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AIBU?

To think his symptoms are psychosomatic?

5 replies

GhostFaen · 25/01/2024 13:31

My son is 11 and started secondary school in September. He has a great friendship group from his primary school who come over to our house. They’re really lovely boys. I’ve heard of other friends, but as of yet they haven’t come over (he just hasn’t invited them, I haven’t said they can’t).

He had a great primary experience. Lovely class; found lessons easy; a bit lazy so coasted until pushed in y6, which was fab for him. Very into drama, art and maths.

Starting secondary had an altercation with an older boy once. School dealt with it well (he threatened to beat my son up because he questioned something he said. Other boy had form for that kind of behaviour.) My son had never been in that kind of situation before but seemed fine as there has been nothing since. He was really open about that situation.

In mid December, like most families, we had a virus (it wasn’t covid). Some of us were normal cold/flu symptoms and it dragged more for some than others. Son (11) had mild cold symptoms but really itchy, painful eyes. This has continued to today. The past couple of weeks I’ve had calls asking me to collect him 4/5 times.

I (and they) don’t think he’s making it up. He enjoys school. But he keeps getting sent to medical when teachers see his poor eyes (he’s not asking himself). He can go a week absolutely fine. Or he’s fine in the morning. But this is becoming a real problem.

We’ve been to the doctors. They think it’s post viral masking as allergy symptoms. (He gets mild hayfever so we’d already been using antihistamines to no effect. He says no one wears heavy scents near him (but would he notice necessarily) and from looking at his schedule it’s not the same classroom that it happens in ). That last one also suggests it’s not a certain lesson.

We have en eye test booked for next Friday (kids appointments are harder to get in our area) and then we’ll be back to the doctors if nothing is found.

I think it’s psychosomatic. Whether he’s worried about something in school or that he’s worried his eyes will hurt, so they start, but don’t know where to go if that is the case. He had appendicitis at 7yo that turned to peritonitis as they couldn’t believe that it could be appendicitis as he was masking the pain a lot (written in his file) but couldn’t have masked that well.
We are a very open family about emotions, but I know sometimes he holds back. Currently I haven’t felt that he is, but here we are, with me questioning it.

Any ideas? Has anyone been through similar?

OP posts:
GhostFaen · 25/01/2024 13:32

To add. I just want to help him. No matter WHY his eyes are hurting, they ARE.

OP posts:
Mumaway · 25/01/2024 13:43

Demodex mites? Very easy to treat with some wipes (off Amazon) and no harm in seeing if this is the cause?

PictureFrameWindow · 25/01/2024 13:48

Blephasol is an eyelid cleaner available from chemists and it's great. Use it with make up remover pads.

GhostFaen · 25/01/2024 13:51

Thank you both! I will order them (but only try one at a time).

To add as a general thought - we have been washing bedding twice a week (usually 1-1.5 weekly depending on when he brings it down - the kids bring it, I then wash and remake it), and have stopped using fabric softener, use non bio and always wash bedding above 60.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 25/01/2024 13:57

Anxiety etc in many children manifests as stomach aches.

In adults it is often headaches.

Itchy eyes is really unusual.

I would look at other causes first as if you can do something about it then it would help sensible to try rather than write it off as psychosomatic,

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