Best way to handle this - am I over reacting here?

[bagpuss90]

I go to an exercise class every week. Me and another lady are class reps - we organise socials etc. Ive always found her a bit domineering . I always run stuff past her before I do it. She just goes ahead. I’ve been out of action for a bit due to family problems. Back in action now tho and the family situation is not ongoing . I spoke to the other rep last week and thanked her for doing everything ( I’ve stayed in contact throughout) stressed that I was looking forward to playing a more active role . I suggested i organise a night out (we’ve not done that before - just lunches) she agreed. Fast forward to this week - we all went for coffee after our class . She stood up and said she’d thought a night out would be a good idea and she was going to organise it. Everyone was yeh - what I good idea. Okay no one has died - but AIBU in this getting up my nose a bit and feeling she’s just pushed me out ?

I know it is easy to say after the event but you could have said something at the time.. offered to organise as you are glad she liked your idea? Or just accept it and allow her to organise it and maybe don’t run ideas past her first next time.

I did say I’d organise it

Why the need for reps? Surely people just make a suggestion and people attend if they want?

So is it the fact that it looks like it was her idea that is bugging you? Second part of my post still stands

That would annoy me! If you enjoy organising things then the next time just go for it. Don't run it by her. Let her organise this event on her own. She's maybe got used to being the queen bee and you'll only look petty if you say it was your idea, much as I would want to. Or, "Mary, I'm so glad you've brought this up after I suggested it to you. I had thought we could go to ... What does everyone else think?"
But I suppose that's a bit passive aggressive

She sounds exhausting. Honestly, if the whole "class monitor" thing means that much to her I'd just let her have it and enjoy the class. Life is too short to wrestle a pig.

A class rep for an exercise class? Are there 100's of you in the class or something?

Gizlotsmum
I’m not bothered about that so much. I just feel pushed out . I don’t want it to be a battle between us. But it would be nice to work together

I always run stuff past her before I do it.

So stop already. She isn't asking you for your input or agreement, don't ask for hers. If you have an idea for an event, plan it and send out the invites.

Heartbreaktuna
Theres loads of classes with the same company - the teacher wanted some pressure taken off of her

Oh I would just tell her you’re quitting and let her organise it all. Make an excuse if you need to. People like that are just not worth the energy.

You both sound exhausting! This isn't the Iowa caucus, it involves sending a WhatsApp saying 'What night would suit people to go for a drink?'

Why does a weekly exercise class need class reps, anyway?

We have them in my university department because we have huge student numbers, and class reps attend meetings with lecturing staff to pass on issues, complaints etc -- but surely your numbers aren't high enough to preclude individuals just approaching the teacher about any issues?

It al sounds a bit busy body-esque, both of you. It’s meant to be fun. All the classes and groups I’m a member of have a WhatsApp group which people can join if they want to and then people suggest things at random and volunteer to arrange. It’s more democratic and avoids all this head girl competitive nonsense. I suspect the rest your class would prefer stuff was organised that way.

You suggesting a night out was hardly some groundbreaking proposal of an idea which she’s stolen your thunder on. I really couldn’t bring myself to be bothered that somebody else had offered to do the organising of it.

MermaidProject
I’ve already explained it was to take the pressure off the over worked teacher. I wouldn’t say I was exhausting- like i said no one has died . I just find her domineering . And yep very trivial in the grand scheme of things - but I was a tad pissed iff this morning

ComtesseDeSpair
I’d much prefer that

If you have an idea, run with it yourself. Stop running things by her.

Best way to handle it - let this one slide but stop running stuff by her. She isn't the overall captain, she's a rep just like you.

Perhaps try to think of something that you could organise (do the prep work before you announce it) for a month or so after "her" drinks night but be the primary contact on it.

Or you could 100% hand over the reins to her to be the social secretary for the group and then if/when things go wrong, you can step in again.

I saw your post, but I don't understand how having two class reps for a weekly exercise class takes any 'pressure off an overworked teacher'.

Surely the teacher isn't responsible for organising after-class coffee or nights out?

Why don't you just change to a WhatsApp group for the class? Both of you could be the group admins if you felt the need to have some kind of status. I bet there are already WhatsApp groups of class members who want to meet up or chat outside of the class.

MermaidProject
Everyone wanted to have a social life off the back of the class - I just don’t think she has the time to organise socials. Hence where we came in

I’m not bothered about that so much. I just feel pushed out . I don’t want it to be a battle between us. But it would be nice to work together

It's not work. It's socialising after an exercise class. Ease off and go with the flow. It's meant to be enjoyable. So she mentioned going for a meal - so what? You said that's what you wanted and she's run with it. There's no awards for being the one suggesting/organising it. As for this overworked teacher, she's not in KS4, it's an exercise class for adults. If they want to go for drinks after, there's nothing for her to do or not do about it. This is all out of proportion.

Then raise the idea that it’s more efficient to do it that way. Because it is. Surely having to do all the arrangements in person before or after class is a faff? I don’t know about you, but between my work and my many friends, I do enough planning and organising and ironing out logistics. The other week I mentioned in a WhatsApp group the Handmaid’s Tale at ENO looked good, if anyone fancied going. A few people agreed. Somebody else who thought they could arrange a deal on tickets through some sort of discount they get offered to look into it and book. Brilliant. I’m PayPal-ing my ticket money and showing up on the night. I’m not going to get my knickers twisted about it being my idea that somebody else has now “taken over.” This is a win-win situation. I’m interested in socialising, not whose idea it was – and I’m fairly certain the rest of your class feel the same way and don’t give two shits who came up with the idea of a night out.

I still don't understand the need for a rep? Surely at the end of a class throw suggestions out and agree and leave the teacher out of it?

I've done countless groups and classes never heard of a rep.

I think the teacher was getting worn out organising like 12 Christmas do’s and wanted to get someone else to do it . The term rep sounds a bit OTT I know

Let her crack on. She knows it was your idea.

Don't run anything by her again or set her up by saying that a few ladies have mentioned wanting to see a Jimmy Tarbuck tribute night or other similar horror local to you and hopefully she'll be the 'Big I am' and suggest it at coffee time whilst you sit there and smirk.

Is this ((BOUNCE)) by any chance?