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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

..to ask husband to read the room / mood?

3 replies

GraspingforaClue · 25/01/2024 16:34

Good evening, thanks to all in advance. Wondering if I am being unreasonable to expect husband to vaguely read the room. Small stuff, but it drives me nuts. I’ll give examples: I’m struggling to get DS into school uniform / eat his breakfast / wash a few dishes from the night before / fold some laundry, all the morning rush, and DH is regaling me with stories of gob in his throat (ewww) and when I clear my throat in proxy recoil, he seizes on it like a gotcha moment and says, “you’ve got it too!” No, I haven’t. So silly. But. DS is coming his hair with the comb that I use — unbeknownst to him — to clear the suction pipe in a wee vacuum. I set him straight, he’s discomfited, I give him another comb, etc. all whilst DH is exclaiming, “I have a hole in these trousers!” It’s just a hole I discover in the inner lining of one pocket. So? I tell him. Not like he has to change. Duh. But Jesus this is not the moment to fuss about silly stuff. It’s the morning rush. Then, DS is missing a glove. Turns out he adorably put on his knit hat without noticing there was one glove still inside said hat. Adorable. But as we bicker ever so slightly about said glove, DH admonishes, in a tone of taking authority, “Come on, you two!” Which would be annoying on principle. But given that he’s been acting like a child himself (gob, hole in the pocket, eye roll) it’s intolerable. Another example: he comes home whilst DS is eating dinner. We have a garden in which he parks his motorcycle and he comes in the sliding door into the eat-in kitchen. Leaves the door open, whilst he adjusts motorcycle charging cable. Switch is in the house, cable is outside. I don’t nag about this as I get why he’s doing it. But DS is now eating dinner with a door open to the cold. I hope he will sort it and he does but then just stands in the doorway making faces at the dog who is at the other end of the house. I admonish him, as now I am fully triggered, just come in, for god’s sake, when you need to come in the back door, just come in, don’t hover when DS is eating dinner, and inevitably feel like a huge bitch. It’s just the daily tide of utterly clueless random stuff. Does anyone else feel like this? Like, you now have another child, and it sucks?

OP posts:
KnickerlessFlannel · 25/01/2024 16:43

Sounds like you don't like/respect him very much so the small things he does gave become huge in your mind. Nothing wrong with falling out of love, it happens. Guess the question is do you want to stick around to see if the spark comes back.

SecondHandFurniture · 25/01/2024 16:45

I don't love the phrase but it sounds like you have "the ick" which can be hard to come back from. DH will try and tell me some long story when I'm doing something else sometimes but I don't get angry about it, I'll just interrupt him if needs be.

RedHelenB · 25/01/2024 16:55

Just use your words. " sorry, I can't pay you attention right now I've got to sort the kids put first". Or " could you shut the door it's freezing".

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