IDK why I am thinking so much about him atm but I just can't get him out of my head. It's getting worse, not better.
I'm rewatching a series we used to watch together and the theme song makes me cry every time but I can't stop. I'm now at a point in the series where we had separated and I didn't watch it with him. I want to call him after every episode to ask what he thought about it.
My job might be being made redundant soon. I need to speak to him about it. He would at the very least allow me to vent/rant and let me clear my own thoughts.
I don't get subnetting and I need to get subnetting and he wouldn't get it either but he would let me talk at him until I got it.
DD has a new boyfriend and I'm not sure how I feel about him. He would let me call him names and agree with me whether he actually agreed or not.
My dog is a tit. He would have helped.
I even miss the stupid arguments we had. It was soooo ridiculously easy to start an argument with him. If I was bored I would text him a simple text and he would bite - que 12 hour long argument in which I could claim the moral high ground.
It has almost been three years since he passed away and even though we were separated for almost 10 years prior he was my best friend. In my head we were always going to get back together once the kids left home. I think that's why I never started a new relationship. I didn't need to, I still had him.
But now I don't. And I need him. And I have no right to need him or to still love him or miss him because we weren't together. I was the bitch who broke his heart.
And I will never stop hating myself for that.