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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

15 month old waking up like this and I’m really struggling

29 replies

cringeaa · 27/01/2024 06:51

I’m a lone parent. Ds is 15 months and used to wake at a reasonable hour. It’s progressively got worse and worse and literally every day for the last month he’s woken 5 min earlier each day. Now we are at 5:30am and I’m just not coping with it. I know it probably doesn’t seem too bad but when you’re on your own 24/7 it’s awful. Why is he doing this? Please help. What can I do? I’ve tried adjusting the bedtime earlier and later but it makes no difference.

OP posts:
Jifmicroliquid · 27/01/2024 06:55

cringeaa · 27/01/2024 06:51

I’m a lone parent. Ds is 15 months and used to wake at a reasonable hour. It’s progressively got worse and worse and literally every day for the last month he’s woken 5 min earlier each day. Now we are at 5:30am and I’m just not coping with it. I know it probably doesn’t seem too bad but when you’re on your own 24/7 it’s awful. Why is he doing this? Please help. What can I do? I’ve tried adjusting the bedtime earlier and later but it makes no difference.

That’s my normal alarm time, weekends aswell (farm) so I don’t really see the problem, but could you put him in your bed at 5.30 and both have an extra hour or two together having a cuddle?

MamaBearsss · 27/01/2024 06:57

Hungry?

Mercedes45 · 27/01/2024 06:58

Jifmicroliquid · 27/01/2024 06:55

That’s my normal alarm time, weekends aswell (farm) so I don’t really see the problem, but could you put him in your bed at 5.30 and both have an extra hour or two together having a cuddle?

This is what I do. Currently lying in bed with my crazy 16 month old, who, for the last month has been awake for 2 hrs in the middle of the night. Keep telling myself it's just a phase

Mercedes45 · 27/01/2024 06:59

I should add, I give her a bottle and nappy change at the beginning of that 2 hr window. It usually starts around 3am or 4am

Toomuchgoingon79 · 27/01/2024 07:03

Cold? I wake really early naturally every morning, and it’s quite cold once you reach 4/5am

cringeaa · 27/01/2024 07:04

Thanks for replies. Almost 100% sure not hungry. It just seems like he’s suddenly more awake and raring to go. Yesterday when we got up he wasn’t desperate for food or anything. I don’t understand it as he’s usually asleep until 7:30

OP posts:
LapinR0se · 27/01/2024 07:04

It’s normally that the routine needs tweaking. Can you post his routine?

TeaspoonPocket · 27/01/2024 07:06

I voted YABU as it sound like your baby is sleeping really well for his age. Believe me it could be a LOT worse! I don't think it's unusual, or necessarily something you can 'fix', they just go through different stages.

However, I don't think you're being unreasonable to struggle with less sleep, especially if you don't have a partner there to take over while you have a nap/lie in. That's really hard. I know some people are early risers but that would get to me too. So I hope you find some good suggestions on here.

darlingsweetpea · 27/01/2024 07:06

If he naps in the day it might be worth looking at these too.

Lifestooshort71 · 27/01/2024 07:07

Couldn't just read and run 💐

BubbleBubbleBubbleBubblePop · 27/01/2024 07:08

Maybe he needs to drop the daytime nap?

cringeaa · 27/01/2024 07:10

nap varies from 30 mins to 1.5 hours, there’s never any correlation with his sleep at night though. I know it could be worse it’s just extremely hard on my own already and this is making me feel really low

OP posts:
2mummies1baby · 27/01/2024 07:14

What time do you go to bed OP? My baby is an early riser (usually any time from 5am, although it was 4am this morning and the earliest has been 3:40am!) and I cope by going to bed at 9pm every night.

UpsAndDowns13 · 27/01/2024 07:14

It's tough but pretty normal. My 6 year old is still up by 5:30am. It might be a phase though!

cringeaa · 27/01/2024 07:20

I just don’t understand why it’s changed. Not sure how to cope with this if this is how it’s going to be. Finding it so hard, been working all week and don’t have a moment to myself at all.

OP posts:
buckingmad · 27/01/2024 07:23

@cringeaa its rubbish but he’s a baby. Sleep isn’t linear, they go through phases. Go to bed early and bring him in for a cuddle when he wakes up and just ride it out.

I found just accepting whatever sleep I got and moving on made me happier overall than stressing over what I was missing.

Loopytiles · 27/01/2024 07:27

It might well change again. Perhaps you could try something different for a week, eg time limit on nap or later bed time, then if that doesn’t work try something else for a week?

one of my DC did this for a good while and I (sadly) went to bed early most nights.

MakeItToTheMoon · 27/01/2024 07:27

I remember this happening a few months ago with my DD at the same age. It definitely wasn't hunger, and nothing had changed in the routine.

But it felt like torture every day, as she kept waking up earlier and earlier and seemed like she just wanted to play!

It went on for a few weeks and in the end I was exhausted waking up at 4am and her not going back to sleep, I let DD cry it out for 5 minutes. Went in settled her and repeated until she fell asleep again. It took 20 minutes I think but worked. I only had to do it for two nights and it seemed to do the trick.

I think it may be a sleep regression (?) but it is hell when you are going through it.

ChiefEverythingOfficer · 27/01/2024 07:29

cringeaa · 27/01/2024 07:20

I just don’t understand why it’s changed. Not sure how to cope with this if this is how it’s going to be. Finding it so hard, been working all week and don’t have a moment to myself at all.

Go to bed earlier is the obvious solution.

violetcuriosity · 27/01/2024 07:30

I remember how hard this was as a lone parent, my oldest DD has gone through phases of this. I would limit the nap to an hour during the day. You will get used to it though OP as brutal as it is. Bring him into your bed and put something on your phone if you have to. Do what you need to do to cope x

Sirzy · 27/01/2024 07:30

One thing you can guarantee with children is just when you get used to one thing they will change it!

TV/ipad in bed with you for an hour while you doze or rest a bit is fine.

but really I would look at your routine. Can you change things so you go to bed earlier yourself

parietal · 27/01/2024 07:42

It is probably just a sleep regression that will pass in a few weeks. Stick to your normal routine without changing naps or bedtimes and that should help things settle quicker.

Also make the early mornings very dull - resettle calmly if possible, not much chat or eye contact. So he doesn't wake just for the fun stuff.

Isthisexpected · 27/01/2024 07:52

I would put him to bed much later and see what happens. Do it three nights in a row.

Given the situation you might have to choose between having no evening at all and being up at 5am... temporarily it will all change soon enough.

Don't drop the nap. Most babies still need some kind of nap until 3. So many people drop the nap early because of temporary issues then end up with a poor sleeper anyway.

Isthisexpected · 27/01/2024 07:53

parietal · 27/01/2024 07:42

It is probably just a sleep regression that will pass in a few weeks. Stick to your normal routine without changing naps or bedtimes and that should help things settle quicker.

Also make the early mornings very dull - resettle calmly if possible, not much chat or eye contact. So he doesn't wake just for the fun stuff.

This is the best advice really, but I doubt it feels possible to do nothing right now...

Setphaserstaemalky · 27/01/2024 08:10

cringeaa · 27/01/2024 07:20

I just don’t understand why it’s changed. Not sure how to cope with this if this is how it’s going to be. Finding it so hard, been working all week and don’t have a moment to myself at all.

It just does change sometimes. If he had a solid routine and pattern before it will likely change back. Try to just go with it for now and go to bed earlier.

My 2 year old went through the same phase of bedtime creeping earlier and earlier and then a period of 5 am wake ups at a similar age to yours. It's tough on your own so you have to go to bed earlier and then if you can't get him back to sleep or to sleep in bed with you for the rest of the morning, shut the two of you in the living room, make sure the living room is completely toddler proof, stick something on the telly and doze on the couch with him.

That will get you through. Then as a PP said, change some things but give it time to see what helps. Offer a supper of porridge and banana, weetabix with hot milk or something like this just before bed. Size up a nappy if you think the full nappy is waking him early, try white noise, check your heating is keeping his room warm enough in the early hours when the temperature has dropped, etc.

Then I would try this: when he wakes at 5, go in and give him a cuddle and say "shh, it's bedtime" and put him back to bed and leave. Don't put bright lights on when you do this. Leave and see what happens. If he's not upset but calls out again I'd keep doing that each time and see if it helps. Minimal interaction and less talking each time. So next time just "shhh" and back to bed. Then just put back to bed. Treat it like a night waking.

He might be too young to respond to this but give it a go. You'll know pretty quickly if it's not working yet and you can abandon it til he's a bit older. We tried it and our son was too young so we leaned into the 5am wakings for a while, dozing on the couch in the morning and trusting it would pass. Now he's older if we get random phases of early waking we can put him back to bed. This morning he woke at 5 but after a nappy change in the dim light, a quick drink, and being told "it's still night time and mummy and daddy are sleeping" he went back to bed til half 7.

Hang in there x