How wasps are here (spiders)

[flybyinalowride]

Can't stand them. Big giant black one on the white wall in the downstairs cloakroom. Tried fumigating with husband AuSavage but I think its encouraging it to be more aggressive. Every time I open the door and peek in he lifts his legs at me in a threatening manner

@Somatosensational you lightweight with your poxy Pyrex. I had a box camel spider in my room when I was a student, it had already bitten my leg to anaesthetise it and was lying in wait for me to fall asleep so it could come back and chew my calf muscle off. It jumped all round the room until we managed to trap it in a bucket. The RSPCA sent a spider expert out to collect it. He had a fancy reinforced bucket.

No I'm absolutely sure he's giving me evils. He's breached the chestnut force field and is invigorated by Dior Au Sauvage. Intelligence (peeking around the door) reports show that he's taken a hostage in his evil web of doom (wee s*der) and is complating total dominance of flybys home

I don’t know what I’d do if I saw someone walking to a park with a giant caterpillar slaying spider in a Pyrex dish. Buy you a wine on your way back? That’s really impressive.

My cats just follow them around. Watching them move and gazing at them dolefully. But if a beautiful butterfly makes its way in they conjure their inner demons and tear through everything in sight until it disappears from view.

I'd move house!! ♥️ Hopefully your hubby will be along to relocate the darling (disgustingly awful) thing soon enough 🤣😶‍🌫️

He's actually been caught by neighbour across the road relocating them into her bush

Oh really?
I used to live and let live until I got bitten, now they can stay out of my house or get hoovered.

I hate to make things worse but…

To answer your question about how they are getting in despite your conker force field, they aren’t “getting in”. Those big fat black house spiders have been living there all year round! Sorry! They’ve just come out of hiding now as they are feeling frisky and are looking for a mate. They spend the rest of the year lurking out of sight.

Luxury. I once had a black widow spider with 16 legs and 8 eyes in my room as a student (if you could call it a room, it was more of a cardboard box but without the sides) and it bit my leg clean off. I had to hop to the other side of the box, slipping in my own blood, to get the broom that was missing a handle and a brush so that I could beat it to within an inch of its life. A renowned entomologist came to collect it in the middle of the night but it was too big to fit in his bucket, so the AA had to come out and tow it away in a shipping crate.

Well you're a cruel sadistic biatch. You should have surrendered your house to the spider. You deserve to have been bitten because you're bigger than it 😂😂😂😂

@Somatosensational well... I got eaten by a great white shark. Yesterday. I'm DEAD.

Well you tried to suffocate it with aftershave which is pretty sadistic. I'm glad your neighbour had some compassion for the spider and removed it for you

Somatos a spider bit your leg off??

Spider of the Sea they called him, on account of his spindly fins. He ate my mum for pudding.

Anyway … we stopped for a drink at the most haunted pub in Scotland. Think it was about 16th century. Really medieval and it occurred to me that all the spiders living there were descended from Middle Ages spiders

Spare pants read before you post. My husband takes alive spides across the road and puts them in 'over there'neighbour's bush. She's seen him do it and hasn't complained

But so are you OP! Not descended from Middle Ages spiders, obv, but from genuine Middle Ages people.
Anything interesting in that pub apart from spiders?

Cobwebs were probably medieval too. Absolutely filthy

Mustn't disturb the spirits I guess.

lol you're so right. Maybe they shouldn't use a hoover 😂

Some strange posts on here tonight

They’ve just come out of hiding now as they are feeling frisky and are looking for a mate.
And now they're on the pull wearing Eau Savage

They don't 'get in'.

They already are 'in'. Most of the spiders you find in your house were born and bred in your house. (The very few that weren't would appreciate the glass and card trick as they'd prefer to be out and only got in by accident probably on your clothing or stuff you brought in.)

You can't keep them out, and if you could your house wouldn't be an environment you could actually live in.

You're just bloody weird, or have been on the Sherry.
You deseve the pile on. What a cruel thing to do to an innocent creature.
I don't like spiders but I won't torture them or kill them.

No, I'm sorry @JaneJeffer but that is just too early. They are allowed to rent my rooms in March and October for their love fests, and that is it. March and .October. Not a day sooner, and not a day later.

I also have two house* *rules.

a) They have to keep out of my sight. If I see either (any, if they intend to have an orgy) of them - even a leg disappearing around a corner - they will be evicted immediately, and will be blacklisted in the future.

b) They have to clean up after themselves. I don't want to find any tiny, sticky, salty, white globules dripping down my walls, and I definitely don't want to find any sacs of eggs nestled into any corners, or anywhere for that matter.

La la la la la la laaa la La da da da da da Laaaaaa 🗣🎵🎵🎵 🙉