Would you complain? Very rude hospital receptionist

[theprincessthepea]

Background
I had a blood test that I couldn’t make. My midwife booked it for the early morning, with only 2 days notice and it clashed with the school run which I couldn’t get childcare for. This is the second time they’ve had to reschedule this blood test. I take full responsibility.

What happened?
Although I couldn’t make the blood test I decided to go into the hospital anyway. I was about 30 minutes late. I expected them not to see me, so I went in to rebook the appointment as whenever I have tried to book it via telephone or the app it didn’t work.

I mentioned this to the receptionist on the maternity unit. I told her I need to do the blood test but have to rebook it for a certain time.

She went ballistic. She told me that I shouldn’t be missing appointments and they will put a note on my record to show that I’m an incapable parent. She then hinted that because I’m of a “minority ethnic” group I’m more likely to get a social worker visit. And because I mentioned that I was doing the school run then rushed over to the hospital. She said they will look into my other child to find out why I can’t find alternative childcare.

She went on and on, this was an open reception. She had a come back for everything that I said, and despite me mentioning I was at the hospital with another midwife 2 days prior (who told me to reschedule with her department) she went on about how I was making up excuses in an aggressive tone.

I was so angry after that, I teared up on my way out and felt so angry.

Has anyone ever been spoken to like this? AIBU to want to write a letter to complain? What would you do?

Which part of this don’t you believe happened. The receptionist being rude or the mentioning of ethnicity? I can assure you this does happen, but I guess you won’t believe it because it didn’t happen to you…

People saying cancel , have you tried to do that recently , at some hospitals it seems to be near in impossible to get through at all . I spent almost 3 hours trying to cancel my df appointment the other day because he had actually been admitted to another hospital who said I still needed to cancel because their system and the original hospital’s system didn’t communicate . It was a farce and hopelessly inefficient and arcane

Why are all you previous posters ignoring the fact that OP said she tried to rebook the appointment via the app AND telephone?

i work in healthcare and would be absolutely furious if a receptionist spoke to my patients like that in a public waiting area. Absolutely report this to PALS.

Are there any drop in clinics for blood tests? Results should be accessible for the midwife

Not ignoring it, just can read it properly. She doesn't say she tried to rebook it phone or online for this appointment- it was previous appointments. She didn't try for this appointment.

It does seem bizarre that you were threatened with an SS referral due to a) your ethnicity and b) not being able to attend a blood test.
Was she accusing you of child neglect? It’s so odd.

Can you come back and give details of what was said?

If anyone spoke to me like that I would complain

I also would have cancelled the appt - or asked the midwife to do it

Ah OP…

If you’re in England or Wales, look for PALS on Trust/Board website; in Scotland, PASS; & contact them. If you’re in NI, you can ask the PCC for advocacy support & help with the complaint process.

As well as your name, put your hospital number into the email; if you got the receptionist’s name include that (if not, the time & exact location); & be clear about who said what to whom.

It’s not clear in your OP if you agreed to attend the appointment & then couldn’t make it; or if it was just booked & the appointment sent to you & you weren’t able to rebook it in the two days between receiving the details & this morning. (2 days? So it was booked on Sunday morning?) Some more clarity on why you’ve needed to have the appointment moved twice & if you thought you would be able to get there this morning but couldn’t at the last minute or if tech issues prevented rebooking would be helpful both here & when you complain.

Missing appointments without really good reason isn’t ok; & it will be hugely frustrating for the receptionist & for clinical staff. However, it’s not acceptable to threaten you - which is what you’re describing^ - nor is aggression acceptable.

Lots of parents wouldn’t have alternative childcare available for the school-run. Social Services would be concerned if you left your other child with an unsuitable adult or decided that in order to go to your hospital appointment you’d leave your 4yo home alone to get ready for school & then get themselves there.

Look after yourself OP.

^ it is hugely frustrating but the support of Social Services, which should be a positive, gets weaponised in this fashion: there’s a huge power imbalance here & if the receptionist is white it’s even worse 🤦‍♀️

Why not just go to your appointments without such a fuss?

Also there's a difference between an agreed appointment time and one that is just issued- those that are just issued are often at short notice and don't work , so actually also a system problem.

Patients are late for appointments all the time (usually can't park)or they get confused and turn up on a completely different day. Some patients don't attend for a good reason like there was a family emergency. Even the ones who are just inconsiderate you have to be polite to.

I work for the NHS and have definitely encountered rottweilers like this. Complain. She needs bringing down a peg or two.

Also blood tests can often be sqwuished in if you are late. Talk about jobsworth. This had better be true OP as I'm furious on your behalf. But at the same time don't have any colleagues who would EVER behave like this.

Though midwives can be horrifically bossy

I accept where I went wrong. Yes I should have cancelled and thought I could reschedule through my midwife as it took weeks to get it in the diary after December.

My post is more about her reaction.

There is a polite way to make a patient aware of cancellation policies.

I wish I recorded it all.
To paraphrase a long rant @TomeTome

Me: My appointment was meant to be at 7am but the midwifery team told me that I can come to your department to reschedule.

her: Well it’s marked as a missed appointment now. You shouldn’t be missing appointments. If you keep missing appointments your record will be flagged up and there will add a note to show that you need to be looked into….
(other things said, mixed with me apologising and saying that I messaged my midwife and told her I can’t make it. Based on the convo I had with the midwives in the floor below they told me to come up to her floor. I also showed her that my app wasn’t working which is where the info was so it turned out I was on the wrong floor).

… well your midwife might not pick up her phone. She might be on her way to work. You need to find childcare, many women make it work and come to every appointment and have kids. If you keep missing or postponing appointments and using your other child as an excuse they will start to wonder why you don’t have additional support. Then they will involve social services, especially as you know, with your, you know (I knew this part was about race), then they will look into your home life. Especially these days they are strict about children. I don’t want that for you. Also they will stop your maternity care here as you don’t seem to be taking your care seriously, and will ask you to find care elsewhere …”

She did go on. I probably should have walked away or moved to the receptionist next to her. I don’t know why I entertained it.

I just don’t think she had the right to go on, raised tone, and argumentative based on one appointment. Without knowing my medical history or anything else.

Ironically I was in hospital both on Friday and Monday for different things - and I work so you can imagine the time off. So I was just frustrated as she was speaking to me like I was a neglectful teen mum (no offence as I had my first as a late teen and I was patronised as yes, I was still a child).

I wouldn’t make this up. I started writing an email to to trust to complain. I honestly wish I recorded it but I was just shocked, tired.

she seemed quite young. I look young for my age so maybe she thought she was doing me a favour by talking to me like that. She was rude.

I have never had to argue my case to a receptionist - ever.

7am ??? That's mad

God she was way over the top. And rather passive aggressive.
Fair enough to warn you not to keep missing appointments- the rest completely heavy handed and unnecessary.

Do send in a complaint- She may have been referring to you being a young mum rather than ethnicity? Although that in itself is prejudice and she’s in no position to make any judgements.

Just keep to the facts and complain through the correct channels.

Could there be a note on your file about your home life or perhaps she was mixing you up with someone else as it seems very odd to be commenting on social services for a missed appointment! That said, you must cancel appointments if you can’t attend them, you had two days to cancel it.

I was a young mum over a decade ago @SmileyClare ! I’m now in my early 30s with my second and I have never had any issues with the authority at all! No SS, not even issues at school.

I mean whatever her indirect comment was about, as a professional in a ward like maternity, she didn’t need to go off like that.

I can see why I was booked in at 7am for the appointment last minute @reflecting2023 - I don’t think anyone else would take it.

You're not wrong @KentishMama .

I've recently had experience of receiving an appointment, completely out of the blue, to see a specialist for no reason known to me.

Appointment received Thursday for consultation the following Monday.

Was passed from pillar to post to try to get to the bottom of it (I suspected it was a mistake and I could cancel the appointment ) but all to no avail.

Attended appointment (just in case something had cropped up unbeknown to me - I have a long standing condition) - Doc showed me referral letter - wrong information on it - he dischargd me.

Meanwhile, sat at home suffering , is some poor devil, desperate to see this specialist.

What a waste.

@Wingedharpy Insanely frustrating, isn't it? It is such an avoidable problem, too.

Ok. I was responding to your comment about “looking young for your age” Just a thought. She probably was racist- she sounds every other “ist” !

Ive no idea why she thought it her job to threaten you with social services.

Its complete rubbish. HCPs cannot make referrals to SS if a woman does not engage with pre natal care. That’s your choice. Your care will also not be withdrawn if you miss a blood test.

She was judgemental, rude and threatening in her attitude, as well as making shit up.

It sounds like she’s drunk on a little bit of power sitting behind a desk.

She must spend her day reprimanding patients and telling them they’ll have the “authorities” round because missed appointments are very common.

OP where I live (in the Uk), they just give me a blood test form and I can rock up at any phlebotomy (blood) unit in the whole city at my own leisure and blood can be taken. It's a walk in so usually only 2 or 3 people in front of me.

Could you ask for that next time - its made my life easier.
I hate being late and even if I set off early to make sure I get parked etc there's always some drama.

Sorry that you were spoken to in this way.

@Muchof well I’m based in London and we get all sorts of characters here. Maybe she has never been reported before. I don’t know what made her think she could speak to anyone like that.

You don’t have to believe me, I know what I went through and I am complaining about it. If you don’t want to believe that bad people work in the NHS, look up NHS stories on Panorama or Dispatches.

@notanaturalmum I was told that I could walk in when I attended my appointment on Monday. But the lady today said there is no such thing (although I’ve used the walk in service in the past). Anyway I’ve rescheduled and hopefully I don’t have to interact with anyone like that again.