Please help me with my weekends alone with 16 month old

[alonragaun]

I am exhausted. Grandparents involved but often away, like this weekend. Most people with families. I’m alone. I honestly feel so depressed it’s Saturday morning. Ds can’t walk far yet, not sure if relevant. I literally don’t know what to do. Used to be so good at coming up with things but I just feel like there’s nothing he properly enjoys yet like a zoo trip etc so it’s just a battle of a weekend. Please help :(

I'd do zoo anyway because it's for you not for him.

I feel your pain OP. It’s relentless and boring.

All the above are good ideas for breaking the day up for your little one but also build in stuff for you - at 1030 sit down with a coffee and a podcast (even if little one is needy), at 6 o’clock have a nice drink and crisps to make the evening feel special. You can watch a tv show of your choice as well providing it’s not murder/horror! Watch some old Bake Offs. Your little one might watch with you or play quietly.

Do you know any parent? Do your friends have kids roughly the same age? If so, meeting up helps pass the time.
I second going out. It felt like time stood still when indoors.
Is there anything that you can do that doesn't involve constant interaction with your child? Like cycling so he just looks at the sights and you're lost in your thoughts?

It does get better as they get closer to 2. They gain more awareness of their surroundings so animal parc trips are great, and they walk better too so are more independent on the playground. There is also a lot more possibility for interesting toys like Duplo and imaginative play.

My eldest didn't walk until he was 17 months so I completely understand where you are coming from! They only things he kind of enjoyed outside at that age were the playground, soft play and rhymes time, but he wasn't actually participating on his own so it was all a bit dull. For soft play on weekends, we go at the opening at 9am, it's only way for us to enjoy it as it gets too busy after.

Oh it sucks. The weather makes everything seem so much harder aswell. Even with a six year old it's a lot easier than age two but still struggle as a single parent keeping him entertained when off school. I do feel so much better for going out though so even a short walk or a trip to a shop or a cafe will make you feel better and break the day up. It's okay to have lazy days too where you just let them go bonkers in the house and watch TV Inbetween.

I’d encourage a nice long nap personally! Duplo is good - build towers, sort the colours, find the animals.

Swimming, library, duck pond, parks, beaches. Ride a bus or a train, kids love a trip upstairs on a bus.

Do you have any kid friendly museums or galleries nearby? My town has one with an annual ticket so you can go as many times as you like for free.

At home - playing in the bath is brilliant for the winter. Or make an indoor tent with blankets.

I used to take mine to B&Q when it was raining and didn’t want to go to a park. Lots of trolley racing and sitting on lawn mowers (and running down empty aisles when they could walk).

Thanks so much. Definitely going to get out today and at least walk somewhere.
Those saying it gets better at 18 months, in what way? @GreatGateauxsby i think you said this

It's relentless. I get that. I found that age a bit awkward. Old enough to do more with but never really seem that into it. It does get better. I say about 18 months to 2 years its easier when they talk more and you feel like you have company. At 3, as much as it sounds twee, I have my mini best friend. I mean yes its challenging in new ways (tantrums) but generally she's fun to be around.

Things we do /did

Kids cinema showings. Toddler time they're usually called. Usually in the morning. You can take your own drink and snacks in and have 30 mins to yourself (ish). They're very relaxed so no need for good cinema behaviour. Our local one is £3 for the two of us. We combine with a wander to a coffee shop after and the library or the works for a cheap book. Or the park after.

Softplay. Yes its busy. But not so bad if you have one with a good toddler area. Get there early and you can get an hour or so before its insanely busy.you have to play with them, but i often had some nice chats with parents in the toddler area because theyre probably as bored there as you!

Swimming. We do swimming on a sunday often. Goto the cafe in the pool, next door to the library. Its a good few hours gone and used to ensure a good nap!

Forests ans national trusts. These can seem more lonely solo. But a good hour or so out. I used to walk them alone with a young baby. Someone always used to chat to me. Kids encourage conversation in most people.

Look up your local children centres and libraries ours do some saturday morning sessions. Story time and the like.

Play towns. Little city and similar. Many do have weekend sessions. 16 months is getting to point they'll start to get it. One to think about over next few months. Also play cafes. We have an excellent one near us. Often have solo parents in there on weekends so always get chatting to someone.

For 5 minutes peace to yourself. Look up setting play things at home. We got a flisat table from ikea. At 16 months you still need to supervise a bit but you can use taste safe things in it. I someones do something really easy like a box of slightly stale cereal in, some diggers and apoons and cups. Put a table cloth on the floor underneath for easier clear up. Can also stick playdough in with cutters etc. Make taste safe if needed. Although at first they may not spend ages on it it improves over time. It used to give me a good 15-20 minutes. Now i get an hour.

I also had one this age in lockdown. Highly recommend a National Trust membership if you're near any. As soon as they opened after lockdown I went twice a week.

At this age I would just do what you want to do (within reason) and bring him along - hiking / museums / art galleries. Meeting up with other mums is a good way not to feel lonely and to pass the time. Echo what someone else said about NT membership. If you are a keen walker a backpack carrier is a good investment - you can then go on hikes etc.

Also swimming although a faff is really good for tiring them out.

Do you have pond local? Feeding the ducks and a nice walk will cost very little. Wrap up warm and take a flask / snacks and get out in the fresh air. I used to walk for miles with my two in the pram - great way to keep fit to! I'd also mooch round the local art gallery and find a little park with swings / slide. Certainly used to fill the day and we'd all go home tired ☺️

I agree with all the above, break the day into chunks and mix it up with doing practical stuff and fun stuff. I used to stick mine in the bath while I cleaned the rest off the bathroom, so I didn’t feel guilty sitting down and not doing chores when they napped or went to bed.

Does your child like their buggy? I used to stick my first baby in his buggy and walk for a few hours when he was that age. It was good exercise for me, fresh air for both of us and he was quite content looking at the world passing by.

I’d choose a park or activity to do a good hour’s walk away, so it took us out for a few hours. Really helped me not go mad!

I don't think it does get better at that age. I think that poster is filling you with false hope especially as you have a boy. Two and a half it does start to.

Also lots of sympathy here OP, I had this age during lockdown and it nearly broke me! But what lockdown did was make me find ways to make playing at home more interesting. For example, move toys around to different rooms. So if you usually do brio downstairs, take it upstairs. Honestly sounds simple but made such a difference! If you don’t already, start rotating toys to maintain interest. Give easy access to the Tupperware cupboard - lunch boxes and drinking bottles can be played with for hours and are easy to clean and clear up afterwards. Pick a theme for a day and try to build activities around it. For example trains - we’d watch a programme about a train, cut up bits of paper for DC to scribble on and then role play buying tickets. Then go out in the pram and go watch a train go past from a bridge, go to library and read a book about a train, then home to play with toy trains. Another day, pirates, farm, etc etc. I found it a lot easier to think of activities if I had a set theme to build it around.

Also if you have a bike I really recommend getting a seat for the back - you can get some exercise and little one will probably enjoy zooming along looking at things. Agree with pps on swimming - it’s the easiest way to fill a whole morning!

I really think this is the most exhausting age and it gets a lot easier in a few months when their attention span grows and they can play with something for more than 3 minutes!

Sorry youre finding it tough OP. Do a mixture of all the going out things suggested but also have a variety of activities at home to do and structure your days so they are different and you have things to look forward to.

You can still do stuff you normally enjoy if you plan and have back pack etc. like hiking, cycling (get bike with attachment for child) and find off road bike trails like old railway lines. Fresh air and noticing the seasons and nature really helps with mental and physical health for you both.

As PP said in a nursery the day has structure so can you do that at home to help you cope? (Also more interesting for DC). Keep toys in basketsmon shelf and get down different theme each day or week eg farm, water tray, playdough, music (eg hit saucepans, play songs, dance) sand, painting, junk modelling etc. Obviously at this young age it will be you doing a lot to help but children learn so fast if they are given the support and opportunity.

Break this up with snacktime, making lunch, garden time if you have one, workout and stretches to music, snuggling on sofa with book. Make sure you build in treats for yourself. Coffee and cake every week at fave cafe, film night for yourself. Try to meet other mums on their own and help each other, share playtimes, babysit, go out for an NT day together. Also can you share with your family how you are feeling because they might be being careful not to overstep and would happily include you in more if they knew? Sorry if this is inappropriate for your situation.

It gets much easier when they are three plus but these years are so precious when you look back and their little brains drink up all the new experiences. Wishing you and DC very well.

Can you fine a cafe or pub that has soft play attached. They're normally tiny so good for babies, feels a bit more adult than normal soft play and you can get some decent coffee and cake

Swimming lessons are good (or just swimming, if he already enjoys it and you're confident holding him) and take up loads of time as well by the time you've got changed

There must be other people in a similar position (single parent or partner works at the weekend) it's just working out how to find them - can you try mush or something?

Library as others have said?

If you have a farm park or kids museum or something near you it might be worth investing in a season pass (if weekend visits are allowed) as if you go more than a handful of times you've made back your money

Spring and summer will be easier as you can do parks, feeding ducks, and he will be a little bit older and walk further etc

Crossposted with Gemstar3😄

Can't walk or talk, this sounds delightful. I'd shop a lot and intersperse this with a little trip to the park or coffee out whilst they nap. Or have I forgotten how it is now mine is much older?

If shopping is expensive why not pick up a bargain in the charity shop and sell it, could become a little hobby to beat the boredom

Oh I also meant to say invest in a few rolls of masking tape - my DS used to love me making a road/track on the floor for toy cars/trains, or making a “web” to escape from, making boxes for stepping stones etc, lots of fun with masking tape and no damage to paint/floors/furniture! Also a disco light is great for winter when it gets dark early - you can put music and lights on and have an indoor disco. We also built a lot of obstacle courses in the house with sofa cushions etc and had an indoor scooter that could ride over them, but this is very space dependent.

Also forgot to mention - look up busytoddler on instagram and especially the “taby” resources she has (eg when they’re too old for baby activities but too young for toddlers).

Yes @Mistlebough sounds like we’re kindred spirits 😌

Have you joined Frolo for single parents? It was launched by the founder when she found herself in exactly this position. You can do meet ups with others in same position etc.

i made loads of local friends via it!