to think they would wait untill my gran dies

[amytheearwaxbanisher]

before they worry about her will!my gran has three to nine months to live more likely the three months and one of my uncles is sniffing around bringing her to solicitors and so on,he has previously robbed many relatives of thousands and is loaded,all my family are constantly discussing the will it doesnt seem to bother them the woman is alive and she should be the concern not what they wil get!she is not minted btw but owns a house so thats what its all about

Unfortunetly this is quite common,I have witnessed this type of behaviour many,many times.
Greed is a horrible trait.

Sorry to hear about your Gran

ugh, in very bad taste. The poor, poor woman. You have my sympathies on both counts, horrible situation.

Is she of sound mind? does she trust the uncle who is making her go to solicitors etc?

Death often brings out the worst in families

she is of very sound mind she went into hospital when the doc told her she had a clot on her lung the hospital thought she had tb!they had her in isolation for a month until they realised the fluid on her heart was from a tumor on it a cancerouus one but its secondary cancer and she is too old[75]and weak to go through exploritory surgery to find the original cancer let alone chemo and all that just think they are all so bad and not thinking of her she is very stubborn and doesnt seem to realise she is an old woman its all very hard thanks for posting back

So sorry to hear about your gran, and yes of course it is horrible to be so mercenary before she even dies. The only thing I would say however is my aunt died without making a will and it caused endless grief for my mum (well, my sister actually because my mum was just to upset to deal with anything). There's fine line between encouraging someone to sort out their affairs and being a complete ghoul.

I am so sorry your Gran is dying.

Mine was given 3-12 months to live and went after 2 1/2. She had had enough.

Her eldest son was only after her money and wasn't there for her once he got married.

My nan told me she didn't want either son to get the house money but both did.

One paid for his daughter's wedding for it. She was holding off getting hitched until Nan died and she could pay for it!

Sorry that your gran is dying.

However, if she is in sound mind then writing a will now is a good idea, then she can make her own wishes known. (From a tax point of view it's also better, although you probably aren't in the least bit interested in knowing this right now!)

It's horrible when people start behaving like the money is more important than the person. I'd love to know how people manage to justify this to themselves.

My DHs gran asked us what we wanted once she knew the end was nigh (sp?) - we said nothing we couldn't bare (sp?) to thik about her not being around - she thought this very weird as the rest of the family had already been round and told her exactley what they wanted to be left - she left me her sewing things which mean the world to me anyway!

Good God, are people really that heartless. I'm

I think it's so sad that she's ill.Maybe people focus on the money rather than the hurt that this person will no longer be around- sort of denial maybe? Or am I being naive?

• what a horrible and mean thing for your uncle to be doing. You should tell your gran, if she is able to do something she has always wanted to do (e.g. go on a cruise or on orient express) and spend what money she has on herself.

It sounds like you are on good terms with your grandmother. If you are comfortable discussing wills and finance with her, and she is comfortable discussing it with you (not everyone is) can you tell her your concerns?

Even if she's made a will recently she can make another, if she changes her mind about what her wishes are, and no-one else in the family needs to know what she's done

It is in poor taste but I think it is a good idea that everyone knows where they stand before someone dies - I would encourage your grandmother to write a will or confirm to you all that the one she has written is exactly as she wants it to be then put the matter to rest. Wills cause SO much resentment.

So sad about your gran...

My sister did the same with my grandads furniture...she was incrediably rude to him and ignored him most of the time...and the same to my mother in front of him (her dad) which I could see upset him, and even tho we never talked to him (stone deaf) I watched the expressions on his face...and he sometimes looked at me and I could see he knew what was going on... so when he passed away I was rather ed and to realise she had spoken to my mother years before and bagged all the furniture that was worth anything. Hurt all the more as my exp and his brother and I had all driven down in a hired van to move it...and it was all her's...and she didn't lift a finger to help, just expected us to do it. I nearly left when I realised what had happened...but my mother pursauded me to go ahead . What bothered me was the senitmental value I attached to just 2 pieces of furniture, both of which my sister had asked my mother for years ago. I was left with anything damaged ie woodworm/deeply scratched and belonged to other relatives in the past...ie no sentimental attachment for me.

I ended up telling my mother and father to remove me from their will so I never had to go through the grief of this again...I don't give a fig about the money...may all this money and all the belongings in the world make my sister happy . I however have the memories of my grandad and know that he loved me and he saw hopefully that I loved him back. Even tho we did never talk

Your uncle is basically an emotionally hollow person who will never be happy if he needs to stoop so low as trying to get peoples belongings before they have passed away. Best just to let it go. What goes around comes around.

Some people are just so greedy. Really sorry to hear about your nan. I hope your uncle realises what a total ass he is being and can start acting like a reasonable human being.

what appalling behaviour, money always seems to bring out the absolute worst money grabbing behaviour in people.

Im so sorry to hear about your Gran its so very hard

sorry to hear about your gran, amy.
Unfortunately there are a lot of families like this. MIL thought my 2 cousins would be very angry when my uncle married for a second time and had a child with his new wife, because their new sibling would take some of their inheritance! Luckily our family tend not to be like that and my cousins are very close to their little half-brother.
Greed is a horrible thing.

i would never mention it to her its none of my business what she does with her money and i dont think she needs to know her son is only starting to look after her for the money she doesnt need that thank you all for replying saw her today think she is on her way out poor woman