My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To go to concert with ExH and son

19 replies

Moosicmad · 25/01/2024 15:36

There's a band playing a concert next week that myself, my son and ExH all love, and all want to go and see.
My partner says it's not right if we all go (without him, he doesn't like this band) it's wrong of me to go with ExH. He doesn't trust us! (Not sure why, it's not like anything would happen)

Background: divorced ExH10yr ago, met new partner 9yr, DS sees ExH every other weekend.
DP hates ExH says he's a useless dad and claims he has done more for my DS that ExH has.

So we'd get 3 seats together, its over an hours drive away and we would car share to get there.
My argument is I would actually be going with son, who would be going with his dad (my ExH)

AIBU to go to concert or not?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

96 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
16%
You are NOT being unreasonable
84%
SquirrelBlue · 25/01/2024 15:38

I appreciate that your current partner might feel threatened but honestly that's his problem not yours. This isn't a date with your ex. Like you said, you're going with your son and your ex happens to be going too. It's about your son not your partner.

Haydenn · 25/01/2024 15:39

You’ll have fun.

It’s not a bad thing at all for your son to see that mum and dad still get on and can be civil and have fun.

Your current partner sounds like a bit of a controlling prick

Crikeyisthatthetime · 25/01/2024 15:40

I'd go, if you get on well enough with exh, that's great.
But I'd be reassessing my relationship with my current partner. He sounds childish and jealous. All that who's the best dad nonsense. Total turn off.

buckeejit · 25/01/2024 15:40

I'd go. My dh isn't the boss of me. His jealousy is entirely his problem & it sounds like it would be a lovely thing for ds

2jacqi · 25/01/2024 16:07

@Moosicmad why would you even consider going anywhere with your ex??? i am with your dp. that is not on. who has book the tickets and why would they book 3 and not just 2???? how old is son and are you just planting yourself into this concert? sounds like it to me

Scutterbug · 25/01/2024 16:11

You should absolutely go. Your partner sounds very immature and should be setting an example to your son that parents can get on even after a split!

itsmyp4rty · 25/01/2024 16:25

Are you sure you're new partner is any better than the old one? He's sounds like an arse.

divinededacende · 25/01/2024 16:39

2jacqi · 25/01/2024 16:07

@Moosicmad why would you even consider going anywhere with your ex??? i am with your dp. that is not on. who has book the tickets and why would they book 3 and not just 2???? how old is son and are you just planting yourself into this concert? sounds like it to me

Edited

That's a pretty strong reaction and quite a bit of assumption on your part. Sounds like you're projecting your own experiences onto someone else as if your attitude to past partners is the absolute only approach.

divinededacende · 25/01/2024 16:42

Sorry, should have actually contributed something to the threat while I was replaying to the other poster.

There's nothing inherently wrong or unhealthy about going to a concert with your son and ex husband assuming you have a friendly enough relationship. It's good for your son to be able to have that experience with both his parents.

I see why your current partner might have a problem but it doesn't mean it should influence your decision. He might not like him but he's still your son's dad and you're both still parents together whether your partner likes it or not.

JadziaD · 25/01/2024 16:45

Unless there's some relevant back story - your ex was abusive or has been rude/unpleasant to you and/or your DP and/or your son, there's a history of difficult co-parenting... I honestly can't see why you wouldn't do this. Over the years there will be plenty of things at which the three of you will need to be present together so being able to do that, or even having things you enjoy together sounds like a great thing to me.

Nanny0gg · 25/01/2024 16:59

2jacqi · 25/01/2024 16:07

@Moosicmad why would you even consider going anywhere with your ex??? i am with your dp. that is not on. who has book the tickets and why would they book 3 and not just 2???? how old is son and are you just planting yourself into this concert? sounds like it to me

Edited

Some people manage civil relationships with their ex.

After all, they got along once...

Danikm151 · 25/01/2024 17:02

The most important person in this is your child. They will enjoy spending time with both their parents seeing a band you all like.
your partner needs to get over himself

LlynTegid · 25/01/2024 17:08

If it's some bedwetting music like Coldplay or some bad karaoke, then unreasonable. Otherwise, seems reasonable if you all share the same taste in music and your DS is going with you.

Would never happen in my family because our musical tastes are so varied from each other's.

migigo · 25/01/2024 17:14

I'd go, but my dp wouldn't have a problem with it (though in reality my dp would come too because he loves music, not done it though as live 150 miles apart)

Beargrumps22 · 25/01/2024 17:41

your partner sounds like he should be an ex as well
you are going for your son not your ex

Moosicmad · 25/01/2024 18:04

2jacqi · 25/01/2024 16:07

@Moosicmad why would you even consider going anywhere with your ex??? i am with your dp. that is not on. who has book the tickets and why would they book 3 and not just 2???? how old is son and are you just planting yourself into this concert? sounds like it to me

Edited

I have a sometimes amicable relationship with ExH, my son wanted to go, he is 13 yrs, I spoke with his dad and agreed we could all go as we all love the band.

OP posts:
Moosicmad · 25/01/2024 18:11

JadziaD · 25/01/2024 16:45

Unless there's some relevant back story - your ex was abusive or has been rude/unpleasant to you and/or your DP and/or your son, there's a history of difficult co-parenting... I honestly can't see why you wouldn't do this. Over the years there will be plenty of things at which the three of you will need to be present together so being able to do that, or even having things you enjoy together sounds like a great thing to me.

No abusive back story, I just had traumatic health issues after birth, long hospital stay put strain on marriage and sadly it broke down. It was an amicable divorce.
Yes we sometimes have co-parenting issues but don't all parents have blips over how they want to raise their kids?

OP posts:
Moosicmad · 25/01/2024 18:12

LlynTegid · 25/01/2024 17:08

If it's some bedwetting music like Coldplay or some bad karaoke, then unreasonable. Otherwise, seems reasonable if you all share the same taste in music and your DS is going with you.

Would never happen in my family because our musical tastes are so varied from each other's.

It's Depeche Mode 😅

OP posts:
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 25/01/2024 18:29

Then YAdefinitelyNBU! Depeche Mode are fantastic and you will NOT regret seeing them live!

Your 'partner' is being ridiculously childish, tantrumming about two parents acting like mature adults. In any case,he doesn't like Depeche Mode, so he's clearly in the wrong...

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.