When MIL says "why can't you cope,you only have 2,what if you had 4?"

[flyonby]

Argghhhhhhhhh

Hate it when people say that.

It's not so black and white as that.

Also all children are different and she had lots of help with hre 4 children and aunts taking them for holidays etc.

For one thing in laws live away and my parents died a few years ago so it is literally DH and I .
A lot of the parents at the school have in laws who collect the children from school and have them for weekends etc ,we have never had that.

I know they are our children as MIL likes to point out but can't help feel envious sometimes that some people get time on there own with there DH/DP

Some people just take it for granted and don't know how lucky they are.

Ah the lovely in-laws...

I still haven't forgiven my FIL for saying to me 'Don't you ever iron? X (DH's mother) always found the time to iron shirts and she was a SAHM like you'

Oh it's so helpful isn't it.

Just wanted to say i have two dds and yes it is bl**dy hard work. We have no relatives near us and even when we lived near them they never offered to babysit.

Its the constant grind with no breaks - I think being a SAHM must be one of the toughest jobs on earth - and I adore my two and know I am really lucky to get this time with them.

You MIL has either forgotton what its like or, as she sent them to boarding school, has no idea what real life is like.

I sympathise. we have no help at all. My parents live 300 miles away, and won't visit, and we can't go there atm, because of germs. Dh's mum lives 150 miles away and we can't visit there because of germs, and she won't visit.

SO we are on our own.

(Children aren't particularly germ-ridden btw, just parents are overly paranoid!)

It's hard however many you have and however old they are. Every stage brings challenges.

I'm finding this holiday REALLY REALLY trying.

I don't remember ever feeling so alone and burdened when I was out at work, ever.

It is both unhelpful and unfair of your MIL to make judgements on how easy or difficult parenting is for you. Things were very different a generation ago and people's circumstances vary greatly.

That being said I have to agree with her about people helping themselves to things from her fridge. Her house, her rules. But she shouldn't be making comments on your children's eating habits; that is very rude I think.

i have 5 children and i dont think its any more stressful than when i had 2.

i dont have a MIL,thankfully,but my own mother has been known to come out with some 'helpful' comments in the past.

was this not the generation who were told to feed their babies every 4 hours and ignore them in between?

A very annoying thing that I would say tha most MIl like to rub in , including mine .

they forget that they had extended family round the corner wheras many of us live miles away from any family .

Rise above it - deep breath , glass of wine ....