To ask about first phone safety advice for DD10

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After having a basic Nokia for 5 months DD10, year 6, is getting her first smart phone in a few weeks.

We're in the process of setting it up (it's one of our old phones, android) and have set up Google Family.

The plan is she can only have some games, kids youtube, and whatsapp.

And obviously parental controls on browsing etc.

We're planning on saying no phone in her bedroom, only 30 mins a day using it on school days, and maybe 2 hours on the weekend.

Would love to know what other's experiences are, tips, technical tips etc.

Following

When our DD got her first smartphone, we had a long chat about how people can pretend to be anyone so no making friends online. She could message someone she knew in real life and I reserved the right to check at random.
I also explained that lots of people put things online that she shouldn’t see. The rule of thumb was “If I come and sit next to you and watch something and it makes you feel uncomfortable then you probably shouldn’t be watching it.”

Keep the lines of communication open so she can tell you if something comes up that worries her.

Honestly I think she’s too young

All sounds reasonable to me. I've done the exact same on my daughters android phone, with the Google family app. It's great as you can lock the phone easily, or add a bit more time if needs be.

I seem to remember a problem with WhatsApp i don't think it would let her have it unless I told it she was 13 (I'm not sure if this was android though as I have 1 daughter with an iPhone and one with an android!)

Also be prepared for the "it's not fair, I'm the only kid in the entire universe with parental controls" " so and so is allowed on her phone 24/7 and on any app she wants" etc etc...

When you get chatting to other parents there are not many kids (if any) who DON'T have some form of parental control on their devices... No matter how convincing your child argues to the contrary 🤣

Monitor the WhatsApp convos - my
DD is a similar age and it caused so many dramas with all the different groups - kids getting removed/blocked from WhatsApp groups etc. At this age they just don't have the right etiquette yet and don't always think before they type. My DD knows I check her phone, and we've had a few convos off the back of it.

Oh yes DEFINITELY keep an eye on the WhatsApp messages! Would also avoid joining any large class WhatsApp groups too unless emotionally and socially mature (& I think that will be at a different age depending on the child)

Thanks all.
Oh yes definitely going to be keeping a close eye on the Whatsapp. That's actually been my main concern.
I remember what me and my girl friends got up to with the 3 way phone call facility on a land line so I am fully aware of how awry a world of Whatsapping tweens could get.
I think I will set a rule around group chats. Like, no group chats.

I have told her one of the rules is that I will have access to the phone daily. I like that idea of saying that if she's uncomfortable with me potentially seeing something then it's a good sign she shouldnt be engaging with it.

I think she is too young but my kids are adults and I know things have changed. My DSD was 11.5 when she got one and I wish they'd waited longer as her mood is definitely worse when she's been on her phone a lot.

As far as advice goes, set it up so that she cannot download any apps without parental approval. Avoid TikTok and Snapchat for as long as is humanly possible and make it absolutely clear that any misuse means she'll be back on the Nokia.

For those saying she is too young. I appreciate where you are coming from but she is now walking to and from school on her own, which is why she got the Nokia. I also got an air tag for her school bag.
That has been ok for the moment but both aren't always reliable. Texts are often really delayed, and the air tag doesn't always update location etc.
We pondered whether to make the step to a smart phone and decided that it was a fair time to get one.
Mainly so we can keep an eye on her using location sharing etc, and to communicate with her more reliably as she becomes more independent.
Also, the majority of her friends all have smartphones now as they too all travel to and from school alone now.
We held off for a long time, some even had smartphones in year 5, but she is starting to feel a little left out.
We figured it's easier to teach her sensible use of a smart phone now, in preparation for secondary school. We have a good relationship and she is a sensible and conscientious girl.. for now.. so we think it's a good time.

I agree OP that this is about the right age.
My child is 10.
She doesn't have a phone yet and I'm happy with that decision.
But I do think that now is about the right time for me to think about getting her one.
I will be looking at this.

Although I have to say many of her friends have had one before this.

DD had a phone from a similar age. We held off on what’s app for a while but the rule was and still is you need to know everyone in the group. We can check at any time and don’t ever write anything that you wouldn’t want anyone to see (anything can be screenshot and sent to others.)

We don’t have screen time restrictions apart from at night but the rule is you have to come off if asked. She frequently uses it to listen to music (she has Apple Music) and also Audible but often while doing something else so 30 minutes wouldn’t be long enough. I personally have not allowed YouTube kids, it’s still very easy to stumble upon inappropriate content and to start with we also disabled the internet browser so no unsupervised internet browsing.