To be feeling so down about another failed attempt at potty training?

[Itsourtrain]

About to put the mycarry potty and training pants for a third time …

I know he’ll get there when ready but I hate changing nappies at this age (3) it feels like a nod towards a babyhood long left behind.

Do they charge into an activity or sit back and watch how other children do it before trying it?

Sorry? I’m not sure what you mean.

When they're playing or trying something new, if they sit back and observe they're probably a perfectionist and the "don't care" is them being worried about getting it wrong.

Oh I see. No charges straight in. I did say he definitely is NOT a perfectionist!

My DS was v hard to train too we did get there the second time though I did nearly give up again, the turning point for us was this novelty potty which was v expensive but I was desperate - it made a noise when he weed in it and I can't really believe that was the thing that made him turn a bit of a corner with it but it was ! He's v strong willed and nothing other than his own motivation worked (as he just randomly loved this potty for abit and by the time it lost its appeal he had pretty much cracked it)
Sorry I'm not sure if that's any help but I do think for some children it's really really hard - you bound to feel disheartened but you will get there whether it's this time or if you try again later

It’s not necessary to get defensive about it. It’s a highly successful method with scientific backing due to the muscle memory of wearing a nappy. If it’s been such a struggle then I’m not sure why you’d dismiss highly successful methods.

Obviously they are not bare bummed for two months, but they could well be commando for 2 months.

I wasn’t trying to be defensive, just adding a bit of levity. However, it isn’t the only method and it doesn’t work for everyone. Also, as jokey as my comment was it had a serious undertone: clearly you do reach a point where life has to go on and they can’t go out naked!

Yes we had about 4 months of commando. Pull up/nappy at night. As soon as we put knickers on, he'd wet them. Just carried on. Whoopsie, didn't you feel it coming? Try again!
For poops you can tell it's going to happen and we'd plonk him on the potty or the toilet.

When I say commando, i do mean bare from the waist down. Though I added socks when the weather turned cooler. In fact I distinctly remember him running round the garden like that in high summer and was still going bare in October. When we got fed up with it -mostly because the cold weather was coming, we would start to get him to try every 40 minutes. I'd give him a book and say just try, or sit there and count to ten and then you can get up again. We still have accidents as in, he runs to the toilet but can't get his clothes down in time. That's maybe once every two weeks now.

A highly effective method though, as I say. If you haven’t already, I would ditch the training pants and give it an earnest shot.

2 months. Nope. I tried a week at a time and if they didn't get it left for a month then tried again.

I found sheet kitchen roll or cloth in nappy can help them feel wet to make them more aware.

Bare bum never worked with mine. Had to have underpants on.

Ours was pure perseverance and so many treats and stickers. 2 chocolate buttons for a wee and 4 for a poo

No naked from the waist down hasn’t worked here either (it’s also 🤢)

@BrieAndChilli How did he get through it at school? My DD will be 4 next month so starts school in September. I can't imagine she'll be toilet trained by then so I have no idea how we're going to cope around school.

DD has bowel issues and the GP says not to toilet train as it will just keep failing. Added to that we also have the same issue as @Wish44 in that she also doesn't care that she stinks.

We had a failed start when DD was 2 yrs 4 months. She cracked it 2 months later at Christmas and has always been dry at night. I know others who've had false starts too - don't worry. When they're ready it'll happen really quickly.

We were lucky that he had an understanding school who would change him and send his wet clothes home. They also worked with us to do regular toilet breaks and social stories to include going to the toilet. He was also being assessed for ASD at the same time but was very high functioning so didn’t end up with a full diagnosis.

he did have some teasing by another boy but it was dealt with swiftly. We quite quickly went back to nappies in reception and then progress to set like me pads that go inside normal pants.

Never met any normal functioning 6/7/8 year olds or adults wearing nappies though have you? Nope. So that theory is a bit of nonsense isn't it?

No I haven’t.

It is obviously aimed at children who are of potty training age, i.e 2/3/4 year olds.
Probably suggesting that starting and stopping will prolong the process and make it more difficult.
However, if you read my other comment I did apologise as I did not realise she had been potty training for a solid month.
I was just relaying what I had heard before ☺️

@BrieAndChilli Thanks for your reply. I think we'll have to hope that whatever school she manages to get into are understanding as neither me or DP have jobs that we can just leave to rush back to sort her out.

Warmer weather definitely helps in terms of your own sanity and cleaning up all the accidents. I honestly felt broken with my first, got so stressed. This little book has some common sense and words of encouragement. You'll get there in the end, honestly, but totally get your frustration & stress
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CP497JRW

You’re not alone OP :)

My DS is also 3 and we started potty training at xmas due to pressure from nursery and it hasn’t gone well because:

-He still isn’t telling us when he needs to go for a wee

-He doesn’t seem to care when he is wet

-I have a very clingy newborn and had a c section and haven’t been able to keep up with either dealing with the accidents or making sure he goes to the potty/toilet regularly

-It’s far too cold to take a potty out

In the end nursery could see how stressed I was getting eg they sent him home in pants and he weed himself in the 6 min car journey, got home and had a wet child and screaming hungry newborn.

Current situation is that nursery are putting him in pants during the day and encouraging him to sit on toilet a lot. It varies how much washing i come home with. At home he is in a nappy and i encourage him to do potty when I get a chance, and that is a battle as he mostly says no.

He does also have mild low muscle tone which could be causing the delay. HV told us not to worry about it and just to try later.

I think for me, I’d prefer he was trained by 4, but my ultimate goal is that he is trained for school.

Hi op. Went through similar but we got there. Just wanted to reassure you that it will be ok and he will get it. Whether it’s a couple of weeks or a few months. I know it’s a pain and you might feel judged but it’s ok. Quite a few kids are similar. It feels like you’re the only one but you’re not.

Hi, I was just wondering how it went in the end, as currently trying to train a 3 year old?