another colleague that he's hoping she will 'calm down' when her latest project is complete and that if not, he will speak with her. 

I will handle situations when I witness them, but it's evidently worse when i'm not there. My team don't want me to raise anything else with her as nothing changes and it will likely make life for them worse when i'm not there. They're looking to leave as soon as possible. We are all high performers with excellent results in the field we work in. 

If i'm honest, if i wasn't responsible for anyone else, Id probably be able to just ignore the problem but i can't. I am copied in to their replies when they're being unfairly attacked by this woman or I'll have them on the phone to me when they are upset. We work long hours and this aspect of the job has become draining. Line management was never this hard before Mary. 

I am in the final stages with another company but i've been really sad over the past couple of days. We're all being pushed out of jobs because of one person!! I have asked to speak with my bosses boss next week. Should I tell her what's happening, that i'm looking to leave? If this can be salvaged i'd happily stay there. 

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

20 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
5%
You are NOT being unreasonable
95%
Mnk711 · 27/01/2024 17:18

Yes absolutely tell seniors about it. I'd also follow up with your own boss again and tell him he needs to get a grip and tackle the issue or he will lose the whole team. Can you go to her manager as well, have you tried that in the past? If she's getting away with no consequences of course she will keep behaving badly.

tiredoftheBS · 27/01/2024 17:35

Sorry, I wasn't clear. Mary and I share a manager. He is absolutely aware of the problem and has witnessed it himself.

OP posts:
saltnvini · 27/01/2024 17:36

Just leave and mention Mary in your exit interview

tiredoftheBS · 27/01/2024 17:41

That's what I planned to do but It just feels shit. Everything else about the job is great.

OP posts:
WannabeMathematician · 27/01/2024 17:46

Tell her that several people have told you off the record that they are looking to leave? You don’t have to name names but say you’ve had people mention it?

tiredoftheBS · 29/01/2024 22:31

Well, I had the conversation today. While it went better than I expected, I believe it was raised with my manager in a meeting that went on for quite some time and was still ongoing when I left the office. I have no idea how it went, but I can’t imagine it went well. I’m now full of anxiety. Only time will tell 😳

OP posts:
MILTOBE · 29/01/2024 22:45

It's really awful when one person damages the workplace. I hope they make a good decision soon.

Mnk711 · 30/01/2024 18:50

Well done for raising it OP. I hope you get the right result and things get resolved.

cheddercherry · 30/01/2024 19:04

Hope you got the right results. So many bigger businesses seem to be turning over staff right now, hopefully they’ll sort the one than risk losing the many!

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