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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask either one of them this....

4 replies

greenandseen · 25/01/2024 06:09

Been dating a guy casually for a few months. He's actually fantastic but I'm moving away in Aug so it was never meant to be long term. It started just as friends and kind of evolved.

He stayed with me for 3 weeks recently while work was being done on his house. We had such a laugh in those few weeks.

It's kind of unspoken that we also both casually date other people. We never talk about the specifics but we chat about the perils of the dating world and whatnot.

I just woke up to a text from a lady we both know, who I suspect may be an old (or even current) flame of his, wishing me happy new year and asking how my 2024 was. She then went to on ask whether I'd been "hooking up" with anyone. I said no (not her business!) and she said she was having a great 2024 and hooking up with loads of people!

It seemed such a bizarre thing to ask and say!

I didn't ask any further questions but I suspect it might be to do with him. I am 1000% sure he's not in a relationship with her or anything like that. It's fairly well known in our circle of closer friends that he and I date and she'd have gotten wind of that.

Do I ask her why she's asking? Or do I raise it with him, perhaps?

Or do a protect my own peace and push it to the back of my mind?

(And yes, I acknowledge that spending so much time with someone with no long term prospect is a recipe for hurt feelings. That's a topic for another thread entirely, but not the question I'm asking here!)

OP posts:
MyLadyTheKingsMother · 25/01/2024 06:11

Just ignore it.

dudsville · 25/01/2024 06:32

I agree, ignore it. You've got confused by competing interests. If you're still moving away and this relationship has no future then chalk the feelings up to a lesson learned.

Whataretheodds · 25/01/2024 06:49

You could ask either of them, or both or neither.

But why do you need to know? If you're OK with the current temporary set-up, great. Her message is probably irrelevant. If you're not, change or end it.

greenandseen · 25/01/2024 07:46

Thanks all. Agree it is better left alone. Ignorance is bliss....

OP posts:
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