Aibu to say it’s impossible to leave toxic men

[MissingCanine]

So I have an escape fund…

but it doesn’t matter!

The council won’t house me because I’m either adequately housed, or I’m intentionally homeless.

i can’t rent even a two bed in this area as they want a guarantor that earns £57000 and I have no one!

can’t afford to buy.

so I’m stuck unless anyone has any bright ideas….

Women's aid then can you give emotional support as well as legal help with housing might be also worth speaking with shelter

Good luck op

Leaving the country is probably the easiest way to get a place to live these days.

Sorry OP, that sounds like a very tricky situation. Women's Aid will hopefully be able to provide some help.

It’s not impossible - but it is very hard. I fled my home due to DV, spent months in refuges miles away from home and family before approaching a council over 100 miles away from where I originally lived because it’s under emergency circumstances and you don’t have to meet their local criteria. I got quite lucky with the Council I approached and got housed in a temporary flat a week later and then a year later got the first house I bidded on that was permanent. So it’s quite a process!

Edited to add that it was so worth it though, I wouldn’t have got out of my relationship if I didn’t do all that and probably wouldn’t be alive now. It was the hardest but best thing I ever did.

Thanks for the replies.

its hard because if I accept a refuge place it will be miles away from home, I’ll have to take the kids out of school and my eldest has had problems with bullying and only just settled again…

and he doesn’t beat me. Just says awful stuff and it’s not a great environment for the kids.

but I can’t get out.

currently looking at a guarantor website if anyone has used them before -
might be an option

Don't use a guarantor website, they won't accept it anyway. Sadly even if you had the guarantor your issue is that you're a woman with a child and you're right it's almost impossible to rent anything anywhere as most places they have more people looking to rent than properties. That's why you'd have to find somewhere less popular, find a friend or family member with space for you or chance declaring yourself homeless. It's really awful. I know one mum who managed it but because she could buy a very small place that had been repossessed, she's made it a lovely home and it's been worth it. Good luck