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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you don't work, what do you do?

45 replies

pinkstanleycup · 24/01/2024 23:54

Just that really.

How do you fill your day and stop yourself getting bored? Do you ever feel or get lonely?

OP posts:
HowDoYouSolveAProblemLikeMyRear · 24/01/2024 23:56

I home educate my 5 year old and look after my 3y and 10m.

No time to be bored 😉

Lefttodo · 25/01/2024 00:00

I never feel bored or lonely, here’s some of the things I do;

study
write
read
draw
paint
journal
music
films/tv
beach
walk
shopping
cinema
see friends and family
talk to people online/reply to messages from friends and family
contact family and friends
cooking
cleaning
diy
exercising
self care
puzzles - jigsaw and word
games
Learn the basics of a new language

EBearhug · 25/01/2024 00:01

Apply for jobs, answer questions from recruiters, get rejected for jobs.

Housework, laundry, gardening. Cooking/baking. Evening class and related homework. Reading. Crafts. Meet friends (that's essential for my mental health so I don't get too lonely.) Yoga. Swimming.

AnnieSnap · 25/01/2024 00:02

I live with a husband who doesn’t work either. We are both retired! We have 3 dogs that need walking, I meet up with friends weekly. Sewing, making clothes, bags, dog coats etc is my hobby, lots of reading. I used to go to the gym until I bought a large breed puppy in June (to go with our two little dogs). She needs lots of exercise, so I cancelled my membership. We do a fair bit of garden from early spring through autumn. We also both have a lively interest in current affairs and politics and have lots of debates about that and scientific matters (I’m a behavioural scientist, he’s a physical scientist and we learn from each other). Life is full 🙂

Tighginn · 25/01/2024 00:02

Chill

XenoBitch · 25/01/2024 00:03

I don't work.... not able to due to MH.
I sleep if I need to (and it is usually due to lack of spoons). I try and do crafts, but I have not managed much lately. I try to get out and see people, but that has been hard too.
I use DBT to try and get through my days.

StormKevin · 25/01/2024 00:06

I can’t guess what a lack of spoons is, Xeno, but I’d like to say I notice your posts and you always make a lot of sense (well to me anyway!)

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 25/01/2024 00:09

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory

XenoBitch · 25/01/2024 00:11

StormKevin · 25/01/2024 00:06

I can’t guess what a lack of spoons is, Xeno, but I’d like to say I notice your posts and you always make a lot of sense (well to me anyway!)

Aw, thanks. I just tell my truth and how it is.

Have a Google about Spoon Theory.

Mathsbabe · 25/01/2024 00:12

Almost every morning I head off to the gym or a craft group. Afternoons are pretty much the same, as are evenings but now choir is in the mix.
At home I read, knit, sew, spin, weave or make last. I need more hours in my day.
I volunteer for shout and enjoy spending time with friends

XenoBitch · 25/01/2024 00:14

Mathsbabe · 25/01/2024 00:12

Almost every morning I head off to the gym or a craft group. Afternoons are pretty much the same, as are evenings but now choir is in the mix.
At home I read, knit, sew, spin, weave or make last. I need more hours in my day.
I volunteer for shout and enjoy spending time with friends

I have used the Shout service a lot. It is fab! Thank you Smile

Raera · 25/01/2024 00:15

Prison independent monitor board
And chair school admission panel

HouseInTheMiddle · 25/01/2024 00:18

Walk ddog
Housework 1st house (daily, weekly stuff and maintenance)
Gardening (big garden, takes forever)
Housework 2nd house (weekly in summer, general maintenance jobs on top)
Gardening (not as big, much easier)
Housework 3rd house (no garden thankfully) go there once a month
Cooking
Pickleball (once a week)
Tennis (normally 4 times a week)
Read
Ski (twice a week)
Meet friends for coffee
Visit my elderly mother
Food shop

My dh works away during the week, at first it took a while to get used to it but now I'm fine. My adult ds lives at home so I'm not on my own as such. I don't feel lonely at all. My lifestyle is different to most (travelling between houses) but that's the way it is for our family.

IHateLegDay · 25/01/2024 00:19

I've been a SAHM for the past few years but they've both just started full time school.

  • I clean and run errands
  • I sell online so I'm usually at the post office with bags of boxes every day
  • I meet with friends/family
  • I help friends with childcare if needed
  • I go to the gym
  • MIL is recently widowed so I visit her a few times a week
  • I volunteer for the school
  • Sometimes I just nap 😂
HerRoyalNotness · 25/01/2024 00:19

i volunteered at school
did a degree online
volunteered for a sports club my Dc are in
saw friends occasionally
watched tv
used to crochet a bit
all the household/family admin

Walking2024now24days · 25/01/2024 00:19

Only boring people get bored.

why do you ask?

VeniVidiWeeWee · 25/01/2024 00:58

I live on my vast inherited wealth and hunt, shoot and fish in season.

Passingthethyme · 25/01/2024 01:06

AnnieSnap · 25/01/2024 00:02

I live with a husband who doesn’t work either. We are both retired! We have 3 dogs that need walking, I meet up with friends weekly. Sewing, making clothes, bags, dog coats etc is my hobby, lots of reading. I used to go to the gym until I bought a large breed puppy in June (to go with our two little dogs). She needs lots of exercise, so I cancelled my membership. We do a fair bit of garden from early spring through autumn. We also both have a lively interest in current affairs and politics and have lots of debates about that and scientific matters (I’m a behavioural scientist, he’s a physical scientist and we learn from each other). Life is full 🙂

Cute ☺️

SoLookUpTonight · 25/01/2024 01:10

I do the school run for my teen, look after animals, housework, run, swim, see friends, read, watch tv.

I don’t get bored or lonely, my partner works from home but even before that, I never got lonely. I have lots of animals for company but I like time by myself anyway.

Smokeyrobinson · 25/01/2024 01:13

I’m retired and it’s sheer bliss! My life is very full and I’m never bored. I do the following:

Look after my grandchildren one day a week
Sew
Knit
Bake
Admin for my husband’s business for half a day a week (he’s semi retired)
Read
Walk
Swim
Meet my friends for coffee/ lunch
Have days out with my husband to the coast and countryside
Watch TV
Sit out in my garden for hours (when it’s not raining!)
Chill
Have nice lie-ins
Breakfast in bed
Shop!

After first starting work in 1975 I feel like I’ve earned a lovely retirement and I feel so lucky I’ve been able to retire 4 years early.

DoAWheelie · 25/01/2024 01:28

I'm too disabled to work and have been for about 15 years. Socially I'm fine as my partner is here (he's also disabled so we're home together all the time) and we have visitors 2-3 nights a week for dinner and a film or board game.

I can't move for the first hour or so after I wake up as I seize up during the night so I wake up, take my meds and read in bed for an hour or so. Then we'll eat breakfast together.

I'll either start playing a video game, watch some tv/youtube, or work on one of my craft projects or chat online with friends. Sometimes I'll swap between the above a few times as I get bored, other times I'll do one all day as I get really into something. He'll be off at his PC writing with headphones on - he loves writing and always has a story on the go. We usually spend day times alone doing separate things but will stop for a talk 2-3 times during the day.

Late afternoon we'll both stop and plan out dinner. There are cooking tasks both of us can't do so it requires planning on who will do exactly what (i.e the cold air from the fridge/freezer sends him into a 10 min coughing fit so I need to do those bits, and I can't do stuff like bending down to open the oven etc). We are both foodies so enjoy the process and usually spend 2-3 hours from starting to eating.

We'll watch a tv show while we eat and then do something together in the evening. I sleep longer than him so he'll come sit with me for 20 mins as I go to bed then go back to his writing but we get up together in the mornings and repeat. Sometimes we'll have days out but those are usually when one of my parents are free and able to take us. That'll be much rarer now as my dad suddenly died a couple of weeks ago.

buttercupcake · 25/01/2024 01:34

Anything I want. It’s amazing.

TotHappy · 25/01/2024 01:37

Yes. I get bored and restless. But just finishing maternity leave and if I knew I wasn't going back I would have found something else to fill my time - it's knowing I will be mega busy and having put systems in place for my baby to be cared for elsewhere that means I'm bored. And lonely because husband is non communicative most evenings.

JellyWellyBoots · 25/01/2024 01:40

@Lefttodo Lockdown ended a while ago...

Lefttodo · 25/01/2024 01:53

JellyWellyBoots · 25/01/2024 01:40

@Lefttodo Lockdown ended a while ago...

I didn’t mention lockdown?