Is my house total chaos because I grew up in the austere decades then didn't cope in the deluge of consumer goods available in recent decades?

[notknowledgeable]

So I grew up in a very make-do-and-mend culture, in the austere 70s, in a not very well off family. We saved up for good quality clothing and possessions, then they lasted and lasted, many decades, and we mended them if need be. If we saw a good quality bargain, we would take swift advantage, but these were few and far between.

These days there are bargains everywhere, and I still feel like I should be snapping them up when I see them - so I buy more than I need, regularly, books, tee-shirts, stationary, kitchenware....

By the same token, I don't get rid of things either. Because that would be a waste. And I might need it one day in 30 years time. And I was brought up to mend broken stuff.

Is this why my house is in a permanent state of looking like a jumble sale? Anyone else in their 60s-ish identify with this?

If not - how did you escape this house-jumble sale fate?

You declutter and minimalise one room then you get spurred on to do all the rest and then feel liberated!

I think what’s helped me to declutter is accepting just throwing it out if it’s near useless and if not and I don’t use it then accepting is better to let someone who would use it just have it

I escaped it by having the 'hm, do we really need that though' variation rather than the 'must buy if it's a bargain' one.

I'm not as old as you but I'm very similar, you should look up Swedish death cleaning on YouTube. I actively have to have a one in one out policy with all my things or I just end up with too many, especially because it seems like everything is a bargain! Just remember things are not in shortage at all any more and most things can be ordered next day delivery on Amazon or bought from a supermarket any day of the week!

Do you have children? They come with a lot of stuff but they grow out of it quickly. I have a basket that they put too small clothes in and when it's full it goes to charity. We usually give books and toys to charity too. I always pass books on that I'm done with yo book group so they don't clutter up the house and I hate shopping so really don't buy things unless I'm desperate. I find having 'winter' clothes and 'summer' clothes which I wash and pack away at the end of the season helps because I feel like I'm getting a refresh of my wardrobe without actually buying anything.

First work on the stopping buying things, before you try to declutter. Otherwise you'll just regret getting rid and go and rebuy "just in case"! Treat them as two separate problems.

There are some great videos on YouTube about decluttering.

I’m 60 and k don’t think like that. I hate clutter and hanging onto stuff. Loathe it.

DH in the other hand.

This could be me! I'm trying very hard at the moment with a No Spend 2024 - only buying stuff if it's on the list and necessary.

And I'm setting a timer for 15 minutes a day and de-cluttering stuff I don't need to go to charity. (Or bin, occasionally). I have about 8 bags of vacuum packed clothes under my bed all about 4 sizes too small - in case I lose the 5 stone in weight I've piled on in the last 15 years or so. It's ridiculous. I'm a size 20 and clearly never going to be a size 12 again...yet I'm hanging onto stuff.

You have just helped me understand my mother and mother in law a lot better! So thank you. They're also on their 60s and do this.

I’m in my mid 50s. Definitely didn’t have stuff as kids and have far too much now. We’ve moved a few times and I think that helps but it’s a drastic way to declutter 😄.

i now do a bit at a time and it does feel good to get it out of the house - I use Vinted, charity shops and only as a last resort do I actually throw anything away!

Are you me?😂

I mean, he hoards paper and documents not other stuff. But I long for a strategic fire.

My Mum is 80 this year and like this, though it is less about stuff coming in and more about stuff never going out because in a similar vein "it might be useful one day"

OP are you me? I’m a bit younger but with exactly the same attitude. I have tech that is ancient and no longer updates but it still works so I don’t replace it. I mend shoes, I take my clothes to be adjusted/mended (albeit the good stuff only), I’m unable to chuck a book, no matter how dire.

one thing that has saved me is I buy a lot more vintage or second hand so am less inclined to visit fast fashion or gadget stores. I don’t think I’ve bought new clothing for a couple of years now and I’ve dialled right down with the kitchen gadgets. Although that might be because I have less time to cook. However my DM comes to visit and will buy me random cushions and other crap I don’t need. Not to mention clothing she bought only because it was reduced and a “bargain”, then tries to palm it off to me as her house is heaving.

I'm in my late 60s so totally understand what you mean about not throwing stuff out. However I try to give things to charity shops or Freecycle. Last week I gave my granddad's broken violin away to someone who was going to polish it up and hang it on the wall and an unused video recorder to an elderly man who had lent his to someone and not got it back. It made them happy and I gained shelf space- win win.

I had to clear my late parents' house of a lifetime's possessions and I don't want my daughter to have to do the same. Even my 'valuable' collections of fabric scraps for quilting and odd balls of wool are boxed and labelled so she can repurpose or bin.

I go by the words of William Morris 'Have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.'

My mum is a bit like this - although she has improved in recent years - and I'm in my 30s and have sort of picked it up from her

Things that have helped;

• having a wishlist on my phone - things I actually need / items that are close to worn out and need replacing (as it's only a bargain if you need it)

• I love a charity shop rummage but again, I have a specific wish list (currently seeking a copy of "Mog on Fox Night" & "The Owl Who Was Afraid Of The Dark", for example, & I'd snap up a pasta maker if I saw one)

• I have a thought I keep returning to - you can see something lovely in a shop & admire it but that doesn't mean it has to come home with you (this one was a revelation, which sounds silly in hindsight)

• ornaments, decorative touches etc - my question is also "do I love this enough to dust it". It turns out that I love very few things that much

I'mvery much a work in progress but the above have reduced how much I bring into the home (although the effect is somewhat offset by having a toddler!)

I'm in my 30s and can relate.

The only reason my house is not a hoarders paradise is because I married a man whose mum is a minimalist and gets rid of stuff periodically.

So, he does the same.

If he wants to do a clear out of the garage or loft, I have to go out so I don't see what he's getting rid of. Whatever it is, I always seem to think "it will come in handy one day"

When my grandparents died, a lot of the stuff in their house came to us. It never came in handy for them either, so DH was ruthless about helping me sort "crap" (sorry nan!) from actual things with sentimental value.

By the same token, I don't get rid of things either. Because that would be a waste. And I might need it one day in 30 years time. And I was brought up to mend broken stuff.
I hear you, OP. DH is even worse than me at buying 'bargains' and keeping old stuff. Every now and then I have to chuck the worst items - often clothes e.g. shirts with the collar gone. Or items with holes ... "but that will do for gardening" says him

I am late 50s and my darling Mum chucked out all my childhood belongings when she downsized. I have absolutely nothing from my childhood! The knock on result is that I have saved all my children’s stuff and really struggled to get rid of anything…until we downsized and we hired a skip .
All the crap was chucked in it …best thing I ever did and funnily enough the kids really don’t care and I cannot remember what I threw out 😂

"Spending a fortune on Bargains" is a phrase I remember from a Monty Python sketch, of all things!

I'm 64 and am the reverse. I hate clutter and am constantly getting rid of things (mostly giving them away, not throwing out), and still think I have far too much. I don't buy much in the way of "things" any more, and haven't done for years. If I don't need or like something, out it goes, and while I like a bargain I only buy things I need. You actually sound more like my parents who were born in the 1930s.

I think there is also an element of a time when space was cheap and stuff was expensive. We live in a world which is the opposite now. My home is much smaller than either my in laws (massive hoarders) or my parents (not specifically hoarders but have so much space that there is absolutely no need to ever cull stuff and they also have sheds and garages and holiday homes with sheds so it’s going to be a BUG job eventually!). I have about 3 spare cupboards in the whole house or a damp cellar so it focussed the mind on what to keep. I can live a comfortable life or have a lot of stuff. I can’t do both.

I grew up in the 70s and early 80s and am absolutely the same. I have pencils that are 40 years old, but I can't throw them away because they're not worn down!!

I am like that exactly!

I hear you. I was also raised with very little spare money and few new belongings. However I became very good at decluttering when I had children and lived in a small flat as it was simply too unpleasant otherwise. I have kept my good habits and am not really very attached to belongings now. Marie Kondo was a great help to me when I was tripping over stuff.

House here is neat and tidy, everything organised, but there's just so much stuff. i wonder whether i do hold onto things because i grew up in a more austere way when things weren't as plentiful.

I am fascinated by photos of homes from 70s, 80s and 90s when there just wasn't so much stuff. Sometimes I think, how much crap does one human being need to be alive?